Urgent: New Years Eve Dilemma! Help!

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by smiles4miles, Dec 30, 2013.

  1. smiles4miles

    smiles4miles Active Member

    Jul 7, 2013
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    New years is 2 days away and I have a problem. So a bunch of my friends are getting together at one of my friend's houses and just having a casual gathering thing. However, since it's new years and we're probably gonna stay up until midnight and watch the ball drop, I was thinking about a new years kiss. One of my friends who is gonna be there is bi like me, and I was thinking that at midnight while everyone else gives each other check kisses that I would kiss her on the lips. This would give me my first kiss and first romantic experience with a woman (I've never had a relationship or any romantic encounter with anyone male or female before). But since I'm not officially out among my friends (though I've implied it a lot) I thought it might be weird and awkward to do in front of them. Both me and my other bi friend are very expressive, affectionate people who do tend to make a lot of sexual jokes and the whole group knows that about us. That's why I thought it might not be a big deal to do it. It's all really confusing because I'm not interested in this girl. She's pretty and really nice and funny but I would never want a relationship with her. I wouldn't want to lead her on, I just desperately want to have an experience like this and this seems like an opportunity for me. I would just want to kiss her for fun to see what it was like to do that. Almost all of my friends have had their first kisses and so many other romantic experiences and I feel so behind. So should I go for the kiss or not?
  2. Oxy

    Oxy Member

    Dec 28, 2013
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    Eh, I've been in a relationship and I've never made it to the NYE's kiss. Never been kissed under a mistletoe, neither (nor have I ever seen one, but I digress). Kissing...means differently to different people. What may be just a harmless gesture that will finally free you of your lip-virginity, it could mean something a bit deeper to her. If you really want to go through with it, then I would highly suggest you let her in on your plan. I don't know what kind of kiss you have in mind, but planting one on her at midnight doesn't sound like a good plan. Ask her how she feels about it before you go any further.
  3. lorienczhiu

    lorienczhiu Well-Known Member

    Jul 18, 2013
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    Reasons you should kiss someone:
    1) You like them and want to kiss them (to express love, affection, desire, interest, etc).
    End of list.

    Reasons you should not kiss someone:
    1) Because you're not attracted to them and don't want to lead them on. (What?)
    2) Because it's New Year's Eve (/your cousin's wedding/there's mistletoe).
    3) For "experience," to "catch up," punch your lady-kissing card, etc.

    I get that it sucks to feel left behind, but kissing someone who you are not actually into on NYE just because it's a socially acceptable opportunity to get your makeout on is at worst manipulative and at best selfish. Your friend might read waaaaay too much into it (and you'll be back in four days writing, "help, my friend thinks we're dating but I just wanted to kiss at midnight!"), or she might be angry that you ambushed her without actual interest and it will damage your friendship. The rest of your friends will talk about it all night, and your closet is going to dissolve (and not on your terms).

    And practically speaking: it's going to be an awful kiss. She's going to be surprised, and you might suffer a mishap (sloppiness, teeth bumping, accidental biting, whatever). She might NOT want to kiss you, and that will be embarrassing. You don't actually desire her, and kissing without attraction is usually pretty blah. So save your kiss for real butterflies, because it is going to be much more fun when you want the kiss AND the person you're kissing. I promise.
  4. MizzLadyPants

    MizzLadyPants Well-Known Member

    Oct 3, 2013
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    You know when I lost my virginity. It was to "get the experience"... because I felt I needed to get losing my virginity "out of the way".....

    I know that's a big leap. Lol

    But first kisses... first times etc. Will be much better If u don't try & force or plan it. Especially with a person your not romantically interested in.

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