Workplace crush...

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by Cricket, Aug 29, 2013.

  1. Cricket

    Cricket Well-Known Member

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    More of a vent than a "does she like me":

    I recently received a promotion in my workplace and am working at a new location as a supervisor. I was welcomed by the new staff. Many of them are curious about me because I am very obviously a lesbian and my style is a little different than what they are used to. I decided to diffuse the tension by making very mildly off-color jokes. Nothing that anyone would even remotely consider inappropriate unless you are a nun or completely homophobic. I've done this to casually out myself but still keeping it as carefree as possible. It's gone pretty well. But one employee in particular seems to have taken an interest in me...she is seemingly straight and much older...in her early 40's and I am in my mid twenties. She's already expressed having been sexually dissatisfied in her previous relationship which seemed like a pretty odd topic of conversation considering I am her boss...but lately I've found myself teasing her and she has been egging me on for more attention. She is quite beautiful. I think older women are exquisite....especially when they are so young at heart. It is impossible for me to not give her attention.

    Anyway, she grabbed my arm the other day and squeezed it a few times. This was the first time she broke the touch barrier. I am relatively muscular for a female since I am active and she seemed to like it. Since that moment she steals glances at me when I walk in the room. When I get in her personal space (not inappropriately) I sense a real tension between us and at one point I had a brief image of myself slowly pulling her in and kissing her right there in front of everyone. I have a deep belief that when one person experiences that type of lust, that the other person is probably feeling similarly at that moment...like some sort of carnal natural reaction. Later that day when I was walking by and she was talking to someone else, I saw her look over the person's shoulder, and I swear the quick glance she gave me was smoldering with...something...and with a smirk that would make your knees buckle. Needless to say, I have been desperate need of a cold shower on a regular basis lately. I am not planning on pursuing anything...my job is at stake and I couldn't imagine risking everything for what I assume would be an extremely brief fling. But I really think the sex would be amazing.

    End of vent.
     
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  2. ella.bosom

    ella.bosom Member

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  3. shybichick

    shybichick Active Member

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    I am in a similar situation at work except that I would be the other woman. I'm in my late 30's have spent many years in denial about my feelings for women. While I am still attracted to men there are some women in particular stems have always caught my eye. However due to my insecurites and fear about openly acknowledging my feelings it has always made me stop short. Things changed when I started my new job. I noticed this one woman who stood out immedietly, probably becaue at first glance I thought she was a cute young guy( she's in her mid 20's). I would peak over at her from a distance whenever she passed by and she'd catch me every time. So one day she gives me a small tentative smile and I froze then looked away. The physical attraction was instan and my heart was beating was fast. I'm sure I was blushing because she gave me another small smile. Again I fumbled by answering quickly and going back to my work. When you mentioned the instant lust I felt that and more because I want to pursue something more with her beyond sex which I think would be toe curling. The problems is because I screwed her two attemps she kinda ignores me and when I try to engage her in any sort of small talk she's just polite but not really friendly. I get why she's acting this way because we're both from the same Carribbean background where homophobia is rampant. She took a step and I did exactly what she was afraid of. Unbeknowst to her a small few have made comments about how she dresses too much like a tomboy. I defend her and say there's no rule book on how a woman is supposed to dress. Anyways I like how she dresses and think she has a great body with a great ass that I check out everytime she bends down to pick something up...LOL

    So any advice on what to do or is my situation hopeless?
     
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  4. sundancer

    sundancer Well-Known Member

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    Cricket-- Oh man that must be really tough. I can't say that it's ever happened to me before, but I can imagine how difficult it must be to work with the person and not being able to make a move because you are her Manager.

    shybichick -- The situation may be hopeless unless you gain better rapport with her. It might work if you don't flirt with her, but just gain better rapport in general with her.
     
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  5. shybichick

    shybichick Active Member

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    Thanks for your response sundancer. I've been trying to make small talk but she's not making it easy. I thought she wasn't interested until I caught her glancing at me whenever she walked by. So now I'm thinking WTF? Is this chick interested or just a tease? Because again when I try to engage her it's like pulling teeth trying to read her.
     
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  6. loveforallmyhomies

    loveforallmyhomies Active Member

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    Shybichick, ask her to coffee and see her reaction...
     
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  7. shybichick

    shybichick Active Member

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    loveforallmyhomies, there's a reason why my user name has the word shy in it :) I have started making small talk however when I do see her passing we acknowledge each with heads up but that's it. I'm the one always initiating the small talk. I stick to neutral work topics. So either she's not interested or she's kinda dense and not getting the hints of me openly checking her out, smiling and making eye contact, and coming up with stupid questions to ask her when I do manage to corner her. One time I'm pretty sure I caught her looking checking out my D girls when I bent to pick something up but that's nothing. I don't think I've ever worked this hard to land someone before....jeez
     
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  8. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    @Cricket...I am typing this as I am shaking that cold shower out of my ear. Whoa, smoking! I agree with your predicament. She needs to make the move because she does work under you and while you are reviewing your employee handbook, she could be a straight girl looking for some attention. If it is serious she will approach you. Otherwise, add ice to your bathtub or go on a date with someone else.

    @Shy, you crack me up. I have a feeling that you are Sly (smart) as well as Shy and that makes a gay girl run if she thinks you are straight and you are just teasing. Shy people sometimes get extra witty and funny and may joke a lot to mask the shyness. If this is important to you, you need to yank up your pantyhose and just ask the girl out. She might just need to get that dose of sincerity from you. EDIT: Drop a cup of coffee at her desk, or her favorite snack once in a while. Casually invite her to make a coffee run with you. It is not a big deal but it is a really friendly thing as a co-worker invite.
     
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  9. shybichick

    shybichick Active Member

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    Hey Greylin, your advice had me cracking up. I think you're right about her being cautious. I'm defintely not a tease & would like to get to know her better. I think she's shy too and that ain't helping the situation either. It would be easier if we worked in an office but we work in a warehouse. We're both constantly moving and she starts later than I do. Once again today I had to initiate the conversation but I finally got a half smile and she complimented me on my new hairstyle. Screw it I'm gonna ask her out next week. Sheeit... she better be a damn kisser and more for the legwork I'm doing...lol
     
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  10. loveforallmyhomies

    loveforallmyhomies Active Member

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    Great! I''ll be here in anticipation of your post, Shy. Good luck :)
     
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  11. shybichick

    shybichick Active Member

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    Well folks it appears it wasn't meant to be. I didn't ask her because I don't think she likes me in that way. Today each time I tried to engage her leading to me asking her out she just gave me one word answers and then go on her way. So I'm taking the hint and dropping it. Thanks for the advice all :)
     
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  12. loveforallmyhomies

    loveforallmyhomies Active Member

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    Awww, I'm sorry :(
    Thanks for keeping us posted. Hopefully you'll have better luck in the future :)
     
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  13. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Shy, I don't know if people say, "you go girl", anymore, but "you go girl". That was really cool what you did even though it didn't get you what you wanted. Take care.
     
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  14. shybichick

    shybichick Active Member

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    Thanks Greylin and loveformyhommies. I can't lie it stings especially since I initially thought there was something there. She is a cutie with a great ass even in baggie camouflage shorts :D Oh well there's always a risk when you put yourself out there. We are fickle creatures who get tangled up in misunderstandings and missed cues. On to the next one and hopefully I can overcome my shyness.
     
    #14

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