Was I in the wrong

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by DottyDoes, May 20, 2014.

  1. DottyDoes

    DottyDoes Member

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    So I was dating this girl for about two weeks. Everything was going great, We were connecting pretty well. My birthday was coming up which she even helped plan for. Then the last few days before my birthday she had been started acting very dry. I wasn't sure what was going on. Theres way more to this story but I don't really feel like typing. but here is what happened:

    My birthday came. Me, her, and some friends were suppose to go out to eat and then go to a hookah bar. Instead, the day comes and she doesn't text me, call me, or anything all day until about 5pm. 2 hours before my bday plans were gonna take place. She don't wish my happy birthday she just says "hey". By this time I was upset because I wanted to hear from her the most. I'm at the moment visiting my grandpa who is very old and I'm helping my uncle dress him so I wasn't texting back with enthusiasm. I said "hi". She says "wyd". I say "visiting my grandpa". She says "oh okay cool". I say "yeah". Shes like "whats wrong with you!" I said "I was in the middle of helping my grandpa get dressed. Calm down". then I say sarcastically "Thanks for the birthday wish". She says "Nobody needs to calm down" and then she says "I don't know what is wrong with you, but I didn't do nothing to you. Don't come at me like that." I just said "Ok." because I don't understand how she didn't catch why I'm mad. she says "Ok. Enjoy your birthday". She doesn't show up to my birthday celebration. I was gonna give HER a gift for my birthday and ask her to be my girlfriend officially. She knew that.

    I just want to know was I wrong in this situation. Should I have not been mad at her. I'm pretty sure I could have gone about it in a different way, but did I have the right to be mad. She is definitely the type of person to be mad at me if I did that to her She got mad at me one night for not calling her so i can only imagine if I didn't acknowledge her on her birthday.

    I sent her an apology the next morning for "coming at her" and I told he we should probably end it between us because I can tell our relationship would def have problems. but I do still like her and I was hoping she'd have something good to say to keep it going between us. but She didn't reply at all.
     
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  2. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    Two weeks is not a long time to be dating someone, and it seems that she went "cold" and "dry" and distant for a reason -- maybe she's just not into you the way you're into her? I'm sorry to break it to you so bluntly, but actions speak a lot more than words.

    Then your birthday comes...and she helped in the planning....and you describe it like this:

    Instead, the day comes and she doesn't text me, call me, or anything all day until about 5pm. 2 hours before my bday plans were gonna take place. She don't wish my happy birthday she just says "hey".

    That doesn't sound to me like someone who's very concerned about making sure your birthday's great, does it? And then to turn everything around and be mad at YOU? She's projecting. She's looking for an excuse to pin the blame on you because she didn't have the guts to be honest with you in the first place. If you like someone and enjoy spending time with that person, then that's what you do. My .02 tells me she wasn't ready to be your girlfriend..and if she knew you were going to ask her, then it's likely she was trying (consciously or not) to stop it before it began.

    From what you've typed, you've done nothing wrong.
     
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  3. deaddance

    deaddance Active Member

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    Okay so first thing: Commit to your decisions.
    If you want to break up with her, do it; don't use the word "probably".
    If you want to stay with her, endure it.
    My opinion? She sounds selfish, manipulative and she holds all the cards.
    No one deserves to be treated so horribly on their birthday, it's the one day in a year that you are allowed to feel special.
    You were not in the wrong, in fact you reacted normally. You would be in the wrong if you continued trying with this person with your same expectations, because this is a person that will never be able to meet them with you.
     
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