Yet another post in the sea of posts in here

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by Magz1994, May 2, 2016.

  1. Magz1994

    Magz1994 New Member

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    Hi all,
    So i'd really like some help deciphering this girl that I like. I have been invited into her friend group and don't want to say anything to her unless absolutely certain because i don't want to betray her trust. I'll just bullet point it because there's so many things over nearly a year :)

    So here are all of the things that make me feel like she does:
    1. She said she had been back a week already from her trip and still hadn't seen me.
    2. She wanted to see me (albeit with another person) before she left.
    3. We snap chat each other every day and message occasionally but in depth.
    4. She compliments me in ways like, you look dapper today or you look snazzy today.
    5. We hang out every week practically and often go down to the waterfront at night time having a coffee.
    6. She remembers random off comments months ago like me saying that I wanted to get more toned and her close friend and flatmate invited me to join them at the gym.
    7. She often talks about me coz I find out from other people and how she wants me to work with her in this organisation that we volunteer with.
    8. We often toy with one another, that's how we communicate.
    9. We have these moments where we look at each other for like 4/5 seconds into each others eyes (gay I know :p) but she has been intoxicated so maybe it's nothing.

    The things that confuse me:
    1. She said she doesn't like girls but then she said she'd fuck (excuse my language) a girl another time we hung out.
    2. She's having sex with guys and constantly talking about guys and how much she likes them but is really cutthroat with them, doesn't really see them as anything more than something to sleep with.
    3. Is sometimes really distant and seems really happy about me being on dates, other times kinda weird about it.
    4. She's not an affectionate person in any means and often doesn't really show emotion when I'm leaving or like she cares.
    5. Is often on and off at parties, sometimes being really close to me and cheeky, other times it's like i'm not even there.
    6. I say stuff like I'm on tinder then she'll say she's on tinder as well. Then when I say I've deleted it or am not so interested anymore she does the same
    That's all the things I could think of. Please help me out guys :p.
    Are there like tests I could do to see if she likes me in a not so straightforward way?
     
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  2. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    May I ask why you would want to be with this person? She sounds like a nice friend, but a terrible gf. She says she is not into girls but would fuck one. She uses guys for sex (and maybe they don't mind that, but just know how she views her sexual partners.)

    So would moving from the friend to the person she fucked and then kicked their still steam carcass to the curb really be a move you want to make? She doesn't sound like she is in a place to have any type of relationship with a girl.
     
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  3. Magz1994

    Magz1994 New Member

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    Yeah it definitely seems like she's not really sure how to date due to trust issues. It was more that she didn't like girls in any sense and that she wasn't queer and then has said stuff like that. Hmm, i'm not necessarily sure that she would treat me like that as she just doesn't really have a high opinion of men as a whole and just sees them as something to get her rocks off. But you're right, if I were to just have sex with her it wouldn't really go down well! So there's no test that I could do or something? it's just that we really click with on an emotional and intellectual level and I haven't really found that with someone before :p. Thanks for your help :)
     
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  4. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    No, there is no test. Straight up asking someone is the closest thing that there is to a test.

    But if you are afraid to ask her, then all your options are more oblique (flirt and see what happens, drop hints and see if she rolls with them). Even when you ask someone straight up 'do you like me' the answer you usually get is actually 'do you like me / can you face being gay / are you ready to be emotionally honest.' Sometimes a girl does in fact like another girl, but is so not ready to deal with it. And if you are more oblique - say go the flirting route, sometimes the answer you get is 'are you drunk enough to fuck me if no one else takes you home first.'

    I don't really see how you can be clicking with this girl on an 'emotional level' if she possibly likes you, but is banging every guy in sight and saying weird stuff like "I don't dig girls, but I could fuck one." It is probably more accurate to say that 'you click as friends, but she is a disaster in her dating life.'

    Relationships aren't easy, if they are going to work, both people (or all 3, or what have you for the open relationship types) need to bring emotional skills to the table like honesty, trust, vulnerability, etc... You aren't really clicking with her in an 'emotional level appropriate for dating' given what you have described.

    You have a crush on her, which is clouding your judgement. This doesn't make you 'bad' it just makes you very, very human. If you try to pursue her, she will likely break your heart. Or you will get burned. Or both. Obviously, it is your call if you want to try anyhow. Though if you do, I would suggest that you go slow about sleeping with her, practice safer sex and get tested for stds. Not that I am 'slut shaming' her for sleeping around, I am just being practical about the medical risks of sleeping with someone who has / has had multiple partners.
     
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  5. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    I don't see how any of your bullet points indicating that she "might" like you stand for the proposition that she does like you. I read each and every one -- and it seems more to me like this is a friendship...or even a budding good friendship and nothing more.

    She's also made it point blank clear that although she'd fuck a girl, she's not into girls. I think that speaks volumes here.

    Many times we project onto people what we want to see from them -- this girl is your friend while you hope for more. Seems to me you're getting your hopes up for nothing.
     
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  6. TheScandinavian

    TheScandinavian Well-Known Member

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    She kind of sounds like me (bad self-advertising)-I mean that she's using guys for sex. Using's not okay-can't lie.
    However, I personally think she's either willing to experiment more or she's doubting her sexuality. Frankly, I must agree with the previous comments-she's a good friend but a terrible girlfriend choice. Even if she decides to be completely honest about who & what she wants, you'll want to play along but it's likely for you to be the brokenhearted and I don't think that you'll want that either... Better transfer your interest to someone more available.
     
    #6
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