Where to start...

Discussion in 'Advice on Meeting Women' started by LadyJoJo, Jul 20, 2015.

  1. LadyJoJo

    LadyJoJo Member

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    Hey there, folks.

    I came out at the beginning of the year, it took me 11 years to finally let myself be who I am – it was a huge relief and, for the most part, I feel very happy. I’m in my early 30s and would love to finally start dating now that I’m a lot more comfortable in my own skin.

    I’m incredibly introverted despite being a regularly performing musician and find it a struggle to interact with folks initially. I’ve played a few LGBT music nights and did meet some really lovely people but I don’t seem to be able to go past ‘just being friends’.

    A few friends have suggested online dating, a few say I should go to gay bars (not too keen on that, I have a hard enough time interacting with people when there isn’t loud music, hah!)... should I give these a try anyway?

    I sort of feel like I shouldn’t rush into things too though. Just keep going to LGBT events, make friends and eventually I might meet someone I click with. I guess because I feel like I held myself back for so long, I want to get on with my life!
     
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  2. aphonicbabel

    aphonicbabel New Member

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    I'm in much the same boat, a little older than you are and it seems incredibly hard to find someone if you aren't into the bar scene or more extroverted than I am.

    I wish you the best in this I hope you find someone.
     
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  3. Tamara05

    Tamara05 Member

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    Dont rush things, i think you should just keep doing what you are doing and someone will come along. Dating sites are good as you can meet new people and make new friends which maybe lead them to introducing you to another friend you may click with.
    You never know, someone may have seen you playing your music and are trying to get the courage up to speak to you.

    Congratulations on coming out and being true to yourself though, it truelly is a liberating feeling when you finally do it.

    All the best
     
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  4. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Meetup is another option. There you are meeting people in a group, instead of having so much one on one pressure.
     
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  5. Sapphology

    Sapphology Member

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    Hello, LadyJoJo!

    Firstly kudos to you for finally being comfortable enough in your own skin. :D Must have been a big weight off your shoulders and perhaps brought you some confidence.

    Similar to you I am shy and an introvert and I have done what you have mentioned - online dating, going to bars - and what I found the easiest was attending LGBT group meets/events. All suggestions so far have their ups and downs and it's a case of finding what is best for you. For me I prefer getting to know someone new one-on-one and/or in a small group setting, because in large social crowds people are easily distracted, loud music, so many trying to get know another at once, etc. So for that LGBT bars and nights out weren't for me when I tried. After that I then tried LGBT meets (a bit like what Bluenote suggested) and online dating. Meetups are great for meeting new people which expands your social circle quicker than nights out to bars, at least I think so for introvert. However I did noticedat the meetups I went to people tended to be in a relationship already but it may be a different experience for you. Online dating is the better option to try if you prefer the one-on-one setting and want to make meets a little more personal, it is also more direct in what it is you're looking for where meetups not so much, as I mentioned, however the plus side to meets/events is you meet so many like-minded people who will then introduce you to others they know, etc.

    I think what you're doing so far with not rushing and attending events is a good start. If you have the confidence definitely give bars and online dating at least one chance so you know what is for you and what isn't. And who knows who you might meet and click with in that one moment. Most importantly have fun, enjoy your new self-confidence and be open-minded to trying new things.
     
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  6. LadyJoJo

    LadyJoJo Member

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    Thanks for your replies everyone! I'm moving to a town in the Highlands next month so I think I'm going to have to try out online dating and social meet-ups because there isn't much of a gay scene unlike Glasgow.

    It's great to know I'm not the only introvert out there and fab to hear others experiences. Thank you so much! x
     
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