Where to go from here...?

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by Lifeisg00d, Jan 29, 2014.

  1. Lifeisg00d

    Lifeisg00d Member

    Nov 27, 2013
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    I will cut all the pretense of the story and say that this girl that I work with and I kissed a couple of months ago... she has a bf and I knew it wouldn't be the best idea. Anyways, fast forward about four months and here we are... we have a strong connection and hang out a lot. Last night she flat out told me that she liked me a lot... enjoyed my time, meeting me, uniqueness, and whatever else. I of course, reciprocated the feelings. We have a really strong connection, and I know she is genuine. She mentioned that she told her bf about this connection and that he is getting extremely jealous. Her relationship with him has been about 6 months long and to be honest she doesn't seem happy, but he has recently placed rules on what she can do around me. I guess they are trying to work on whatever it is their relationship is lacking. She brought him up the other day and noticed I got sort of sad... she said she prefers not to talk about him around me, because she likes me and doesn't want to talk about him. She said she tried to break up with him, but he over powered it. She said, she is going to let things play out "organically"... I guess all I do is sit back and let things play out like I have been, others have told me to stop giving my attention... What should I do? :|
  2. Ms Day

    Ms Day Member

    Jan 14, 2014
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    I can't properly tell you where you go from there, but I wouldn't give up just yet.
    Naturally you have no idea whether she is really sincere regarding all of it, but you see an undeniable connection and, by my book, strong connections just don't come out of nowhere for no reason. There's gotta be something there, right?
    Very recently I found myself in a similar situation, well... I met a woman with whom I had this insane connection. She said she was mostly straight, I told her I was married to a woman. We agreed on being friends, but there simply was something there that we could not ignore. But... I am married (and love my wife, in spite of the "hit" this connection meant) and this other woman lives in another country - where it is not easy to be gay - and she does not want to be gay (so she tells me), so we parted ways. However, it did mess up my head, my feelings towards my wife and my marriage. Perhaps if she lived here, I might have left my wife to be with her. We did kiss goodbye (and it was insane... amazing). Now my head is back on top of my neck and I am working my marriage out and I know it was the best option. My point is, though, you cannot ignore things like this. If you go away without giving it a shot, you will possibly forever wonder... and this is no good.
  3. Shinta

    Shinta Well-Known Member

    Jul 3, 2013
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    Well she obviously likes you, but not strong enough to let go of his boyfriend..
    i think you should be firm with her..give her an ultimatum, ask her to choose between you and her bf.
    there's no such thing as "over powered break up", if one wants to break up, then it's over..unless she doesn't really want that to happen.
    i got the feeling like..she knows you'll be waiting for her, you're always gonna be there for her, so she doesn't make you her priority.
    get her to choose..before you've fallen too deep for her.
  4. TADinUS

    TADinUS Well-Known Member

    Jan 25, 2014
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    Ugh... "She said she tried to break up with him, but he over powered it." - No matter the sexual orientation or sex, a relationship is a two-way street. It involves both parties wanting to stay together. This is major red-flags for that relationship. Hopefully he's not a psychopath... but keep in mind, his ego will be crushed if/when she leaves him for another woman. I'd recommend anyone to break up with an abusive person like that, I've done it before and they were happy to move on and find someone else better. A control freak only gets worse, he'll want to control every aspect of her life. I question WHY she would have brought you into a conversation with the BF.

    She needs to either not play games with this guy, if she is IN LOVE with him... then she needs to not look at anyone else.

    I'd ask her "do you see yourself with this boy in 2 years, 5 years?" And if/when she breaks up with him, give her time and space to be out of that relationship.

    *I asked my wife about the "he overpowered it" part of your post. Her response "that would make me want to break up with that person more.

    Good luck!

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