Still in the closet....well, sort of...

Discussion in 'Coming Out' started by Les-Christina, Jan 17, 2015.

  1. Les-Christina

    Les-Christina New Member

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    Hi Everyone! :)

    So my names Christina from Australia and I'm a 24 yr old lesbian. (Do I sound like I'm at one of those AA meetings?)..

    Anyway I always knew I was gay since I was young but I never felt comfortable with it until I started hanging around some old school aquaintances at parties when I was around 20. I officially came out to these people and my best friend at the time who was an out and proud butch lesbian.

    So fast forward to now and I'm in a 4 year relationship with my best friend (who is Hindu Indian) and soul mate, but there's just one problem... she is in the closet with her family and everyone around her...so I've been the "friend" and "housemate" for this entire time...

    I'm turning 25 soon, and I feel like I've gone backwards...I used to flaunt my "lesbianism", having fun evolving into who I wanted to be. I wanted to tell my parents and everyone whom asked if I had a boyfriend, that I was in fact a lesbian.
    But now...nothing, I feel hidden and worried I'll say something at the place we both work at that will blow our "cover".

    The only people who know about us is my friends from my old work place and my mum who accidently saw us kiss each other at a shopping centre...where she decided to surprise us for lunch! My mum took it well, was shocked at first and said she would never understand but would love me the same. I want to come out to my dad and everyone else in my life but I just feel so self concious and afraid now...

    Anyway that's my sorry story, just needed to get it off my chest and see if anyone else had any helpful suggestions?
     
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  2. Kaiden

    Kaiden Well-Known Member

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    You know those coming out stories on Youtube? some parents were even religious to the bone but regardless of that, their reactions were surprisingly great. The people who came out were so afraid, you could feel the fear in every word that was coming out of their mouth. And you might have that fear for nothing.
    it is quite simple unlike other cases. You're both adults with jobs, why the fear of telling the truth about yourself? it is your life, there is no good reason to be afraid of putting to use the basics of human rights that you've got, in your case.

    you could talk to your mother, so your mother could try to fish some opinions from your father and let you know if you can have a green light to tell him - if you find this a boost to your plan.

    look. being siblings (i suppose you've got some on that list), you are not obligated to satisfy their likes and follow their.. whatever shit they try to imply to others. morals, standards and expectations; being siblings is only a coincidence. and that coincidence has any other roll in someone's life, but not "obligations". you don't owe them on a plate your human rights.

    as a fellow human being, i'm asking you in a friendly way to stop being afraid and live your life as you want.
    tell yourself everyday while brushing your teeth or having a shower - "fuck my fear. fuck those brains in cages. i'm outside of that cage and they don't know how it is outside. they can only see and assume. i broke the lock to show them how it is outside of that cage and the are still in the cage. they are not out because they are afraid, and when people are afraid of something, it is because they think is evil. so fuck that, let them stay in the cage"

    yes yes! everyday all of that :))
     
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  3. Les-Christina

    Les-Christina New Member

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    Hey Kaiden!

    Thanks for your reply and helpful suggestions. I've tried to take some of your advice on board recently.

    I think the main problem though is that over the past four years because my relationship is 'closeted' it's made me go back to being closeted.
    Little by little though I'm trying to be more comfortable in myself. Hopefully things will go a little more better soon. :)
     
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    pikatan2 likes this.

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