Spent an amazing weekend with an amazing woman

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by MJ519, Jun 13, 2018.

  1. MJ519

    MJ519 Member

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    Hi all, I’m back!

    I went to a music festival this past weekend and stayed with a bunch of people I had only just met there (whether this year or last). The one guy was telling me he can’t wait for me to meet this girl, and he has to talk to her before she meets me. Whether he did or didn’t say anything doesn’t really matter in this situation, but he said he didn’t say anything, he just knew. I should mention that she is A LOT older than me, which I only found out after we were into each other. When she showed up Friday night, she needed to go back to the house for something. I offered to go with her (met her like 5 mins before). By the time we got back on the mountain we were holding hands and kissed. She lost her phone, but we knew it was there, so I gave her mine to call it. She was like “you realise what just happened , right? I have your number.” I said “And I have yours. Maybe I planned it that way.” She had only just got there so I didn’t realize she was already drunk. The next morning she went out though and said she tried to meditate and I kept popping into her head. At one point in the day (not sure if sober or drunk..probably doesn’t matter), someone said something and she was like “Obviously I like cuddling on the blanket more anyway.” That night we were all over each other again. When I brought her up to bed we were sitting there and she asked if she was confusing me. I kind of just shrugged. I wanted to say no, but she’s only over me after we get on the mountain, so I guess she would be confusing me. She said “I am! I really do like you.” But she also forgot she had my number. The next day, she took a nap and was upset the day before that I didn’t wake her up (I went to the mountain early). So when it was time we all wanted to go, I woke her up and we went. Since she took that nap, I’m not sure how drunk she was, if at all yet. But practically, once we got up there we were all cuddly again. That night was more special than the other two. She kept mentioning that it sucks it’s the last day. I kept telling her it doesn’t have to be. She even mentioned she’s going on vacation and asked if I wanted to go. Unfortunately, the week doesn’t work out for me, so I can’t. Yesterday morning, she had to get up early to get to work. She brought all her belongings down, so I thought that was it, that I wasn’t going to get a goodbye or anything. After she was all ready, she did come back up and sat on the bed and gave me a kiss goodbye.

    I’m pretty sure there’s definitely something there, right? Not just a weekend fling and that’s it. There are things she forgot, so I also don’t know if she remembers most of it and really just forgot small things like how old I am and that she has my number. Like if she was dead sober, would she have told me she really likes me (and does she remember telling me that) and ask me on Vacation. I think she was sober at this time and when she heard my age again, she said “as long as you’re older than my oldest.” That still doesn’t have to mean much though.

    I found her shirt under the blanket yesterday, so I texted her tonight to tell her that I had a great time this weekend and I’m holding her tank top hostage...for now. It seems like the responses were good, but still not sure how to take it. She texted that she just got out of work and yesterday and today were long rough days. Then sent another saying “About the shirt I guess you deserve to keep it hostage after being exposed to all that. ” I texted sorry to hear that and that I was still working but should probably stop. Then another one that said “And if we’re talking about me being exposed, I wouldn’t say it’s a bad thing. More like a reward.” So she responded that working late must have me delirious. Haha. I told her “Nah. I’m perfectly fine.” No response after that, which I wouldn’t expect one, especially because she could have been sleeping already or trying to.

    I didn’t mention off the bat meeting to give her the tank back, afraid of the outcome. I figured since she is older and mature and seems like she tells you what she wants that maybe she would mention it or something, seeing as I did at least still show I was interested. Could there still be something? Or could it just be friendly banter? Do I now wait and see if I get anything back? Or go for it and ask when she’s available? I think a big part of me is terrified of making that move of asking her to do something, because if she doesn’t want to even be a hookup, we may still see each other again, and that would be awkward for both of us.

    Sorry for the long post, again. Haha. I figured some backstory, might help though.
     
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  2. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    I once had someone flat out tell me that she "must be confusing the hell out of me"...I didn't exactly know what that meant at the time, but in retrospect, I now see it as her (and yes, she was older than me) leading me on and knowing it...being fully aware of what she was doing.....yet enjoying the moment, incapable of saying no because there might have been something on her part, but that something might not have been enough to sustain anything meaningful. Maybe she was into me in that space and time, but once the real world crept back, there was nothing more there. And maybe alcohol was certainly a factor in keeping inhibitions way down to where things were said that might not have been meant.

    The point is...there's not enough here to know whether she's playing games or whether she were into you for that weekend..or whether she's into you even more. It's possible that when when reality struck, she found herself facing a million questions and having a million reservations and doubts as to what this thing with you could be...if she wanted it to be anything at all.

    Pay attention to her actions -- what are they telling you? Is she making an effort to spend time with you or get to know you outside of one amazing weekend? Is she saying things without the influence of alcohol? If she is -- then see where it goes. If she isn't...but doesn't outright say that she's not into you after that weekend -- then follow her lead and let it go.

