I am 26, in the closet to everyone I know. I am fem at times but mostly a sport tomboy, I don't actively seek out relationships with men, haven't dated a man in almost 2 years. I know people are starting to figure it out because of their comments and things. It's getting to the point where it must be a little obvious to some members of my family. For example, back when everyone was turning their fb profiles to a rainbow, I turned mine. My sister was later talking to me and she said that she would turn hers rainbow "if she knew someone personally who was gay that she wanted to support..." followed by a brief awkward pause and then I said something about how I didn't know anyone but am still giving support. Just this last saturday I went to my cousins wedding. Her husband has a lot of good looking, athletic guy friends, that are single there. My aunt had me in a bear hug telling me to go over there and talk to them like my sister and other single cousin are... it was awkward, she was swinging me around. My mom was sitting behind us, speechless. My mom never pressures me to talk to or date men. This same aunt, probably around 6-8 months ago, told me she supports gay people, that her friend came out as lesbian after college and that she has a wife. talked very positively about her and that they somewhat keep in touch. if she didnt know then she probably figure it out at the wedding. I mean, Ill admit, all these men were good looking, but I made no effort to talk to them. At this same wedding, after the incident with my aunt, I was sitting at the table with some other family members. one of my cousins who is in high school was next to me, she gets out her phone and starts showing me her recent photos and things she did for school/gymnastics. Then she tells me she wants to show me a little project she did. She says "I started with a photo of a group of friends, one of the girls put her arm around the other girl but I dont know why, maybe she just did it... but I cropped them out and put them into various places around the world but I want you to see the quote at the end" The quote ended up saying something like, life is best spent with a female friend by your side.... the whole thing was two girls hugging in front of the sphinx, pyraminds, mountains etc... I told her it was a really nice video to make for her friends and she was making solid eye contact with me. she has to know. She's 16 and she is very smart. and im not stupid either, she has to know... why else would she say that to me. and she only showed it to me... (this conversation has been on my mind all since, and I have been bummed out all week. At work, people have been asking whats wrong a lot. And im just saying that "I am getting over it and I"ll be fine/don't want to talk about it". This whole thing is bringing me down. This closet is sure starting to feel cramped. ) And another time, idk what got us to this point but i also remember my mom saying that if any of her daughters turned out to be gay she would only be sad that they'd have to face more prejudice in their life but she'd love them the same always. recently my little sister put my cat up in the closet and then comes to tell me that "the cat wont get out of the closet." just cuz we do things like that as a joke but she said "wont get out of the closet" just too many times for me to not think it had deeper meaning... so obviously I am glad that I have members in my family who will be supportive, I don't think it'll be 100% support but it's looking good for when I decide to tell a few members in my family. Do others seem to wait until they've had a relationship to come out? ...I mean, ive been with men, and it really wasn't anything that i want to do again or even want to think about ever again. the first time I ever saw an erection I threw up in my mouth(really embarrassing story)... why do I feel like i have to experience a relationship to be able to come out. I am sure they're are some who knew they like women prior to a relationship just as there are that many who know they like men prior to sex. Part of me is thinking that this isn't something I can take back if I wanted to. its so official. but then does this mean i am more confused about my sexuality than I originally thought? It just doesn't seem confident that I am sitting here thinking I might need to take coming out back if I ever dated another man. Plus is it that stupid that I want to have sex prior to coming out or am I just using this as an excuse to not do the grown up thing and start coming out to people? My family is figuring it out, I should just consider going the honest route since they're figuring it out... Am I even making sense to anyone right now? I am basically looking for courage or advice or whatever input you want.