Women who wants to be chased

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by Apocalypse, Aug 20, 2013.

  1. Apocalypse

    Apocalypse Active Member

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    Why some women want to be chased ?
    Let's call her Seniorita. How can I fight for Seniorita when all she does, is just waiting for me to put up for a fight to show how much I deserve a chance, like she is a special person ? If she doesn't do anything to show me that my fight is worth it, then why she is expecting something that I can't do it blindly, without knowing what's actually in as the prize ? and if I don't fight, she will label me as anybody else a "tourist" for a moment in her life, then she gets the impression that I haven't seen what kind of a special person she is. Fortunately and lucky me, it happens that I am a very intuitive person so it doesn't take me too long to observe someone's qualities. But it's a general question, because I saw many cases where both sides fails.
     
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  2. RVT

    RVT Well-Known Member

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    If you have made the decision to fight for someone, then you have already decided that she is worth it, in my opinion. She shouldn't have to show you that it will all be worth it if she hasn't asked this of you and hasn't promised you anything. Rather, if you yourself have undertook to chase her to win her, then the onus is on you to make it so. If you genuinely want her, you have to be inventive and committed. "If you want something you have never had, you have to do something you have never done."

    In terms of why women like to be chased, I think there are many reasons. Some like the power and attention, some are slow to trust, some don't know how to be the aggressor in relationships, some are oblivious to the affections of others, some prefer to be single and some simply don't know how to love. There's no one answer, it just depends on the woman herself. If you know anything of her, you must have a good idea of her particular reasons.
     
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  3. Apocalypse

    Apocalypse Active Member

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    I understand better, thanks to your answer. Now I see that, unconsciously I am questioning my intuition ability.. and yeah, I do have a really good idea about that woman and she is not like the other women, I told her in a vague and childish way how special she is in the first minute I contacted her. But FAIL is tattooed on my fate.
    One more question if you want to answer, since you brought it up and that one is killing me. "some are slow to trust" I am also an impatience person, someone told me that maybe the others are not so intuitive like me, so I have to slow it down when trying to know other people. I get that, they need time because they can't observe things as fast as I can. They are too damn precautious, but if they are like that, that means they can't see what kind of a person I am ?
     
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  4. RVT

    RVT Well-Known Member

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    The only fate that matters is the one you make for yourself. It's irresponsible to blame fate for failures.

    It might be the case that others are less intuitive or perceptive than you, but I don't think that has anything to with those who are slow to trust. Usually these people take their time because they have trusted in the past and after some time, have been screwed over in some horrible way. We all learn through consequence - even if the lessons aren't positive.

    In my experience, the best way to earn the trust of someone like this is to be supportive, to spend time with her and show her you are what she needs. You can't demonstrate that sort of thing over night. The strongest foundations take time to build.
     
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  5. Apocalypse

    Apocalypse Active Member

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    It was a little joke with the fate, I don't even have a full processed idea about what is fate, nor even bothering with that stuff. I never blame anything else for my mistakes.

    I know that I must demonstrate, since anyone can take its time to say the right words which are inferior to taking actions. And I am not even good with the words anyway. I have done some similar mistakes in the past (I was a teenager), not too many times, but I didn't let that change me. I grew up enough now, so I know exactly what I am looking for in people. It's enough for me to know what I want, then the obstacles coming from them are not my first concern at all, my first concern would be what I do really need to find in those people so a "give up" or even a "fail" will not wait for me behind every single obstacle. I know how to build a real serious relationship, is just that I crossed the start line with the left foot. Shallow friendships I want from the rest of the people. There's only one single woman whom I am willing to demonstrate her. What I am going to fight for, it will be a total different situation, I am not able to be around her in reality, but I found another ways to demonstrate.
     
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