When in R̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶ Oxford...

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by Ellie.Hitch, Aug 1, 2013.

  1. Ellie.Hitch

    Ellie.Hitch Member

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    What-ho peeps! Your attention if you please...

    I'm currently doing an internship for a month in Oxford and one of my friends living here has been good enough to let me stay at hers- one of her housemate's is away until September. Anyway, I arrived a few days ago and will be staying for probably about 3 or 4 weeks before heading back to Uni in London.

    My friend came and picked me up and we drove to her place on Saturday night. She was telling me about who was going to be there as people were kinda coming and going over the month. (She'll be there the whole time as she's writing her PHD and her gf lives here.) She mentioned that her new housemate - let's call her 'H' would be staying through the Summer and that she too was a lover of the ladies and single and I was like 'Oh reeeeeeally?' And she gave me a 'don't go there' look because I think she has her as a prospective back up if things with her g/f don't work out! i'm just kiddin, her and her gf are doing well and are a lovely couple so I don't really think she's thinking that but it was odd that she didn't imply that it would be cool if I happened to like her… Anyway, I'm so picky that I wasn't holding my breath. I did, of course, hope she was hot.

    Just a bit of background: I would put down to a number of factors why I have been single for so long. I have slept with other girls before but I've never been as into them as much as they were me (it's just the way it's panned out, I'm not trying to sound like a dickhead). In fact I did fall for a girl many years ago for many years and she flattened my heart like a bug under a steam roller. Crap analogy but you get the point, I hope. I think I'd be lying if I said that hadn't made me a touch cynical- British cynicism too is, I believe, a much deeper, bitter kind than others(!) so I really don't have that carefree, love-everyone outlook anymore, sadly. Sorry to digress, just thought you should know I'm 'dark and twisty'.

    So I met 'H' on the first night but my muppet of a friend didn't introduce us (So she is the back up!). I was on the couch with the other housemates (who I had met before) and she walks in in all her sexy glory. Ha! She is actually really beautiful… score! :p But it wasn't a bitch slap-esque, knock-me-for-six-kind of realisation, more a 'oh well, she is actually really hot' (and that was that) kind of observation. I wasn't going to get carried away as she could have been a total dick or boring or a tory (that's like the political equivalent of a Republican for anyone who is wondering what a 'tory' is). Right so, she isn't any of those things. Over the past few days of speaking with her (in the mornings before we go to work or in the evenings) she seems incredibly sweet- softly spoken and kind about everything and everyone- really cute; she has incredible green eyes, dark hair, good teeth (lol) and just downright hot. I'm sorry I can't explain her in the way she deserves but she is generally easy on the eyes! ;)

    The reason I need help is that she is gorgeous and that makes me feel awkward when I'm otherwise very bubbly and confident with people. I am really fighting being shy around her or worse, being over the top and moronic around her, but really I don't want to be analysing everything I do and say! I need to remain chilled as life back home was anything but and I want to enjoy myself without second-guessing everything as that would be distracting from studying and interning.

    Anyway, before I make a royal tit of myself and start fancying her and getting weird can anyone please advise on what I can do? I mean, I know I should ask her about what she's into and not overdo the questions and scare her off, but I'm so bad at knowing what to do when I actually like someone that an objective opinion would be very helpful right now. How do I play it cool without completely missing out on an opportunity to 'make a move'?! Ha, I'm such an amateur...

    Thanks, lovelies.

    Ellie
     
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  2. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

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    hello....loooved ur writing.

    Sooo...well there r a few approaches I suppose...You could keep going as your going and continue to try to get to know her (btw, shyness is so much better than OTT tit of yourself). You would tho, as you fear, get a huge crush on her and go all 'wierd'. Now, just carrying on is the most common approach people take, but I personally think it is best avoided as one could end up with all these feelings and a reciepient who is completely ignorant of the situation.

    You could decide to keep your distance from her and get on with your summer and get to know other people and see if she fades into 'ordinary' over time. But I wouldn't do that either as she is hot and nice and it seems a waste not to try...

    So I rekon this: Ask her for a drink. By yourselves. Don't try and matey mate the invite too much. Give her the impression that it's a date. See what she says...You'll know if she fancies you or not by her response at least. I know...the prospect of asking someone out on a date is a bit horrific, but you'll be grand. Hop to it!
     
