Tips on dating a single mom

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Falk08, Dec 27, 2013.

  1. Falk08

    Falk08 Well-Known Member

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    Okay I want to start off by saying I don't want to break up.

    So, my gf and I have been officially together 8 months (on New Years) more like 11 months though. She has a child with an ex who is still very in love with her. He was going to watch their child on NYE, something I was not expecting but pleasantly surprised about but now he can't (not his fault family/living arrangement issues). My gf and I have communicated at least a little about how frustrating it is to not be able to see each other as much as we'd like etc but there are just times when I get so upset and mad about it and find myself wishing she'd never had the kid. This is only made worse by the fact that she lives with family so I can't just go be with her and the kid very often.

    Basically I want some advice on not taking this so personally and dealing with this all better.
     
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  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    I am not sure how to advice you except I think you have already made a big step admitting to yourself how you feel. You are very honest with yourself about it even though the feelings are dark. I think there is some school of thought that if your body does something, your mind will follow. Your girlfriend's life consists of two full time jobs, one is being a mother and taking care of someone who depends on her for all her/his needs but will grow less so over time; the other is making a living. You can participate in one of them and try to find something fun about it. Try to remember your favorite things to do as a kid and do it together as a family.

    I also completely understand this is the time you really need to spend time to get to know each other. You and her both may feel like a teenager at this time and just want to be able to spend time alone. You need to find creative ways to get past this time when the kid is the most dependent. Trust me, this time may go by way too fast when you finally figured out you are having fun.
     
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  3. Red08

    Red08 Member

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    Hi any updates to this post? Very curious.
     
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  4. auntdjones

    auntdjones New Member

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    Firstly, I am a mother of two girls, 14 and 12. I am right in the middle of some very difficult years, both for myself and my girls. My advice is to find literature on being a stepparent, but just know that the kids have to be #1 priority for mom. If you choose to love her and her kids and be there for the long haul, then you must encourage her in her role as mom. She gets one shot with raising her kids, so support and encourage her...genuinely. If you truly can't do this, then a single mom is most likely not the one for you.
     
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