Supervisor At Work

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by Rubicon, Dec 19, 2013.

  1. Rubicon

    Rubicon Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2013
    Messages:
    43
    Likes Received:
    1
    So this is about my supervisor at work. (For some important context - it's a supervisor in a part-time job, we're close in age and it's pretty informal, so this isn't about whether it is acceptable/ unacceptable to crush on your boss.)

    She could be totally straight for all I know. There is a photo of her with a guy on Facebook, but then that was taken down. I'm not suggesting that means she's a lesbian/ bi or anything (obviously...I mean obviously), just that she may at least be single. I have seen her wearing a thumb ring, but that could mean anything (she doesn't have the greatest sense of fashion, and that could be part of it!)

    She's fairly distant and quiet. People speculate that she's like that because she's a new supervisor, who knows really. What I was wondering is, is there any way to probe the situation further without being awkward etc.? We do have times when we can talk informally, just wondering what to say!
     
    #1
  2. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2013
    Messages:
    938
    Likes Received:
    188
    Hi, Well you could just saying 'hey' and just get to know her the same way you would anyone else...start off with little things and see if you both connect and/or have a laugh. And then go from there. Unless you want to ask her out straight away? But you prob don't I'd imagine, so take some time to get to know her and see if things evolve from there. If she is gay and is out, that will prob be revealed through idle chit chat. If she is gay and in the closet, well then she mightn't be to keen to be saying anything in work then. If she is straight, you will prob find that out soon enough too. People drop their dating habits into conversation pretty readily. So just chat, keep your ears open, see how it goes. No sweat.

    Just to add, I'm not sure if this is what your asking, but probing specifically about her sexuality would be pretty inappropriate at this stage I reckon. At least becomes mates with her first.
     
    #2
  3. Cricket

    Cricket Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2013
    Messages:
    154
    Likes Received:
    11
    Your post barely says anything useful so not sure what to add here, except add more detail and maybe someone can help you.
     
    #3
  4. Rubicon

    Rubicon Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2013
    Messages:
    43
    Likes Received:
    1
    Wow, cool the hostility! Maybe I didn't want to give away too many details to avoid revealing who I am/ who the other person is...a pretty legitimate goal on a public forum. It (and this is directly quite specifically at the last poster) obviously didn't act as an inhibitor on giving advice, so thanks to Moses. What I'm now wondering is, is it advisable to bring up sexuality (indirectly obviously) in conversation? I've fallen into a few long running are/ aren't they situations and am reluctant to end up in that again. And if it is advisable, what's the best way to do it?
     
    #4
  5. rabbitheart

    rabbitheart Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2013
    Messages:
    70
    Likes Received:
    0
    I guess it really depends on how comfortable you are with your sexuality (in public).

    To start, I'm not sure how appropriate it is to directly ask her if she is gay in early convos. But then again, I've had people ask me probing questions when I first meet them and, even though I find it really weird, I don't think too much of it (other than they're probably one of those people that will ask anyone anything).

    I, personally, would use an indirect approach (i.e. talking about my own sexual preference) by saying something as follows in a conversation: "My ex was really ____. She ___." You can fill in the blanks with whatever comes to mind, but that's not what's important. It's a clear way to 'I'm super gay' without making a big deal out of it, which is as it should be in my opinion. If she wants to offer some information regarding her sexuality at that point, then it worked. If she doesn't, I wouldn't push it any farther at the moment.

    However, if you aren't comfortable talking about your sexuality in public, it will be trickier. You'd have to wait until you know her better, and that happens by just hanging out and chatting.
     
    #5
  6. rabbitheart

    rabbitheart Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2013
    Messages:
    70
    Likes Received:
    0
    Also, the fact that she is distant and quiet suggest to me that she is probably shy, and therefore may not respond well to you asking her directly about her sexual preference. So, I would use the indirect route. A person who is shy is more likely to come out of their shell when they find someone they can relate to.
     
    #6

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice