Tinder, meeting femmes, getting hurt

Discussion in 'Advice on Meeting Women' started by Kaste, Dec 3, 2014.

  1. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Well, I am old. Older, at least, anyhow. But fortunately, I am a fan of sunscreen, so I'm aging gracefully.
     
    #21
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  2. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Details, @Moses . Tell us more of yer George Michaelesque escapades.
     
    #22
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  3. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member

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    Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? You drove a 4x4 into a Snappy Snaps?
     
    #23
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  4. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

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    Nope;-) You would be horrified. And I still don't know how u missed the casual sex in ur 20's buzz unless u were bible belt or something, cause u guys had the 60's in the actual 60's so u'd have to b like...70 or something to habe missed it.
     
    #24
  5. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Oh, I knew of it, @Moses . And, strangely, women throw themselves at me. It was just never my thing.
    In my day we called it 'one night stands,' and people met at bars. Now it's called 'hooking up' and people meet online. Different, but really the same.
    Oh, I wouldn't be horrified, but I might tease you...
     
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  6. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    I'd like to think I am too :) However, if @Moses has good stories, I want to hear them. I was a perfect angel and chaste.
     
    #26
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  7. golden.

    golden. Member

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    This. Why does this happen? I only recently made a dating profile and began talking to women for the first time. I felt like the convos would go well, responses become shorter, then *cricket*. Lol, they let it go on for so long, I wonder if as girls we're just too nice to say "sorry not interested." However it has happened with conversations I didn't even initiate. I'd love to just message/text back and say "we've established this isn't going anywhere, but what exactly went wrong?" I must know.
     
    #27
  8. golden.

    golden. Member

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    Do you ever wish you hadn't been?
     
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  9. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member

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    It's because people are too polite to say they're not interested. You also have to assume that some people will be new to the messaging thing so they could just be talking as "practice" rather than actually making contact and getting to know folk. It sucks when they go quiet, but don't be the crazy that then messages "Hi we were talking last week and you went quiet on. WHY DON'T YOU LIKE ME?" Probably not the best way to meet someone.
     
    #29
  10. golden.

    golden. Member

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    lmao! I wouldn't do it, but I think about it. Why not just go balls to the wall crazy? They don't really know me and will never meet me... JUST TELL ME WHAT I DID WRONG SO I HAVE A CHANCE OF GETTING MARRIED ONE DAY PLEASE??
     
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  11. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member

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    The funny thing is on the rare occasion that someone politely turns you down, you'll find yourself thanking them for telling you. Obviously on reflection you'll realise that you thanked someone for rebuffing you. Whatever you do stay true to yourself, don't change anything because you think it'll get you dates. My disaster date was with a girl who had lied quite obit on her profile. So when we were talking the truth came out and we had very little in common and she kept talking about something that was a deal breaker for me. Conversation quickly dried up and I had to be very brave and end the date, something I wouldn't wish on anyone.
     
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  12. golden.

    golden. Member

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    I don't think it stings less when they are upfront about not seeing any compatibility, but the straightforwardness is appreciated and it's better than anticipating a message for the next day and a half or so. I have to stay true to myself, if it's not genuine I don't want it. If you don't like my cornball ways, I don't want you. I have become one with the corn. But that's pretty unfortunate and embarrassing for your date... I don't understand how people think they can get away with lying like that. If it's a small detail such as liking the same band, it can be cute that the other person wanted to have something in common though.
     
    #32
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  13. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member

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    I did feel bad for her but I was also a bit annoyed that she'd said stuff to make me interested and than contradicted herself in person. We'd agreed to meet for a drink and go from there, but as we talked it was apparent that she had no idea what she had on her profile in relation to what she was saying to me. We sat there in silence and it was so awkward that I knew I had to break the silence and finish the date. I felt bad but it was a cringeworthy experience. As they say what doesn't kill you...
     
    #33
  14. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    That was a joke. :)
     
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  15. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Did ya ever wish ya hadn't joked?
     
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  16. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Sometimes it's just that they meet someone they like more. Or have more of an instant spark with.

    Lots of people online dating are chatting with multiple profiles. And some profiles are fake and some are in couples and looking to cheat.

    So some drop out because you aren't given them what they hope for - a quick no questions asked hook up.

    Some drop out because they feel guilty and decide not to cheat after all.

    Some meet others and get that instant love-at-first-sight electricity.

    I know it's frustrating. But you've probably doged some bullets along the way. Just keep trying. There's a girl out there somewhere who love of the corn runs deep.
     
    #36
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  17. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

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    Lol. But people may take a while to go quiet as it may take a while to get to know someone. Same as when u meet anyone. ..u have to chat a while to figure out if u get on, are compatible, have chemistry....even if u have anything interesting to say to each other. Sometimes it just dries up. This seems perfectly normal to me. And it need not necessarily mean that they dislike me..I'm just probably not in the percentage of the population that's compatible with them. Of course, they could also have disliked me. That's fine too. Afterall, I don't like everyone. I can't expect myself to b exempt from that rule. But it's normal common human behaviour. ..this fading away business. Don't worry about it girls.
     
    #37
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  18. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

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    Sorry blue. Didn't see u adressing that issue there. We posted at the same time.
     
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  19. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    You stole my thunder, you impertinent scamp! :mad:
     
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  20. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, maybe. Joking and sarcasm tend to get taken the wrong way over the internet (and when people don't know my sense of humor). But, I like to think I'm a little wiser as a result of the sum of all my life experience. Bad choices, naivety, what have you were great life lessons. At the same time -- bad choices don't mean bad person. I never lied, cheated or played games to mess with someone's emotions.
     
    #40
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