Uncertainty about Sex- All womens' input need...

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by delockthenes, Oct 1, 2014.

  1. delockthenes

    delockthenes New Member

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    Hello everyone,

    Recently I have tried being honest with myself about some things- one of these things that I admitted to myself today is that I am terrified of the possibility of having sex.
    I have insecurities about:
    1.) the bumps and scars on my shoulders and a few on my chest (some "recent" and some older) from bad acne (p.s. has anyone tried BioOil for skin issues- if so did it work for you?)
    2). My flabby arms- they're bad-its genetic. And i've tried lifting weights and it didn't help much.
    3.)The fact that I am lacking the ability to be called graceful.
    4.)What facets about oral sex do women typically like- I feel like i definitely don't wanna just go down there and act like a dumb dumb.
    5.)Also the fact that I don't shave/wax myself- but keep it trimmed to like half an inch at the most.
    6.) My boobs- they're not perky and firm, they're not the worse, but they've also have some minor stretch marks.

    -Have you had to work through any of these insecurities with yourself or your partner?- How would you feel if you encountered any of these things with your partner?

    Seriously, if you have any valuable input please contribute. I don't want my insecurities to carryover into my relationship style- (relationships which are nonexistent right now because i'm afraid to be intimate with someone.)

    Please help a sista out. Much love.

    Also- I do have some positives working in my factor: 1.) I have amazing hair. 2.) I've been told I have a piercing and seductive gaze. how do you see these factoring in?
     
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  2. sundancer

    sundancer Well-Known Member

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    Re: Uncertainty about Sex- All womens' input ...

    You'll be fine! It doesn't need to be perfect - the both of you should just relax and enjoy yourselves. :D

    Your partner loves you for who you are on the inside, and if they are with you they probably think that you're hot to them.

    1) No, I don't have this problem. However, I used to date a girl who cut herself when she was in high school so badly that she can't actual form scars any more... if she cuts again she'll just bleed to death. I knew that, I still loved her anyway.

    2) Regular exercise is good for everyone. Just keep at it. :)

    3) Umm... just be yourself. :)

    4) It actually varies between different women... some women don't even like oral sex. Discuss before you do it.

    5) Doesn't matter, unless your partner specifically says something.

    6) Once again, your partner loves you for who you are.
     
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  3. Cricket

    Cricket Well-Known Member

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    Re: Uncertainty about Sex- All womens' input ...

    Only answering about an area that I really feel like I can provide some real advice:

    2). My flabby arms
    Genetically you have a predisposition to carry weight on your arms when you are carrying excess body fat. Eliminate the body fat, and the flab will go away. Weight loss and regular exercise. People give up too quickly but it can take years to develop significant muscle tone, especially in areas that you are genetically not naturally muscular. Lifting weights will not eliminate body fat. It WILL build muscle. What you might end up having are flabby muscular arms if you don't simultaneously lose weight.

    6. Breasts are body fat. Again, if you lose weight and exercise regularly, even this area can potentially tone up. It won't get rid of stretch marks, but seriously, who really cares about stretch marks anyway? :)
     
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