What does a lesbian woman like?

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by Lady Godiva, Feb 8, 2016.

  1. Lady Godiva

    Lady Godiva Active Member

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    A lesbian girl, who wants to be FTM, will she date straight women after that step or still lesbians? I mean, if this girl is dating lesbians since ever now, is she to be considered as what? I mean, I am just trying to understand things as I don't know much.
     
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    Last edited: Feb 8, 2016
  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Sexuality and sexual identity are two different things.

    A person likes what a person likes in terms of friends and companion and identifies with what she or he identifies with. All anyone can do is respect her/his feelings and choices. I hope that helps.

    Edited ;)
     
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    Last edited: Feb 8, 2016
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  3. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    @greylin has it exactly. Sexual identity and gender identity are two different things. Also, who we are attracted to isn't as general as 'all women, or all men.'

    Some lesbians like all women, some only date butches, or femmes, or older women, etc...

    Strangers can't sit here and say 'well, all FTMs are like this' anymore than they can say 'all lesbians are like this' because individuals are all a little different.

    Honestly, the best person to ask is the FTM in question.
     
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  4. lorienczhiu

    lorienczhiu Well-Known Member

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    I think practically it has less to do with their preference than the acceptance/preferance of their potential partners. Lots of trans men who formerly identified as lesbians continue to date queer women, because they are more comfortable with their identities/bodies/presentations etc (though that's not universal). Some trans men prefer to identify as straight after transition, or drop the "trans" label; others continue to identify as queer.

    If you are interested in someone who is transitioning, the best thing to do is exactly what Bluenote advises: ask them directly.

    Also, just a language note: if this person has made it known to you that they want to transition/are trans, it is a good idea to ask them what pronouns and descriptors they want to use. They may no longer feel comfortable being referred to as "a girl" or by "she/her," or even by gender specific words like "lesbian." (This is why I'm using singular "they" throughout this comment.) On the other hand, some trans people (like Caitlyn Jenner) prefer to only use new names/pronouns after some kind of affirming medical or legal step. For many trans people, being misgendered or deadnamed (called by their birth name after they have chosen a new one) can be very upsetting, destabilizing, or offensive.
     
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  5. Lady Godiva

    Lady Godiva Active Member

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    Thanks dear! This person has a name which can suit both genders, so as far as we use this name, we are not wrong. I guess.. As for this peculiar moment, OK, I will ask. Even 'cause I am not that practical at all in this "environment".
     
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