Hi there. I am a femme woman who prefers intimate relationships with women, but could possibly be with a man again, if he's the right person. A woman I know who is grieving loss of her lesbian spouse began expressing herself to me in ways that seemed to me romantic. Because she was still so distraught, and because I wasn't ready for a relationship, I told her I wanted to remain friends, but not to be lovers. And I told her the reasons why. Afterward, she called me up and told me her years of gaydar experience told her I'm not gay. Of course I reiterated that I am not strictly gay, no, but then told her it didn't feel good for her to tell me who I am. That's for me to say. Over a few months, we tried to be friends, but her grief and depression were constantly re-stimulated by her health crises and problems with her business. All conversations are about her, all the time, and it's like she can't stop talking. I'd experienced an assault and she felt down because I turned to someone else for support, someone who was in a good position to give support. So, she recently asked me to remove myself from her life until she feels better, and she says it's because she's worried about me and can't handle the stress. Why, I don't know, because I'm not sharing my stressors with her, not since telling her about the assault one time in November. But I wonder--does this sound like some sort of revenge to you, perhaps mixed with her being overwhelmed? Are there classic ways in which lesbian women take revenge on other women who turn them down for a romantic relationship? Is this, partially, one of them? I know the situation is complex, but I'd like to understand.