Young girl into mature women

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Ana_1996, Nov 28, 2015.

  1. Ana_1996

    Ana_1996 New Member

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    Please help. Since I can remember I've always had an appreciation for women over 30, but since I've gone to college it's gotten out of hand. I'm crushing hard on one of my professors, and I can't stop flirting with women I meet when in out. Girls my age are all well and good, but there is something about a woman who is powerful and well traveled that entices me. Has anyone else had similar feelings? How should I deal with this desire? I don't want to get hurt or hurt anyone.
     
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  2. wonderlust

    wonderlust Well-Known Member

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    Being attracted to older women isn't an issue for as long as you don't thread waters that would be deemed reprehensible on the larger scale of things-- i.e. flirting and trying to get involved with someone who you know is spoken for, married, etc. (basically the same standards of right and wrong regardless of how old the person you fancy is). I was infatuated with a professor before, I just rode out the feelings throughout the semester and as cheesy as it sounds--- I actually tried extra hard in class to impress her.lol

    As you said, you gravitate towards women who are powerful and well-travelled, I see how that would be attractive for a lot of people, so yes, I think you're fine. If you find someone older than you and there's no repercussions then go for it, just let yourself be open to whatever possibilities come your way--- the digits are secondary.
     
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  3. laura7

    laura7 Member

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    Oedipus complex also exist for women...
     
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  4. sela9

    sela9 Well-Known Member

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    ha oedipus complex....or perhaps she just likes older, more experienced, confident women who have their sh*t together
     
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  5. Lauren_1989

    Lauren_1989 Active Member

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    I agree with Wonderlust, as long as you're staying within the boundaries of what is acceptable then so what if you like older women? There are plenty of older women who like younger people in return, there's nothing strange about it!
     
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  6. Crescida

    Crescida New Member

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    Hey. Professors are people too!
    I agree with wanderlust, too. There is NOTHING wrong with a good crush, no matter the age.
     
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  7. Jane Doe

    Jane Doe Well-Known Member

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    I agree with dating older women. You learn a lot from them. I have dated someone 18yrs my senior and I found her so cute. It was great. I dont see anything wrong with it as long as you are getting along well.
     
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  8. TheScandinavian

    TheScandinavian Well-Known Member

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    To be honest, it's hot to be fancying a professor and if you're actually having something with one it's even hotter. However, hope you're smart enough to know that this could cost her job (assuming she's at least bi and fancies you too).
    There's nothing wrong with fancying elder women-to each their own, as they say, BUT you need to protect yourself as well-some elder women often play with the heart of a much younger lover. You need to watch out for that.Also-whether they're married or not is a big deal since, chances are-she's not likely to leave her family for you.

    I, like you, fancy elder women. The woman I'm still in love with is 10 years elder than me. The ones I crush on are round the same (the actress Michelle Rodriguez being one of them-17 years elder than me). If you know what is good for you and how to protect yourself (and her if she happens to be your teacher or boss or whatever), then it's all good.

    I personlly don't believe that one can change but you can always behave. Know what the rules are and fae the consequences when needed.
     
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  9. Coffee Addict

    Coffee Addict Well-Known Member

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    I think you fall for the person, not the age (obviously within the legal parameters referenced by others). I think the problem here is that she is you professor. A fantasy attraction, something more on the platonic side is fine; however, a professor and a student (regardless of both their ages) is a full blown conflict of interest, and harassment. This is all independent from who is older and whether there is consent or not.

    I have been on her side of things, where a student wanted to go out with me. Age was not an issue at all, I was the one who was younger. The problem was the professor-student relationship. I was ethically bounded to respect that person, and respect my other students. She wanted to go out under the assumption we were both adults. We were but we were not perfect.

    I put it simply at the time, imagine we go out and everything is ok until we get into a disagreement. I am sure it will spill over into the grades. Furthermore, I would hold her to a higher standard than any other student, I would be more strict on every regard. I couldn't do that to her, to the class or to myself. Eventually, when the conflict was over (i.e., I was not longer a professor) we became friends and hanged out outside school.

    Fantasize all you want, that's fine. Talk to her in friendly way if you want to know her better. But please, don't put her on a situation that can jeopardize her career and yours.
     
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  10. Flashover

    Flashover Member

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    As a lot of the ladies here have said as long as you are two consenting adults it shouldn't matter. I've dated both younger and older women (FYI I am early thirties for reference). You never know who you will click with. A crush is only a crush unless you act on it. So dealing with this desire it really comes down to are they an available consenting adult and do you wish to act on your crush or not?
     
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