Struggling with my identity.

Discussion in 'Advice (Dear AE...)' started by NothingNcommon, Dec 7, 2019.

  1. NothingNcommon

    NothingNcommon New Member

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    I Hope I can make sense with all of this. I’ve been struggling with my identity for years.

    Here’s a little back story about me. I grew up within a family and culture where they don’t understand the lgbtq community. My mom dislikes gays and lesbians but she’s definitely more accepting to them than if I would come out.

    Anyways to get to my point. Idk who I am. I can’t tell the difference between being a lesbian or just being in the wrong body. I have jealousy issues with men and the way they look. Idk if I struggle with gender dysphoria because I’m always angry and deal with other mental issues. I used to pray to God that I would wake up one day and becoming a man. Idk if I want to be a man because I’m scared my family won’t accept me being a lesbian or idk if I want to be a man because I don’t see myself when I look in the mirror. I feel like sometime that maybe I’ve just accepted myself for being in the body I’m in to make it easier on myself.

    Anyone feel the same way or has gone through something similar? Or am I just being crazy.
     
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  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    I just noticed your question and want to bump this up hoping others more knowledgeable about gender identity can talk to you. I do not know enough about it but I know more about mommy issues.

    From my experiences with my mom I have found that a lot of the strong feelings she had against stuff came from a place of fear. She feared things she did not understand and she feared things she understood way too well. Now, that both of us have ripened well into age, she is more concerned that I am just happy and healthy. However, she was not someone I could find in my early childhood that spark of unconditional acceptance that carries me in self confidence. I had to try hard to dig for that in brief memories of my grandfather. I had to learn a lot of knowing myself and going forward later in life. I am still learning. I choose friends carefully, not the ones who flatter, but the ones who encourage, accept and call me out when I am being a douche. I hope you can find people in rl who can walk with you in this. In the meantime, I am so glad you posted here. Good luck.
     
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