We graduated college and now hang out more...is it more then friends?

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by cheval_amant, Mar 8, 2015.

  1. cheval_amant

    cheval_amant Member

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    Hi ladies! Thanks for stopping by.

    I've recently been a bit stumped at whether my feelings were clouding my judgments in observation (does she like me cues) or not. Y'all know the struggle! Please help a sister out :)

    I'm going to bullet point basic back story facts and keep it as simple as possible.

    1) We both studied in the same dept. in undergrad and graduated together
    2) In the past we've had classes together but were really only "at school" friends...you know where you don't hang out outside of school?
    3) She's always complimented my accomplishments/abilities/ethics even before I've noticed something possibly being more.

    Since graduating last summer we've both taken on very big important big girl jobs. 9-5/weekdays - yay adulthood! I actually work at the college we studied at so there's already a common thread for us mutually to see each other. Sidenote* (We're both artists who regularly use the dept. and facilities).

    Ok still writing as briefly as possible and sticking to all things relevant :)

    Ahem!
    About a month ago we ran into each other unexpectedly 3 times in the time span of a week. The campus had been remodeled and we'd been gushing over that and old times/being grown ups. (We're both 24 haha)
    I invited her to an art gallery walk and we grabbed burgers, drank beer and talked life. She had given me my very own ink from the art supply store she's working at before we met up that day. You know when you're friends with someone for awhile but then all of sudden as you actually hang out you notice how adorable they are?... Well it struck me that evening: as we shared my umbrella to get out of the rain, she mentioned how much of a "great team" we are together. A mutual acknowledgment of our strong connection ensued! And since, we've been hanging out 1-2 times a week.

    We've never hung out this much until recently!

    What surprised me most in our interactions is that now I'm aware of my feelings for her growing into something more, I'm also aware of how many facts she remembers about me. Granted we never hung out in undergrad- just at school or in the art studio.

    Quick facts: (OMG this is getting longer then expected time for bullet points)

    -She had a bf back in the day/they've since broke up a year+ ago
    -she knows I'm gay
    -I came out to her through some class mini discussion we had about difficult times in high school
    -she's very pro equal everything and accepts anyone and everyone
    -she believes sexuality is a continuum but has not clearly or directly told me she's gay/straight/bi/whatever

    She'll do things that I think means she's going out of her way in efforts towards hinting at me that she too feels something... For instance! (gotta love bullet points/thanks buzz feed)

    -She remembers everything I've said ever
    -Seriously: I was working out hard core recently and she told me I inspired her to do squats the other day
    -She told me what she thought of a movie I suggested she see over a year ago and had the exact details of her critique of it down to every last detail
    -She bought/read a book from an author I recommended she read and told me she did/how much she loved it (within a week's time) I only suggest the author not even a specific title
    (Ps don't worry I'm watching a tv show she recommended religiously to click with her cute tv show references/aaaand because I remind her of one of the characters)
    -I'm also a horse person: I recently introduced her to the horse world and my trainers and she was a wonderful sport doing things with me and the horses to the point that now barn trips are turning regular and she wants to take up riding lessons (I've been instructed to ask my trainer :))

    As I list these I want to say that wow it's obvious but y'all know how easy it is to think based on your feelings and wants!

    Few more recent facts!

    -When we hang out around mutual friends that happen to be around and she runs off to do something with them like an errand or quick coffee she checks in with me.. She went from saying "I'm going be back soon"... To asking for permission "That okay with you? Hope you don't mind. I'll be back soon promise."
    -We're collaborating in artwork together and she's having me help her learn to draw. We went to an art supply shop yesterday and I just realized now how she purchased the tools I use and had me there to help her learn how to use them.

    Yesterday pushed me to finally investigate more cause things felt like they finally pushed into a new level.

    We've both been busy with work recently and we couldn't hang out a few evenings ago. She told me one on one yesterday how she's really sorry she's been so busy and wants to hang out with me. I told her how much I understand and that I have the same busy seasons as she does we're just different seasons of busy. She promised me next weekend for more studio time together/a trip to the barn and taking me out to lunch.
    Did I mention I'm already taking her and I to the movies in a few weeks for a special screening we both are dying to see? I got her our tickets/she knows/it's set.
    Aaaaand I may have made her a mix cd of songs she wanted me to recommend from an artist I love-personalized the whole thing and called it her belated bday gift. She's already said she's planning to go all out on my bday.

    I see that I've written a novel. Any perspective would be appreciated I want to make sure I'm not looking with just my desires towards her and have that clouding my judgment. To be honest my heart fluttered when we talked really closely yesterday about how she's trying to see me more. And she even said she hopes it's not annoying when her friend's and people she knows distracts from our one on one plans. I made sure to tell her that I don't mind at all I'm just happy to see her. I said "If it annoyed me I wouldn't hang out with you."
    A few more cute things because obviously the more details the better.!

