Stay away but don't go too far!

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by Diana, Aug 25, 2013.

  1. Diana

    Diana Well-Known Member

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    Hey everyone! I'm just gonna start telling you about my problem and I'll try to keep it short, but I'm sure it won't be :) Please excuse my English mistakes, it's not my first language.

    During the school year, I live in a big city, because I go there for college. But now I'm home, in a little town and I'm staying here till October 1st, when I go back to school. In this town, everybody knows everybody. My group of friends is pretty big and we know a lot of people. Recently, through one of my friends, I met a lesbian couple. We hanged out with other friends and the two of them couldn't have been more cute together. They are 16 and 17 years old, the 17 year old is turning 18 in a few weeks, which is the adult age in my country. Lets call the 16 year old M. and A. is the 17 year old.

    After that night, I didn't see the two of them until a week ago, when we went to an event and they were there too. I didn't talk much with them, but I remember having a shirt which showed my cleavage pretty well, as well as a mole which I have on one of my breasts and for which I get a lot of compliments. And one of them told me that she saw it and then the next one said that she saw it too and it's quite nice. I didn't pay much attention to their words, tried to be polite and just said a simple 'thank you!". Later that night, A. came to me and basically took my shirt and pulled it somehow to hide the mole and my cleavage. Doing that, she did touch one of my boobs but I didn't say anything, I was just surprised and didn't know how to react. Her girlfriend was right next to her when she did that and I thought that she did it so that her girlfriend wouldn't stare at my boobs. That was the opinion of my friend that introduced them to me, so I was fine with it.

    The next day, I go on Facebook and see that I got a friend request from A. I accepted it, thinking that she might have sent friend requests to everybody who was there with us that night. I was wrong. She only sent those to me and another friend who is bisexual. I was like "ok, maybe she just wants to get to know the LGBT people from our city." But then again, she didn't add my gay friend who also hanged out with us and who happens to be a friend of her girlfriend. Anyway, I started talking with A. and she seemed really sweet and we made jokes and had a really nice time. We talked quite a bit that day, with pauses because she had to leave a few times. But once she came back, she immediately said "hi" and we started talking again. At some point, she asked me what I think about her. Told her that I think she is nice and funny and that's all I can say, since I don't know her very well. I also told her that I don't know what she wants me to say, to which she replies "I want you to tell me that you want me in your bed". Everytime she said something like this, she put a laughing emoticon to show that it was just a joke. I mean, I get jokes, but she was joking too much about it and I felt a little bit weird, because she has a girlfriend and we don't know each other long enough to know if her girlfriend is ok with this kind of jokes. So I asked her "does your girlfriend know about this kind of jokes?" and she started saying that those are just jokes, that if she really was hitting on me, she would have had me by now. I didn't like that cocky attitude of hers, but I let it slide, being relieved that the sex jokes would stop and that the situation won't get any more uncomfortable.

    3 days ago, a rock festival started in our town and I knew that everybody would be there and I was really excited to go. I took my friends and we went. A. was there too, with her girlfriend, but I didn't get the chance to say hi because I had to go find some other friend who disappeard with our beer. When I came back, she wasn't there anymore, which made me a little bit sad. I saw her passing by herself at some point, but I didn't go after her, afraid that my friends will see me, especially the friend that is friends with her girlfriend. The next day, she told me that she saw me and didn't get to say "hi" and I told her the same. And then we started talking again and she told me to ask my gay friend to call her girlfriend when we arrive, so we can meet. We arrived, but my friend didn't call the girl, which somehow hurt me. I realised that I wanted to see this girl more than I wanted to addmit. I was with a bunch of friends and we decided to stay in a corner where there weren't many people. I was determinated to have fun and not focus on finding her in the crowd. Me and my friends started drinking and dancing and, for a while, I forgot about her. I just danced and danced and had a really great time. At one moment, I see them coming towards us and my heart started racing. I was drinking beer and A. came and poked my chin and I showed her the finger. I did it as a joke and she took it like one, but then I was sorry for my awkwardness and thought that maybe I should have acted differently. They went away and I started dancing with my friends again, at this point, we were all a bunch of drunks. Me and one of my friends had to leave to go to the bathroom and when we came back, the two of them were there. I tried to act cool, not looking at them and started dancing with my friends, hoping that she wouldn't see how much I suck at dancing. After dancing some more, a band that we liked very much came on stage and I took my friends and we went in front of the stage to dance. A. and her girlfriend came too. At some point, a friend of mine, the bisexual girl she added on Facebook when she added me, came to me and told me to kiss her. We kiss a lot, we used to have something but now we are just kissing from time to time, just for fun. And when she told me to kiss her, I took some steps back to be next to A. and told my friend "why don't you kiss me?" and she did. We made out and when the kiss ended, I saw A. walking away. I don't know why she left, maybe her girlfriend asked her to leave with her or maybe she was bothered by the kiss. I know that I wanted to make her jealous, but I don't know why.

