What kind of lesbian would you call me and what kind of women do I attract?

Discussion in 'Advice on Meeting Women' started by Cappug, May 9, 2015.

  1. Cappug

    Cappug Member

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    OK, here are some things about me. Tell me does it sound butch of femme or whatever. I mostly don't give a crap about labels but so often online someone asks what kind are you and I'm like "uh... versatile? all over the place..."

    I have never in my life liked wearing skirts. the shorter it is the further away I want to be from it. too "easy access" for my taste.

    I mostly dress in jeans, tee and a hoodie -combo, but I'd like to be more formal at work. I love button-down shirts but I can never wear them because my boobs are too big.

    I'm most at home in cargo pants. I just love a good pair of cargo pants. they can't be too baggy. I like it when they fit well on the hips. that makes me feel all sexy. add some Latin music and I couldn't reign in these hips even if I tried. :p I like wearing cargo pants and I think they're the sexiest thing anyone could wear. I went back to school and there were some carpenter students next door and they wore white cargo pants as work clothes. I just loved that we had lunch at the same time and my head was spinning the rest of the day. :D

    I guess some people judge a woman by her shoes... I don't own a closet full of them. Five pairs at max. I use them until they fall apart when I really find a pair I like. When I was younger I liked shoes that had some height to them. mostly because I'm a bit to the short side and they made me walk sexier. I didn't like the really fragile looking ones. I was more into having a firm footing. Now days I'm not so into wearing heels anymore. I sprained my ankles a couple of times and they didn't heal really well. I'd say I still like to have a firm footing. sneakers and hikers are nice and comfy to walk in and speedy when needed. I don't like the chucks-kinda shoes. too flat for my taste. My feet get sore in them. I'm in the lookout for more official looking flat shoes that I could wear at an office job, but they still need to be comfortable. Any tips?

    People tell me my legs are my best feature but I don't like to show them off. In summertime I still love my damn cargo pants but sometimes opt for capri-length yoga pants or stuff like that.

    I've always had long hair but that can be mostly out of habit. All my life I've wanted to try out having really short hair but my hair is very fair and it makes it look thin so I fear people will see my scalp if I cut it too short. I love curls but I'm not really into spending a long time making myself look pretty so I have had some perms in my lifetime. they actually fit me really well but I don't like to spend too much money on my looks so I only do it once a year at best. My natural hair color is brown with a hint of red. I like to dye it couple times a year to make it look a little more lively. I love red hair so I often go for the natural looking red dyes. no shock colors for me. though, I've fantasized if I ever got that short hair I might want to dye two stripes on one side, blue and purple. I like to use as little hair and skin products as possible and not stress my hair and skin too much with stuff like that.

    now if you read that last bulk of letters properly, you don't wonder why I don't do make up. also, my eyes water very easily so if I do try make up or let my friends do some on me, I end up with wet puffy eyes for the night. very attractive. harhar. I'm not saying I'm beautiful or anything but I feel when I'm getting ready to go out it's enough if I've showered recently and have clean clothes on. I cut my nails about every ten days and file them so they aren't too scratchy. I plug my eye brows when I remember but I like to keep them as natural as possible. I shave my legs and pits once a week so I'm not a totally unkept ape person.

    People tell me I have amazing eyes but I feel naked when people look into them so I usually look away. When I'm trying to be more sociable I have to dare myself to look someone in the eye and then I come off super flirty. I guess it looks like I'm daring them into something. My lips are a decent shape and size I guess. I only use lip gloss when they're dry but people think I sometimes put on lipstick because my lips react really easily on spices and stuff. I blush easily. I have high cheek bones. I like to joke that I'm about as straight as my nose, which happens to be slightly tilted to the left. lol

    So what do I look like in your mind now and would you be attracted?
     
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  2. Avatar Korra

    Avatar Korra Member

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    that's a lot of detail so i haven't read everything
    look woman, be however you want, for some you won't be attractive, for others you will be, either is about clothes, character or the way you eat your food
    if you want to make any change, do it because you don't feel alright or you want something new, not because some buttface who spits between the teeth while talking and farts while eating, told you she's not attracted by certain things that you do
     
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  3. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

    The best thing you can do is not be concerned with labels..butch, femme, whatever. And just be YOU. Be comfortable in your own skin and don't get caught up in trying to define yourself by someone else's perception of what/who you are. Trust me...at times in my life, I've been uber girl and uber tomboyish...it all depended upon my mood, time of life, etc.

