What should I do?!

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by SMD, May 4, 2015.

  1. SMD

    SMD Member

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    I don't really know what I'm looking for here, but I do need some advice! I have a crush on a work colleague and I have no idea how to go about it.

    I don't see her much during my shifts but a few weeks ago we worked an event together. We got chatting and it turns out she has an amazing sense of humour and she's so easy to talk to!! We had such a laugh, and talked about anything and everything. The shift flew by. I've become more attentive to how she is around me since then, and she does tend to look at me...a lot...and we're always smiling at each other. It's so hard to explain, but you know when you have a connection with someone? Like we always seem to be aware of the other person being there? I look forward to going to work now, just because I know I'll get to see her at some point. If we're standing next to each other - I work in a bar - she always starts a conversation with me, or vise versa.

    I understand that there's not a lot to go on here because I don't really see her outside of work...but I cannot stop thinking about her! I know she's single but I'm certain that she is very straight. Part of me is scared to go there, but I also can't stop thinking "what if?". I really like her! I just need an outsiders input, is it worth looking into?
     
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  2. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Bang her.

    If you're not afraid to try something with a coworker, why not just keep chatting her up? Right now you don't have a lot to go on, but if you slowly wade into the flirting pool you will get more information.

    If you want to make a move, just do it. All this overthinking does not help.
     
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  3. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member

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    Call me old fashioned...

    What you're doing already is good. Keep her talking, get to know her better, work out her sexual orientation.
     
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  4. SMD

    SMD Member

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    I've seen you guys comment on a few of the threads on here , you're like the agony aunts of the lesbian world! I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to reply to my thread in particular!

    The fact that I only see her in work makes it so much harder because that's the only opportunity I have to talk to her - I only work on weekends.

    I worked with her on Sunday and it was the same old story. We exchanged a few smiles and again, she seemed to be looking at me a lot. My mates came to see me at one point, and they even made a comment about how much she was looking over at us.

    Her ex boyfriend came in later on in the night and was giving her abuse about something. I was too busy at this point to stop and listen to it all, but she came and saw me afterwards and she seemed really upset. It was surprising how open she was about her relationship, considering we're not that close. Anyway, he made comments about how she was punching above her weight with him and she genuinely seemed upset about it. It was horrible! She said how all the boys she's dated in the past have been dicks. I tried my best to cheer her up but it was a lost cause, I think. After that we didn't really speak much, she kind of kept herself to herself.

    But I think we can only assume that she's straight after all that, right?
     
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  5. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Why assume she is straight? She could be bi. Hell, I used to date guys (but not dicks).

    She wanted comfort and reassure from you 'anyone would be lucky to have you, that guy is a stupid tool to not see how awesome you are.' It's not to late to say that, you can say it next time you see her.

    And find something to do outside of work. A party, a concert you gals will like- something. Not a date per se, but 'my friends and I were gonna see Brandi Carlille, wanna come?' It's a way to get to know her better and to - get her number.
     
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  6. SMD

    SMD Member

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    I don't really know, she just doesn't strike me as someone who would be with a woman. They're all proper girly girls in my work who are always talking about the men they fancy - she's no exception. I've just never heard her say anything about being attracted to a woman - then again that could be down to the fact that I don't spend a lot of time with her.

    Oh believe me, I was quick to reassure her and tell her how much of a douche that guy was!!

    That's a good idea Bluenote, thank you for your help! :)
     
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  7. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    I was a "proper girly girl"....and never discussed my innermost thoughts or proclivities....until I wound up at a gay bar...oh, and I'm married to a woman. Infer from that what you will.
     
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  8. rac

    rac Well-Known Member

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    I think she gave you an opening when she told you about the ex-bf. Maybe ask her what the deal is next time you see her. Maybe tell her she can talk to you about it if she wants. Over coffee maybe... After work. ;)
     
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  9. SMD

    SMD Member

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    Sorry it sounded like I was implying that there are no gay girly girls...but I assure you, I was not! That has given me hope Spygirl, thank you!

    I told her that she could talk to me about it anytime...I added her on Facebook and she messaged me asking if I could work this weekend. Unfortunately I cannot which means I won't be seeing her for a while. I asked her if everything was okay and if she'd spoken to her ex since Sunday though. She has not. At least I have other means of talking to her now, right?

    I don't think I'm quite ready to ask her out for coffee just yet rac, maybe I'll pluck up the courage at some point, in the near future haha!
     
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  10. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    She was in an abusive relationship and the ex is not content with being an ex and came over for more target practice. I hope she is okay. Don't know about you, I am not sure if I witness someone that situation, she'd be anything but someone who just needs an understanding friend. A woman who is going through that can sure benefit from a movie night and home made popcorn. If you see her as a co-worker to cheer up, then maybe you can see beyond this crush and actually get to know the person a little without sweaty palms and strings and decisions to make about whether or not to pursue something. I think it is great that you are fb friends and you are checking on her to see if she is ok.
     
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  11. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    Talking to her and being a friend doesn't have to be implied to mean more than it does. Use this to your advantage -- if, after you talk to her more and get to know her, you're convinced she's not into you..then ok...but until then, there are levels here...

    Baby steps....
     
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  12. rac

    rac Well-Known Member

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    Well, it sounds like you are going in the right direction. I agree, be friends with her first and see where it goes.

    And asking her if she wants coffee after work is not exactly asking her if she wants to go on a date. Think of it as having a conversation over coffee with a friend. A friend you want to date eventually but right now is just a friend. So be a friend and ask her if she wants coffee. Like @Spygirl said, baby steps...
     
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  13. SMD

    SMD Member

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    Okay, I'll take what y'all are saying and settle for her friendship for now. It'll be cool to get to know her better instead of rushing into it and telling her how I feel, which could have a negative affect in the long run!

    We haven't stopped talking since I asked her about her ex, which is nice. Admittedly it's little forced at the moment, a lot of small talk but it's a baby step in the right direction, right?

    Thank you guys for all your advice! I really appreciate it and just talking to people about it has helped so much, instead of overthinking it in my head!
     
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