What's happening?

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by myfangirlstuff, Feb 22, 2018.

  1. myfangirlstuff

    myfangirlstuff New Member

    Feb 6, 2018
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    Hello everyone. I'm new here. I need some opinions. I don't know what's going on at work.
    Here I go...

    There is this woman in my job, don't know her age but she's not over 30yo… in my first few months she was quite rude to me and also to my colleagues. Even my colleagues think she thinks she’s superior. But lately she’s different.

    I don’t quite know what it was but I was on my computer and a man asked her for help and I was standing there and I was listening and when she was going to leave she could have walked right to the bottom of the hallway but no, she looked back very weird, to see if I had seen and heard.

    She was going to help me with something so I was following her behind her and she was touching her hair and putting it aside.
    — What the hell…

    She’s been explaining a lot of things to me about work. I don’t know what it is, whether it is interest to talk to me or interest in explaining things from work.
    — I’m confused. Give me a sign.

    So I was filling volley balls in the middle of the hall and she looks at me and looks at a place that has a few balls that are the end of a collection and asked if I had those to fill. I told her no. Then we went to the computer for her to teach me to see and ask for more balls. She explained everything right and then she could have left but no, as my computer was with “stand by” error she stayed there with me and she was explaining where it is to report the error and she wrote everything on my computer for me to see how it was done.

    Yesterdey I went by and I said “good afternoon” but she was attending a client and didn’t respond. So when I was going through her again, she was already looking at me to say “good afternoon”… describing how she was, hmmm, very bright eyes and super smiling.

    Later a colleague called me and I needed someone to go to open a conditioned room, my colleague mentioned Her or another superior, she volunteered in seconds to take me into the room. (Nothing happened just picked up what I needed.)
    ....and again she explained to me something else that I wasn’t remembering what it was.

    — I need some help. Anyone? What do you think about what is happening?
  2. MaddPanda

    MaddPanda Member

    Jun 27, 2016
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    This sounds like a really confusing situation. A think a lot can be said about a womens gaze. Seems to be shell jump at any chance to look at you. Perhaps even maybe over explain work related things to you in order to extend the time spent talking to you.

    On the other hand it's just doesnt seem like enough signs have been presented. I'd maybe wait for a few signs before thinking to deeply. Maybe even giving her attention 3 days in a row then on the 4th day try avoid/ignore her and be short with her to see what her reaction is to see if shell fight for your attention. Then 5th day go back to normal.

    I think wait for a few more things to present itself before doing anything to drastic.

    That being said if you do decide to do something careful to mix work and relations as that is a whole other battlefield.

    Keep in mind that could be something to think about before doing anything drastic. But playing a little hard to get is just a little short test to play on someone. Not exactly nice but being ignored by someones attention you crave can be hurtful too so keep that in mind to. But you maybe try playing a little hard to get but still showing interests so it takes her off guard a little.

    Take what I say with a grain of salt but that's just something to think about.
  3. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

    Jul 4, 2013
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    I think if a colleague who used to be rude and is now helpful I would just be so happy about it. She sounds like an overachiever who has found a better way with people. She patiently showed you the systems and stuck around to make sure it is done right. Perhaps get to know her better. Talk about a movie that you have seen lately or a book read. Make a friend.
    Nancy likes this.
  4. lorienczhiu

    lorienczhiu Well-Known Member

    Jul 18, 2013
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    I'm not seeing flirting.

    I'm seeing someone who usually is impatient with new folks/coworkers deciding that you're okay and that she will be kinder to you. Maybe she recognized that she was being a little standoffish. Maybe she got feedback in her annual review that she needed to be more of a team player. Maybe she doesn't bother to be nice to folks until they've been there X number of months.

    People help each other. People smile. People make eye contact. It's not a come on, it's someone who wants to be a colleague and maybe a friend.
    Nancy likes this.

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