    If you feel you must ask her to do something, then do it in the context of a group of friends..that way it's less awkward and you can gather more information as to how she might act toward you outside of a weekend music festival. Your invitation will come across as harmless, and you won't feel silly if you've misread anything more into the situation.
     
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    Last edited: Jun 13, 2018
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  3. MJ519

    MJ519 Member

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    That’s exactly how I feel this situation is. We had an amazing weekend together, but now that it’s back to the real world, I feel she probably regrets what happened or maybe not that but wonders what the hell she was thinking. And figures so many reasons that anything more could be a bad thing.

    I know when we texted last night she was sober. But that was the only time I’ve talked to her outside the weekend.

    I totally would feel silly. Haha. I’d be afraid to keep texting her even just to be friendly. And now thinking about her hanging out with my friends...that would probably definitely make her not want to pursue anymore. They’re younger than her oldest. Although, where I’d take her, I am also friends with older people.
     
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  4. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    For some people, age isn't a big deal -- it's about common interests. I have friends of many different ages -- I even have friends that are old enough to be my parents. Would I date someone with a drastic age difference? Honestly, I have no idea...my inclination would be to say no...but I also subscribe to never saying never... For other people, age can be a deal breaker....Flip that around though...if you're insecure about the age thing, she might be as well....

    I guess just read the situation and see how she reacts to you...did her texting last night give you any indication that there was something there? Only you know the answer to that.
     
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  5. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like you had a nice time with her. It is very sensual of you to have kept the t-shirt. :)

    I think she is pretty insecure about her body and her age. If you are really interested, you have to do most of the work and let her know your intent and the level of your interest. The words she said about the tshirt and the age of her kids indicate that insecurity. I think if I were hit up by someone half my age, I would feel old and stupid if I were to make more of it than the youngster. And if I were to pursue a youngster I would feel rather gross like an older person taking advantage of a younger person. I am thinking that because she asked if she was confusing you.

    The most worrisome part for me is about the drinking. I definitely would not hook up with someone if I were under the influence, and definitely not flirt with someone much younger while inebriated. On the flip side, I would not hook up with someone who is drunk. The chances for remorse is great there. Your sentence about her being "already drunk" is a red flag for me. Was she drunk like early in the day? Was she drinking alone?

    Just ask her for a date in the daylight and see how she is. Tell her how you feel about her. It is ok if she doesn't feel the same, just dust yourself off and move on. If after lunch she is already 3 sheets to the wind then I would suggest staying away.
     
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  6. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Sometimes weekend hook ups are just weekend hookups and they don’t translate into dating, or even future hook ups.

    All you can do is text her and see how it plays out. She’s attracted to you, but who knows if she is interested in more?

    I say proceed with caution though. If you are 30-ish and she’s a lot older, partying, hooking up, drunk forgetting things... she might not be girlfriend material. If she wanted to be more settled, she probably would be already.
     
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  7. MJ519

    MJ519 Member

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    I’m not insecure about the age thing. I don’t even know how old she is. I just know she has to be at least 15 years older, probably more. Whatever age she is, she doesn’t look it, at all, which I guess is what makes me not care so much.

    I just figure with her asking and making sure multiple times that I was older than her oldest, that hanging out with people younger than him or the same age, would still be awkward or a deal breaker for her.

    I don’t know. I think it did, but it’s hard to really know. She did text me tonight though to say hi!
     
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  8. MJ519

    MJ519 Member

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    Well, even if I don’t see her until the event next year (if we go and see each other), I didn’t want to get rid of it. ..and It was a perfect excuse to text her. Haha.

    The first night, she had just got there from work and hadn’t eaten, so she was done after 1 or 2 drinks. At one point in the weekend, she told me she doesn’t drink that often, which is probably why she’s such a lightweight.

    Something not mentioned in the original post also. On Saturday morning she tried to take a hike and meditate. She told me, you’d think it’d be easy because she didn’t have to imagine anything, but then I kept popping into her head..and she was sober at that time.

    She actually texted me tonight. So maybe that will be a little easier.
     
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    Last edited: Jun 13, 2018
  9. MJ519

    MJ519 Member

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    Well, she did text me tonight and we’re still texting. I did throw in that I’ve been up since 3:30, but I’m still not delirious. I would think she got what I meant, but all she asked was why so early.

    She actually was in a very committed relationship that ended the end of last year. And the drinking, she says she doesn’t drink that much. It was that kind of weekend though. We start drinking early in the day and party all day and night.
     
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  10. Derick Steve

    Derick Steve Member

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    There are a lot of people who are interested in dating with aged people. I have a lot of friends who date with elders. They say that age is not a barrier for love. One never know when he’ll find love, it often comes from the most surprising places. Nowadays there are a lot of gay and lesbian dating website to help people find their perfect partner. One of my friends is a professional matchmaker. He says that most of the women are interested to date with older men because old men are :
    1. Experienced and cultured...
    2. Be Better in Terms of Pleasing
    3. Have More Sophisticated Taste
    4. Pretty Good in the Kitchen
     
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