Work colleague help

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by anonymous160, Sep 6, 2014.

  1. anonymous160

    anonymous160 Member

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    Hi guys. I need some advice on a woman I work with that I really like. She is older than me (19 years older) an we have worked for the same company for 1 1/2 years but I only just realised how much I like her. I also started realising the little things she does and wondered if she also likes me.

    Some signs that I have read about, she seems to do, like the other day I was doing something, turned around and caught her looking at me and she smiled. We equally initiate conversation. When I walk passed her desk she has obviously been watching me as she will turn to talk to me. When we talk she touches my hand and arms, in fact Once she asked me to protect her in my arms. When we talk her body language is open- arms uncrossed and body/feet pointing to me. If we are at a work event she will poke me to get my attention if I am with someone else. If I touch her or stand close she doesn't move away. Once she playfully called me a name in front of someone and then said that I know she loves me really and then smiled at me as she left the room. She also told me that she was talking about the gym with a friend and that she said how muscular I was and the friend asked if I looked like a guy but she told the friend that I was very pretty.

    The other day I hadn't seen her all day and as soon as I walked passed her desk she was telling me that she had been in meetings and hadn't been feeling good. I go back to my desk and then 10 mins later she comes in looking for someone else but sits at my desk again. She says her head hurt so I touched her forehead. After that she told me a story and started touching my hair. Then she said that she needed to pamper herself to look gorgeous. I told her she was already gorgeous, she said something along the lines of her not being gorgeous again and again I said she was - I felt like she wanted to confirm what I said but I don't know, I'm blinded by my feelings.

    However on the other hand sometimes she doesn't wanna email me much- short answers and seems to blow hot and cold.
    Am I being crazy and she is just friendly? Or is there something more??not sure if she sees me as a little sister as I'm so much younger? any help would be appreciated :)
     
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  2. staringatthesun

    staringatthesun Well-Known Member

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    Well first I would be curious to know how is the rest of the work environment. Is this a very laid back company or is everyone very uptight and "work proper". I would also suggest looking at how she behaves with other employees, does she treat them the same as you?

    Try and have a discussion with her if you can about where she spends her weekends and maybe try and feel out her "lifestyle", I would imagine that by her age, since shes 19yrs older than you...if she were interested in girls, she would have come to be more open about it by that age. So see what she says when you ask what she did last weekend. I would also try one other thing: Try working into a convo that you're friends with someone who is lesbian/or bi and just casually mention how "oo how cute my friend is, this is her and her girlfriend, everyone I know puts up pics on facebook" kinda thing. Her reaction might help clue you in.

    As for whether or not she is currently interested in you...this is a real toughie as I don't feel I have enough information to make that assessment.
     
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  3. anonymous160

    anonymous160 Member

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    Hey thanks for your reply. Hmmm the plot thickens.... She was married (to a man) this broke down however as neither can afford to move out and they have 2 young children together, they still live together (even though it's over between them).

    Our office is really uptight. We don't really talk much- we actually sit in silence for long periods of time like naughty children!! There are a lot of deadlines so it's pretty serious there. Convos don't usually last long if it's not related to work. Thinking on how she acts with others, usually she talks about work stuff with them. There is another girl who she is friends with and when I see them talking she doesn't seem to sit as close to her or do the touching thing to her but I will spend some time trying to watch her interactions this week :)

    Forgot to add she does know I like girls.
     
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  4. staringatthesun

    staringatthesun Well-Known Member

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    Well after a week or two of observing, the best thing to really do is just try and find a way to hang out outside the office. I know its hard..my post is below yours and its pretty much a similar situation. I think that the only real way to sort things out is to try and see if the girl in question is interested in spending time getting to know you, without that, its really hard to go from there.
     
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  5. anonymous160

    anonymous160 Member

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    Hey staring at the sun (and co). Quick update. I'm pretty sure she does act differently with me. I tested her this week and didn't always make myself so available to her. She started coming to my office and at one point nearly pushed me off my chair to get my attention. We had this intense convo and I think I'm screwed. She said that it's hard for her due to her culture and that she wants to see "people" but culture/society wouldn't allow it. I found it interesting she said people and not men, maybe I'm reading into that one word too much. She was sort of holding my fingers as she said it which was, as i said, intense!
     
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  6. anonymous160

    anonymous160 Member

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    So things had been going well until today. So I thought this woman was into me. She was not at work today as she had gone for an interview. Later on i saw her come on msn. I asked her how it went to which she said well and that she was drained. She then said she would be back in the office next week. I felt that this meant she didn't want to speak to me and I said sorry I thought you were working from home. She said it's ok my friend. We chatted a bit more then she said she had to go and that she would see me next week my friend. Is this her stating that we are just colleagues and calling me friend to tell me that, that is all we are?? Feel completely blown out by the fact she told me she would be in the office next week like she didn't want to interact with me outside office time. Any thoughts??
     
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  7. Coffee Addict

    Coffee Addict Well-Known Member

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    I hope this message finds you well. I just found this post and read your inputs about your interactions with your co-worker. It seems like she is a friendly kind person. It is hard to tell by your comments if she is into you or not, however, I would be inclined to say that she is just a good friend.

    Don't read to much into little things, she looks like a wonderful person. Enjoy her friendship, get to know her more.
     
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