Straight colleague or not?

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by wallflower, Mar 20, 2019.

  1. wallflower

    wallflower Member

    Dec 27, 2014
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    I transferred to a new department and I met this girl, I didn't notice her until our manager's party. I came in late, I think she was tipsy at that time and she accidentally touched my arms, she said I was strong then she started pulling me and making me take shots. She'd literally say she'd only drink if I'm drinking too. After it mellowed down, she went to me gain and asked if I'm strong enough to carry her. She jumped on me and looked at my face like she was surprised or something. When we were about to go home, she clung to my arm then hugged me. Her face was on my chest when she said that she came from an "all-girls school" and that she might be "bi." Then I just laughed and my ride called me so we just said goodbye.

    I see her sometimes in office but she won't talk to me as we did in the party, she did start telling people in the office that she might be bi.

    I didn't think of anything until another party came along. I was really tipsy, I remember her trying to dance with me and my other colleague telling her to leave me alone coz I'm already dating someone. I also remember her grabbing my chest and I looked at her and then she grabbed my hand and put it on her boob asking if I think it's small.

    We rarely talk in office (I work outside mostly), but again another party. A formal one. I'm a butch so I wore tux. She said that I looked good and we took a photo on her phone, again my colleague reminded us that I'm already dating someone. Later in the night, she asked me to kiss her and I just laughed but she said "Ok how about just kiss me on the cheeks" and I still laughed so she just kissed my cheek instead. That was our last encounter that night because we got separated into groups.

    Again another party, we went out with some guys in our department to a club. She asked me again to kiss her cheek and I laughed, she then said if my colleague kisses her I should too, so when my colleague kissed her I gave in and kissed her cheek because our friends were waiting.

    My schedule changed so I never got to go out with them anymore for more than a month. I saw her in the office earlier. The desk available was right next to her so I sat there. I tried to make casual conversation with her but it felt like she was awkward. After I went on my break, she changed seats. Why does it feel like she's avoiding me?
  2. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

    Jul 4, 2013
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    Don’t pursue your closeted coworker.

    She only makes passes at you when she’s drunk. She can’t quite face her sexuality when she is sober. You’re with someone. You two work together.

    It sounds like a shitshow to avoid at all costs.

    She’s probably avoiding you because she’s closeted and embarrassed that she drunkenly came onto her coworker at an office party. She’s right to be embarrassed, because it’s pretty cringe behavior.
    Spygirl likes this.
  3. Copperhead

    Copperhead Active Member

    Jul 5, 2013
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    I agree with Bluenote here. It sounds like she can't face her sexuality just yet and she is picking the worst conditions - her drunken state - to do something about it because it's easier that way.

    I'd like to add that her lack of discretion might backfire on you. Alcohol makes people do things they regret and you can't know if she might come up with a false story about how it was YOU that came onto her and took advantage or something, even if you haven't even laid a finger on her because you are dating someone.

    It's probably best to avoid her. She clearly doesn't take into account that your coworkers have eyes too and she could put you in a rather compromising situation.

    Has anything new happened? Let us know.
    Bluenote likes this.

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