    You sound like you're mostly confident in who you are and confidence will attract my attention more than the clothes someone wears. Attitude is everything :)
     
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  4. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    You're 33 and you haven't sorted if other people see you as butch or femme? Did you come out recently? Do you not have many gay friends?

    I'm not saying the above as judgement- I'm legit trying to figure out where you are at.

    Because if you don't have gay friends and a connection to the gay community, I recommend that you get it. Even more than dating or figure out what people would label you.

    Personally, I agree that I'm not big on labels. But I understand how they are useful. Some people are only attracted to butches, or femmes or sporty types. And some people are attracted to lots of women, but are not into one kind, such as butches or femmes. Just like some people are only into blondes, or tall women. So in those circumstances, I see labels as helpful. There also are shades of gray: soft butch, soft femme, a little bit tomboy, etc...

    I have no idea what you are, as you haven't given enough of the right information. For me butch or femme is a lot about body language and attitude around other women. A butch can put on a dress, but will still walk like a dude and hold open doors for women.

    For the record I'm a tomboy and have been consistently through my life.
     
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  5. pikatan2

    pikatan2 Well-Known Member

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    hmmm stem??? I'm not sure :D since I cnt label myself either bahahahah

    but I get labeled as lesbian a lot by people, eventho I'm not (not that I'm offended by it)
    and I do think label help people to understand better but it shouldn't define what a person is :D

    xx
    Tan
     
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  6. Deebo

    Deebo New Member

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    Yes, but your lack of confidence in yourself makes me want to say no...? It's not my job to tell you what to wear or how to act it's yours. It's my job however; to enjoy you as you are. Take it or leave as Rent has sang it.
     
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  7. Cappug

    Cappug Member

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    I'm not asking for anyone's permission to be or wear anything. I'm just wondering what to put on the forms on dating sites :D Of course I'm a bit interested to know who would be attracted to me looking the way I look. I myself am attracted to many kinds of women but maybe some people are more superficial or read more into a person by their appearance. My appearance can vary a lot depending on my mood. I also might look like a girly girl but I can lift heavy things if needed and I also have a little thing called hero complex. lol. Am I winning heart left and right yet? :p I only want to win one but friends all over the Globe are welcome :)
     
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  8. Deebo

    Deebo New Member

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    That's a statistic result you're going to have to gather yourself. Try different things to see what kind of result you get.
     
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  9. sundancer

    sundancer Well-Known Member

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    How about reading a list of description and sees what resonates the most for you?
     
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  10. Eloise

    Eloise Well-Known Member

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    Butch and femme can be more a state of mind than just a way of dress. You have to decide for yourself which way you feel or how you are in relationships.

    Now, for the hair. When you cut it short hair lifts up. Long hair gets weighed down. Therefore, you're less likely to see your scalp with short hair. Especially if you have some layers cut into it. If you hate the cut it'll always grow back.
     
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  11. Cappug

    Cappug Member

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    I know what I am and I'm comfortable with myself. I was just wondering how others might see me and what boxes I should check on a dating app. That's all. :D I don't want to find myself accused of lying on that dreaded thing.

    To BlueNote: I came out publicly when I was 29. I always knew I saw the female body more sexy and beautiful than the male body, but I thought it was normal. I kissed a couple of friends around 22 but that was in bars and they just did it to turn on guys. I was 24 when I actually came to peace with myself but I still couldn't tell anyone because I was in a committed relationship and I figured I'd just never get to be with a girl so I just called myself bi-curious. Of course now I know sexuality is who you are attracted to not who you've been with so I guess I was always Bi. Or more like Pan. I was in a common-law marriage with the father of my kids twice in a 10 years of time before that was over and I was free to really be me. We were engaged twice but we never really made any effort to get married. Now I realize I could never see myself in a traditional marriage. Now I know if I will ever get married, it will be to a woman or a trans person. I'm pretty much done with men. Maybe I was with them only because of the way I grew up. Small (gossip) town and surrounded by very narrow minded people. Things aren't much better in the town that I've lived the past 14 years in, but in the past 4 years I've managed to find a small group of LGTB people in my area. Mostly lesbians. I've had a little something with a couple of women now. I'm not a complete novice. I don't like to kiss and tell but the first woman I was with wouldn't believe she was my first. I guess I'm a natural then. ;) I feel good in my own skin now.
     
    #11

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