Tempted to cheat

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by KingFed, Feb 4, 2020.

  1. KingFed

    KingFed New Member

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    Hello everyone! Where do I begin...

    So, in September I broke up with my almost-five years girlfriend. The relationship had turned abusive, and I had been deeply miserable for months, but what gave me the courage to leave her (among other more practical things, like work finally looking up to me) was rekindling my romance with a girl I dated for a short time five years earlier. Basically, meeting her and feeling happy and safe made me realize I had a way out and a life without my then girlfriend. For context, I had contemplated and attempted suicide, and I am currently on medication.

    Anyway, we are now together. I am happy, she's good to me, and I thought long and hard about this, so I really don't think she's a replacement. I could be fine on my own, I finally realized; I just like being with her.

    But of course, drama always finds its way. Back when I was in the process of breaking up and getting to know my new girlfriend (let's call her G), I also saw another girl a few times (A). Nothing serious, and I broke it off when I realized I actually wanted a shot with G. So why, out of the blue, I can't stop thinking about A? I just really want to see her and have sex with her (as you can imagine, I basically just think about that). And yet, I really couldn't say my sex life is unfulfilling. So why?

    Now, it takes two to tango, and we may not even see each other again, not to mention the rest. But... I've already texted her. We may see each other soon, if her replies are sincere.

    My therapist thinks I probably haven't had enough time for myself, and just jumped in a new relationship. But I wanted and still want to be with her. I just also want to have fun and fuck A, I think about her every day...
     
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  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    You are doing things behind your girlfriend’s back then you are already starting the motion of cheating. Being honest and planning things with a girlfriend is a way to intimacy. I think you are not ready for it yet. You might not want to be tied to one person maybe? But you know this is not cool, right? What you are already planning? Does A know about G? It is not fair to either women that you are doing this. Don’t be that person and be honest and tell G you want to see other people. If you think you can find ways to be content then cancel your plans with A. Please don’t do things you will regret.
     
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  3. Writer23

    Writer23 Well-Known Member

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    You should take some time off from dating others and date you. Give yourself a year or so and do some serious introspection in order to find some sense of clarity of what you truly want . You owe this to your own well-being and health because it appears as if your behavior in this moment is manic and destructive. Promiscuity is this day and age can lead to you contracting an STD or STI. Even more so, you are hurting people and somehow justifying your behavior. If you are unhappy in a relationship, end it. Then , be it a fling or something serious, start something new with someone else. This is the mature thing to do, not selfishly hold on to someone who you have chosen not to commit to. Try to live with some sense of integrity and treat people as you would want them to treat you.
     
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  4. lianot

    lianot New Member

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    Many of us have such unpleasant situations. In this situation, the most important thing is not to be discouraged and not upset. Forget about everything bad and move forward. I had a similar situation. I broke all my relationships. Now it’s much easier for me. Also, I found https://datingtop10.net/ and want to try online dating. In my opinion it will be easier to find the person I need. I can be myself.
     
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  5. Matt

    Matt Member

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    Stop acting like douchbag and be honest with G... sounds like your just a kid so nothing wrong with having some fun.. but put yourself in G's shoes...
     
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