What happens now? Do I try forget about it?

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by Bringmesunshine, Mar 4, 2019.

  1. Bringmesunshine

    Bringmesunshine New Member

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    So I'm a single gay woman and I got speaking to this older woman last week. I didn't think much to it at first, just having a nice chat.. But then the conversation between us suddenly became very intense which I have never really experienced before. Speaking everyday all day/night for a whole week. Telling each other how amazing,sweet etc one another are. We were so into each other that we decided to meet at the weekend.
    So, we met Sunday, I jumped into her car and we drove off.. then all of a sudden she started becoming very anxious and nervous/shy. I knew she was somewhat shy as she had told me before but I told her I would try and ease the situation. Anyway, we got so far (we were meant to go to hers) and she asked if we could turn back round and take me home..
    So I did and she apologised alot to me saying that she felt so overwhelmed and didn't realise we would get on so well.. And that she doesn't think she was ready for the next step yet. So my feelings are quite strong for her, I can't seem to get her out of my head. I have told her I like her etc but at the same time I am giving her space. But I don't know what to do now? Will she ever be ready? Or is she just telling me nicely it's not going to work?
     
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  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    I would give her some time. I don't know, I usually like someone who can match my intensity or it is not worth it. I would just remind her just to be nice that you are here and just giving her space so she knows you are not mad at her. But I suspect such interactions rarely end well. I am sorry.
     
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  3. Bringmesunshine

    Bringmesunshine New Member

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    I just need to add this was her first 'date' in 4 years and she felt super overwhelmed by it all because she thought she was ready but obviously wasn't. So in a way I feel I've been played, she has apologised alot to me and I've been very understanding. I'm trying to back off a little but she seems to message me first everyday so I do reply and we end up speaking all day. Though the conversation has changed and it's mainly 'how our day is' rather than the amazing intense conversation we were having a week ago.
    I'm just confused and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm tip-toeing around her..
     
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  4. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    I have had a friendship years ago with a straight woman, and we were having very interesting conversations. Well, it did not work out because I guess I was too intense. The friendship did not last long but I guess the connections felt so great that I became quite forlorn that we could not talk anymore. She then came back and apologized and said she was just scared to talk like that with anyone. I was happy to talk to her again but a friend of mine said, "You sure, when someone is that skittish, you want to try to pick up where you left off?" Sure enough, she disappeared all together from my life a month later. The truth is, I must have liked her more than she liked me and it hurt for a while.

    This was someone I was not thinking of dating. I cannot imagine in your situation what a let down that must have been. What you described, her coming back and the conversation is not the same anymore felt like what my ex friend did. I could be projecting but you are giving her quite a chance to do this to you again.

    As far as you tip-toeing around her that should be the last nail into this decision making. Someone you are trying to date surely should not invoke anything like that with you. You two simply can't have enough history in this nascent connection to get into triggers already?

    I have learned from my short-lived friendship if someone wants the same kind of relationship with you will be with you despite of fears. What she wants with you is not satisfying to you and does not let you be yourself. Why stay?
     
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  5. Writer23

    Writer23 Member

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    Hi Bringmesunshine,

    It is very possible that you are her first real anything with a woman, and when you two met, it become too real for her in the moment. It is possible that she fantasized about having romantic interactions or flirtations with women, yet she has never acted on it in any way. If she is older, she, more than likely, has an outer image of herself that she is pleased with and does not want to disrupt for fear of what others around her might think and feel. In short, she is more than likely afraid of being rejected by loves ones. However, she is still attracted to women. It sounds as if she is apprehensive about exploring that side of herself, so give her time, let her know that you are there, and live your life. Let her come to you. Do not go to her. If it is real, she will, in time, come to you. If not, it was not meant to be.

    Writer
     
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