    She's very outgoing and friendly, I love this energy about her, she gets extra talkative and excited around me and dominates the conversation and talks over me by accident a lot. It's cute because she finally apologized and admitted she does this and tells me she's noticed I get quiet and really shy when she does that. I blushed yesterday telling her I don't mind and there'll be times I talk more but that I like the balance with her. She just laughed and told me how I was being shy right then and there.
    We hug a lot I haven't really tried the trick them into holding hand maneuver I'm the more hands on person already. I've done the subtle hand on their shoulder mini gestures, she's got the enthusiasm to match it.
    And yesterday was also a turning point because she encouraged me to get back to an art making method I used to do more of and when I finally got in my groove she kept telling me how happy it made her to see me like that. And even asked me if it was okay or weird that that happening to me made her so happy. I told her it's very nice and not weird at all.

    She makes me speechless and shy guys- I don't get shy.
    Even as I write this (novel I know) I feel like it's mutual but is doing it's own natural progression. It's amazing to me how when you finally notice your feelings for some grow, how you then are aware of everything they do and everything they're aware of with you. She remembers stuff about me I don't even remember, says my name constantly when we're together, smiles, laughs a lot too. The classic signs are there she just feels as shy as I am but in her own way.

    Thanks for reading y'all don't know how much I appreciate it.
     
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  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member

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    It all sounds very promising :) Having fun and hanging out and taking interest in each others' interests, the only thing that needs to be worked out is whether she's is interested in dating girls. Don't worry about too much it all seems to be heading in a good direction, I know it sounds a little mad but try not to over think too much. As soon as you start second guessing her is when mistakes and mishaps could happen.
     
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  3. cheval_amant

    cheval_amant Member

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    Nancy,

    Definitely a good reminder! It's so easy to overthink these things and it's so important to get out of your own head. And I guess just living in the moment and enjoy what's actually happening without so much anticipation and wondering if! Reassurance of what signs might mean can be a tool as a basic indicator but still doesn't guarantee the outcome. I appreciate your kind words, thank you!
     
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  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member

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    You're very welcome.
     
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  5. cheval_amant

    cheval_amant Member

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    Extra facts:

    When I asked her if I should cut my hair shorter again (since I'm thinking of growing it out) she told me it looks really good short. Then reminded me of a time our mutual professor (this professor is everyone's grandma practically) commented on my hair.
    This was a year ago mind you...!!!
    She said, "Remember when you cut your hair really short that one time and you walked into class and she stopped lecturing and said there that's it, good Morgan, nice hair." Then she told me it fits me.

    Have I also mentioned that she says I remind her of Ellen Degeneres? Because of my nature?

    And on our last trip to the barn a woman kept saying I reminded her of a French actress. My friend/crush I'm talking about in this thread was trying really hard to figure out who it was.

    I've been meaning to compliment her more obviously lately, like her eyes...? The shyness and speechlessness is throwing me I'm trying really hard to say more things when we're together about HOW I ENJOY BEING AROUND HER.

    This stuff isn't science I realize, ya gotta just feel it out and go with the flow. Just haven't really had that many someone's be so attentive with me and so caring and I actually have feelings for them too!

    At the end of our hang out yesterday she kept saying how happy it made her that I was making artwork again like I used to. I thanked her for that encouragement and even said how "I know I don't really say much about these things but I really had a nice time with you and enjoy spending time with you." She gave me the same here/we'll hang out next weekend.

    Feels like we're definitely in mutual admiration, like a strong friendship, just going with the flow and seeing if she's also been thinking of something more.
     
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  6. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Did you used to be "Printmaker" on the old AE?

    Yes, it seems like she likes you. It's not so much one thing, but the whole list together. Trying to spend time only with you, asking if its ok when she steps away with other friends, hinting about spending time together, talking about you guys connection.

    Things seem to be progressing natural, so I say go for it. I think you can take it slow, just ramp up the physical affection. But don't fall into the drunken make out trap.

    She may not talk about her sexuality, because she may not know. She may be somewhere between gay and straight, but still sorting it all out. She doesn't seem closeted, or deeply conflicted.

    One red flag I see is her trying to be so much like you. The urge to merge is very lesbian, but it's not always healthy. It's great to share common intresets, it's not great to be 24-7 wraped up in each other. You need some things that are just yours.

    Good luck and keep us posted.
     
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  7. cheval_amant

    cheval_amant Member

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    Wow that makes sense in your observation of the red flag. I understand too that when people like each other there's the tendency to want to do everything the other does...maybe that's her way of showing me she likes me?
    Especially during the beginning it's exciting to spend a lot of time together. On the plus side we don't text super often, it's mostly used to make plans which definitely makes for more quality time when we're together.

    Good point and I appreciate your perspective and thoughts!

    I'll definitely keep y'all posted.

    And don't worry, sober affectionate efforts only :) I care about her too much to let this be a fling of effort.
     
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