Why couldn't she call me? badly need your opi...

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Nerdy, Jul 22, 2014.

  1. Nerdy

    Nerdy Member

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    We had been together for 7mos.
    We live 4 hours apart. She graduated last April2014. She doesn't have a job yet so she's been living with her parents since April. I have not seen her in almost 4mos now. I was trying so hard to understand her situation. She has super strict parents that won't even allow her to talk on her phone when they're around. So all we did was text and chat on facebook. We only talked like once or twice a month and that's ony for like 5mins or less per call. You know, it's not enough for me. And I often felt so lonely even though we were texting each other. I told her many times about it but nothing changed. She just wouldn't make any effort to call me. I don't think her parents were always around her. And she could always find ways to hide to call me even just for a minute everyday. But she never did and always made excuses.

    She's really close to her family, I get that. Sometimes I would get jealous but I tried not to cause they're her family. But you know, I'm a lonely girl who doesn't event talk to her family except mom. I'm suffering from depression and anxiety and I receive no support from anyone. I have few friends that I rarely hang out with. And even if I do hang out with them, I still feel like sht. I need my girlfriend so bad. I need her hug. I need to feel her presence. Sometimes I get super depressed and cry myself to sleep. 2days ago I was so depressed and was crying all night. Told my girlfriend about it. She sent me msgs that would calm me down. Same messages she would send me everytime I would get depressed. The day after that I broke up with her. I guess I just got tired. So tired of the situation. I don't know if I did the right thing. All I know is that she makes me lonelier sometimes. All I want is to hear her voice. Hear her laugh. Hear her say that everything's gonna be okay. :(
     
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  2. Just Me

    Just Me Well-Known Member

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    Re: Why couldn't she call me? badly need your...

    I'm sorry to hear you're in such a situation. The first thing I have to say is; this relationship you two had doesn't sound like a healthy one, so perhaps letting her go will be the best for you. If she's not in a position to have telephone conversations with you because of her parents, then she's not available to be the girlfriend you deserve. Sounds like she has some family issues to overcome before she can be in any relationship situation. So do not think her behaviour is solely because of you, don't take it personally. Secondly it sounds you should take some time to love yourself before getting into a relationship. I know that sounds cliche and cheesy as hell, but it's true. It's incredibly hard for somebody to be in a relationship with one who doesn't love herself.... Other people can't make you love life, they can make it a bit better, but you have to learn to love it yourself first.
     
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  3. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    Re: Why couldn't she call me? badly need your...

    You've been "together" for 7 months and you say that "We only talked like once or twice a month and that's ony for like 5mins or less per call. You know, it's not enough for me.."

    I don't mean to sound harsh -- but frankly, that's NOT a girlfriend relationship. You don't even say if you've actually seen her or been with her in person. This sounds like a fantasy in your head -- who knows if what she's telling you is real or just enough to keep you interested, because if you're not there, how will you know the truth anyway.

    So here's where I say what I've said to people a thousand times: DO NOT RELY ON SOMEONE ELSE FOR YOUR HAPPINESS. If you're depending on this person -- to whom you barely speak -- to be the source of your happiness (and you're depressed and anxious without her), then you really need to look within yourself as to the real reasons why you feel this way. Crying all night because of this person that it seems like you don't even know? C'mon you're better than that! It's up to you to be happy and work on things within yourself first..anyone else should add to your happiness... NOT be the source of it.
     
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  4. Leslie

    Leslie New Member

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    Hi, I know this was written in July but your words resonate with my situation. A girl I work with just came out to me last month and she is attracted to me. I have been falling for her and we actually had our first kiss a few days ago. It was beautiful, but you know, she works other jobs also to make ends meet so she barely calls me. She barely texts me. I haven't heard from her since 3 days and here I am crying myself to sleep also. I keep telling myself, "She's got to have at least a little time in her schedule to tell me that she's thinking of me". I start to get anxious and I worry that she doesn't really like me, but she is telling me that she Does.

    Every one here is right. You and I both, have to focus on ourselves. We have to calm down, get on with our lives and love ourselves. Hold your head up high, be proud of who you are because deep down, you know that you can attract love from a girl. Now I know that is true. I never thought a woman could love me but she came along and poured her feelings out to me. If they say they're busy or can't talk then let them be. If it's meant to be, she will come to you. I am learning that now. It's very hard to wait for her but I don't want to keep worrying myself to the point of crying myself to sleep every night. I'm sure she isn't crying. She knows that she is loved by me and she is confident in herself because of that.
    We have to have that same confidence. Know that she likes you. I don't know what your situation is at this point now. I hope you are doing okay. I'm curious to know if you got back together with her. I'm just a big ball of emotions. I pour my heart out to her and I think I'm pushing her away. She's not so used to being loved this way. She was married in the past and it was a terrible, abusive emotional roller coaster for her. We decided to take things slow and get to know each other better. But that darn kiss she gave me just keeps me hanging on for more. She says she wants to kiss me again. I say that is a good sign.
    All in all, I'm glad I found your post because I was starting to feel like I'm the only one that feels like this and gets all sad and emotional. I'm such a big baby when it comes to women.
     
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    Just Me likes this.

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