    The next day, which is yesterday, she didn't say anything about the kiss, but she did say "hi" once she got online. She told me that she just woke up but she is still sleepy, so I let her go back to sleep. I went to the festival with my friends and she was there, with her girlfriend. While her girlfriend was next to me and my friend, A. was messing with my hair, jumping around my neck, she bit my neck once. Even though I loved the attention, I felt so uncomfortable because I knew her girlfriend is there. She didn't seem to care or maybe she is just used to her being like this. At some point, I walked away from her, telling her to leave me alone because she started pinching me. But I said it with a smile on my face so she ran back at me. I don't know how I did it, but I menaged to get some of her beer on my arm. She immediately started to touch my arm, to get the beer away she said, but she did take her time for those drops of beer. Then A. and her girlfriend went away, and I tried to look calm and keep dancing with my friends. Then, I went to the bathroom with a friend of mine and I saw A. all alone and she looked upset. I asked her what's wrong and she said nothing, but she didn't fool me. She asked if I saw M. and I said no and she left. I waited for my friend who was at the bathroom and we walked to the place where our friends were. A few steps away from the bathroom and I saw A. and M. fighting and A. pushing her girlfriend and walking away. A part of me was sad, because they are very cute together and I hoped they were ok. Another part of me was sad to know she is upset and another part of me was somehow happy thinking that maybe she will come to me. But I realised it was a crazy thought and did my best to get it off my mind. At the end of the night, they were together again and I was happy and sad at the same time.

    Today, after she woke up, she said "hi" again and we talked a little bit. Asked her if she is ok and she said that she is. She kept telling me that I'm a minion, a midget and all that (I'm 5 cm shorter than her, but I let her tease me). She also told me that she likes shorter girls, because they are cute. She told me that she will tickle me the next time she sees me and asked if I'm coming to the festival tonight, since it is the last day. I told her that I don't think I'll come, the majority of my friends are not going and I don't want to stay alone. She gave me her phone number and asked me to call her if I change my mind and decided to come. She told me that I can hang out with her and with her girlfriend. I promised to call her if I come, but I knew right away that I won't come because I don't want to be the 3rd wheel. But, at the same time, I'm happy that she gave me her phone number.

    So, I want to know what would you do in my case. I mean, I never even look at girls that are underage or have a girlfriend. I usually date older girls, older than me, who are single. But this one girl, she has a girlfriend, she is 17 still and she is also living in my home town, a town that I'll leave in 5 weeks. Even though I like her, I'm not gonna even try to act on it. I don't like cheaters and I wouldn't want her to cheat on her girlfriend and I'm not gonna be the reason for them breaking up. I know that in a few weeks, things will stop because I won't be back till December. But as for now, how can I stay in touch with her without feeling this attraction and this need to kiss her? I know it's just a crush, maybe I like the attention and I know I'll be fine once I leave. But I don't want to feel so silly when she is around me, I want to be relaxed. I'm also afraid that her girlfriend might figure something out and come after me. At the end of the day, nothing is happening between us. But at the same time, if my girlfriend would talk to another girl like A. is talking to me, I wouldn't like it at all and I would be suspicious and worried.

    I know they will stay together and I'm glad, because I'm not gonna be anyone's reason for breaking up with their significant other. I just want to stop having this stupid crush, because she is a really nice girl and I would like to be her friend and be able to hang out with her without feeling all of this and without being afraid that I might do something stupid. My problem is that I don't know how to keep in touch with her, but make her stop being so touchy-feely towards me so that my crush will stop and we could act just like friends. I don't know how to tell her to stay away, but to not go too far from me.
     
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