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  3. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member

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    I agree with Moses. Just take a deep breath and ask her for a drink. When your mate asks why your cracking onto "her back up" point out that she's being VERY greedy by having a gf and a back up.
     
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  4. Ellie.Hitch

    Ellie.Hitch Member

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    Thank you guys - sage advice, Moses. I think the 'tone' is spot on with a drink. I think I'd be a fool of a took not to at least put some effort in even if it means a temporarily damaged pride. The worst that can happen is I do overtime interning right? ;)
    Oh, except this one doesn't drink alcohol or hot drinks (I know, I know, she manages to function without tea every morning... what IS she?). Anyway, she's gone away to see her folks for a few days now so I will update you when she gets back. Did I have a moment on my own with her? Nope! So that also meant not even the faintest whiff of flirting because my friend ('R') would pick up on it straight away. And it would feel weird- like a family member was watching the ritual... Which begs the question as to whether I should just go ahead and tell R. Though I don't think there's anything to tell until I'm surer myself! R asked me what I thought of H yesterday. I said you can never trust someone who isn't caffeine dependent.

    R: Sooo what do we think of H? Are you in love yet?
    Me: (Staying cool, calm and collected) Yer, she's lovely (queen blasé right here)
    *O-H: I think she meant what do you think of her face
    Me: (Laughs casually) It's a lovely face...

    Then they both talk about how delightful she is for a good five minutes.

    Well, I shall speak to you soon, amigos!


    *OH= Other Housemate ;)
     
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  5. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

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    lol...re the tea. it does foster an inate suspicion right away...the non tea drinker. You almost feel like forcing a cuppa down their gob with the knowledge that the would take to it right away if they only knew what they were missing. No alcohol either...oh...

    So it has to be a gig then. Not the cinema, as that's entirely too datey. Whereas a gig, it's fine to sit and watch and not drink. Once that might encourage a bit of dancing might be good. You would prob have to stay on the lemonade too, in solidarity like. Could be nice

    Re the friends...Oh God, i wouldn't like an audience for my unco flirting. Jesus. They r obviously fishing for something...you might as well put them to work and get them to fish in her pond to see if she says anything complimentary about you...or tell them you think she is hot to see if it will be fed back...Or would you die of embarrassment. Also, the matey with the hot back up plan might not be 'helpful' and may try to 'hinder'. Hmmmm.

    Tis an interesting one tho...keep us posted!
     
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  6. Liv_

    Liv_ Member

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    Heya how's it going? Totally with Moses and yerself on the non-tea drinking that's a bit weird to be honest and coupled with disliking the beer.... well she better be really hot is all I am saying.... next ya will tell us she doesn't like puppies. Ah sure if you've your heart set on her, best thing to do (in my most humble of opinions) is to go and get yer mutal mate H is it? (lovely name) to suss out the story with her, discretely of course. Tell her none of this "back up" bollox and not to be greedy!

    Also like Moses' idea of the gig, can't hurt figure out what music she likes off yer mate first so ya can suggest something she's going to be into. Or why not try one of these things: (sorry can't work that url yolk)
    http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Attractions-g186361-Activities-Oxford_Oxfordshire_England.html
    Though to be fair there's a fair few fecking museums on the list but maybe sure ye might love that kinda and thing and there's no tea or alcohol in there so ye are laughing.

    Best a luck buddy and let us know how ya get on! :)
     
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  7. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

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    Any news?
     
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  8. Ellie.Hitch

    Ellie.Hitch Member

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    Howdy guys!

    My apologies for the silence... I've had to go back and forth to London this past week as my sister's been pretty ill in hospital (She's on the mend now, I'm happy to report).

    This has, however, slightly scuppered my grandplan to charm the pants off the delightful lady in question. There has not been a single suitable opportunity... YET... to woo her with my jokes and poetry (etc.). But, goshdarn, I still have 2 weeks: Eyes on the prize and all that malarky! ;)

    Haha, Liv... I should probably ask her if she does like puppies before making arrangements for a cultural date. If she isn't a dog person then I may have to reconsider even going there! Seriously... ;D

    I will hopefully be bringing some news of progress (or that she hates puppies) soon.

    Stay tuned,

    Amor
     
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