Want to have 3some with my ex and her new fling.

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by CLC2020, Nov 26, 2014.

?

To 3some or not to 3some?

  1. Yes

    20.0%
  2. No

    70.0%
  3. With someone else

    10.0%
  1. CLC2020

    CLC2020 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2014
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    So, my ex and I were in a tumultuous relationship for over 4 years. The last year of the relationship we lived together as 'friends.' umm...yeah, purgatory. I am bi. She is lesbian. It was her first relationship and my first same-sex relationship. I wanted to have an exploratory/physical relationship and she wanted more. I agreed. Now, its 4 years later and we finally get our own apartments. Within 2 weeks of me moving into my new place she tells me she is hooking up with a classmate, but Its not a committed relationship. She's just have amazing sex and it better sex than we had...

    1) Thats the relationship I wanted the whole time.
    2) I've been really depressed because I tried to make it work and sacrificed a lot for the relationship.
    3) I agree we had a very boring sex life. Now, I also want to have that fun exploratory sex I was looking for 4 years ago.

    The predicament: My ex always seemed like a prude, but she seems to have come out of her shell. Do I try to have a threesome with her considering she's in this new open relationship? Or do I not risk my potential hurt feelings of being turned down and/or whatever feelings come up during the act? Lastly, am I being that crazy ex!? NO!
     
    #1
  2. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Messages:
    1,390
    Likes Received:
    1,489
    Why the [email protected] would you do that to yourself?
    Block her number, unfriend her on Facebook and go join a freaking dating website.
    She is not the only gay girl in the world. Go find someone to have hot, steamy sex with that will not wind up screwing with your head and breaking your heart.
     
    #2
    CLC2020, Spygirl, Nancy and 1 other person like this.
  3. Narley

    Narley Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2014
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    134
    I agree with bluenote! Stay away from the Ex in this instance, go find someone with the same relationship expectations as yourself. Besides, she could be exaggerating, or if not... some people expect more when having sex than others. Her version of good could be very different from yours.
     
    #3
    CLC2020 likes this.
  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2013
    Messages:
    1,504
    Likes Received:
    618
    Short answer: No
    Long answer: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    Move on, find someone who fits to what you want not someone that you have to fit around. Put yourself first and make your own happiness your priority.
     
    #4
    CLC2020, tetetar, Narley and 2 others like this.
  5. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2013
    Messages:
    938
    Likes Received:
    188
    Jesus wept! Woman. Where did you get that idea from? First off, more than likely, if she had crap sex with you then, she will have crap sex with you now. The combination of you two didn't work for what ever reason...chemistry or a combination of your dynamic that made you incompatible. If she is having great sex with new girl, good for her (but crap of her to tell you..bitmean.com). Anyway, if she was goading you it obviously worked, cause here you are entertaining this daft idea. If you are after some good sex, why keep flogging the same dead horse (I'm slightly uncomfortable with that analogy, but will plough on...)? Move on, find a different girl/girls. Persistence doesn't always work in relationships. Sometimes giving up is not losing, it's winning. You moving on from that car crash of a relationship or whatever it was...and finding someone better is the wining choice for you.
     
    #5
    CLC2020, Eloise, invincible and 4 others like this.
  6. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2013
    Messages:
    743
    Likes Received:
    1,058
    WHOA! I'm just going to put it out there. In addition to agreeing with what Moses and Bluenote said...I just sat here, face palmed myself, and thought...where in the world do you get off thinking that she'd remotely want to have a threesome with you??!! That's pretty arrogant and assuming on your part to even bring the idea up with her. YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS OVER. It ended for a reason. Great that the two of you can still be friends...and that she feels like she can talk to you....however, the fact that she's having great mind-blowing sex with someone else doesn't mean that she's even slightly entertaining the idea of having sex with you. Moreover, not being in a committed relationship doesn't automatically mean she'd want to participate in a threesome (which in my opinion opens up a whole new set of problems)...Open relationships don't always mean threesomes.

    Your logic -- or lack thereof -- is totally lost on me. Sorry to be blunt, but wake the f*ck up.

    You can find the relationship you want with someone else. It didn't work for you and your ex and there's probably reasons for that....including the fact that you acquiesced to being in a relationship with her when you, admittedly, wanted a different kind of relationship.

    Reap what you sow. Now move on.
     
    #6
    Eloise, Moses and Bluenote like this.
  7. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Messages:
    1,390
    Likes Received:
    1,489
    Thanks Moses, I'm gonna be muttering 'flogging the dead horse' and 'bitmean.com' all day now.
     
    #7
    greylin, Moses, Narley and 1 other person like this.
  8. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2013
    Messages:
    938
    Likes Received:
    188
    Teehee...I aim to please:-D
     
    #8
    Spygirl, Nancy and Bluenote like this.
  9. Kaiden

    Kaiden Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2014
    Messages:
    139
    Likes Received:
    44
    You go tiger! you got my vote yes
     
    #9
    Guppy likes this.
  10. crazy-one

    crazy-one Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2014
    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    5
    No, you shouldn't do that because you may end up watching those two and you don't need that. I voted for option 3
     
    #10
  11. invincible

    invincible Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2013
    Messages:
    395
    Likes Received:
    32
    The one that caught my attention was "Jesus wept! Woman." So funny I want to put it in my list of phrases to use.
     
    #11
    Spygirl and Bluenote like this.
  12. Eloise

    Eloise Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2013
    Messages:
    170
    Likes Received:
    168
    Did I miss the part where she invited you to join her and her new girlfriend? Because if not, you assume way too much. So, you just wanted a fuck-buddy but apparently she either did not know that when you got involved or thought you'd change your mind. Sometimes, we really like someone who only likes us for what they can get from us. She really liked you and you assumed that because you have been mostly into men, she would have no problem leaving her emotions at the front door like you do with women. Apparently, you still feel that way. Here's a news flash for you - lesbians like other women fully, emotionally as well as sexually. They don't have sex with other women for the hell of it. If your ex is telling she's only into her current gf for the sex it's probably a rebound relationship. The sex is highly emotional and will burn out quickly. Don't start a fuck-buddy relationship with someone unless you know ahead of time that it's all they want from you too.
     
    #12
    Nancy and Spygirl like this.
  13. Coffee Addict

    Coffee Addict Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2013
    Messages:
    125
    Likes Received:
    110
    If voting is what we are doing I would say you don't put tumultuous and threesome in the same sentence.
     
    #13
    Spygirl, Bluenote and Nancy like this.
  14. Guppy

    Guppy Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2013
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    6
    @CLC2020 so did you end up having the threesome?
    After reading your post I just want to clarify somethings. Please correct me if I am wrong. Okay so your the one that suggested the threesome to your ex? In that case, yeah tell her you want one but keep in mind this can go both ways. She would:
    A.) turn you down
    B.) say yes and may take it as:
    i.) take it more than what it is and wants to get back with you exclusively.
    ii.) it's just sex
    iii.) girl drama
    The biggest thing here is clear communication and tell her exactly what you want. An open relationship is already complicated. Why want more drama?
     
    #14

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice