Something Changed

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by whitesteel, Jul 9, 2013.

  1. whitesteel

    whitesteel Member

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    I met this girl a few months ago. We immediately hit it off and started texting each other and hanging out. One night after a few drinks, we admitted that we like each other and talked about what we wanted to do about it. We both said we weren`t looking for anything serious but that we wanted to continue spending time together and getting to know one another. At this point I wasn`t too sure how I felt about her. She on the other hand told me straight up that she was definitely attracted to me, that she got butterflies whenever she was around me and that she was excited and happy about what was going on between us. The thing is, she`s bisexual and although she had fooled around with a few girls when she was drunk before, she had never dated a girl. She admitted that the idea was scary and that she was worried about disappointing me and that she needed time to get comfortable with me. I told her that I totally understood and I was willing to take things as slow as she wanted. This whole conversation happened while I was out of town. The next night when I came back, we hung out at her house, had some drinks, cuddled on the couch and watched a couple movies. It felt like things were going great. I was starting to warm up to her and was looking forward to spending more time together. The next weekend she came out and had some drinks with me and a few of my friends. I ended up going back to her place and spending the night. Nothing happened, we just cuddled again. It was after that when things changed. She stopped texting me and whenever I initiated a conversation with her she kept it short and seemed uninterested. I finally sent her a text saying that it seemed like she was no longer interested in doing whatever it was we were doing and that if that was the case, there were no hard feelings and that I would see her around. She responded that she was just really busy with work but that she wanted to go back to just being friends. That sucked...but I said I was ok with it. Since then we haven`t really spoken much or hung out at all. Ive been wracking my brain trying to figure out what happened. Here`s what I`ve come up with: 1) She just decided that she wasn`t that into me after all and legitimately just wants to be friends OR 2) She got scared or overwhelmed and `ran` away from the situation. She did tell me one night that she hadn`t told any of her friends about us and I`m pretty sure her parents have no idea that she`s interested in girls. So anyways, i just wanted to see if anyone else out that has been in a situation like this and what was the outcome. I`m trying to decided if i should just walk away and get over it or if I should try the whole just friends thing and see what happens. I`d be totally fine with a `friends with benefits`situation, but at this point that might be off the table as well.
     
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  2. jaysea

    jaysea Well-Known Member

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    Well she told you she wanted to be just friends so at this point that seems to be your only option, no? Don't stress about trying to figure out what happened because the only way to get that answer is to ask her. Id try and move on or be just friends with her if you can manage that. Maybe if she was scared and ran away like you said she might come around at some point. But since she said let's go back to being friends the move has to be on her part
     
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  3. Brandy Alexander

    Brandy Alexander Well-Known Member

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    Don't take her change of mind and asking to be friends instead of a relationship personal. She is having issues with the idea of being Bi-sexual. She hasn't told her friends and family about you therefore I really don't think she is that serious. I'm certain you dodged a major bullet! I wouldn't hold out for "friends-with-benefits" either! That is another whole can of worms. Sex always comes with emotions and/or develops into them whether we want them too or not. A relationship shouldn't be that much work. It should develop and evolve naturally when it's desired by both parties. I'm sorry things didn't work out with this girl, however, I'm sure they weren't meant too.
     
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  4. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    I agree with the other posters. She is either struggling with her sexuality, or she isn't that into you anymore. Move on.

    Its not that you did anything wrong to turn her off or anything. I mean, it sounds like you did everything right - were honest, were just yourself, took things slow, talked to her about where she was at.

    But she just can't handle being with you, for whatever reason. Likely she is scared to be gay, so she kind of 'buried' her crush and the little spark got snuffed out. Sad, but her loss.

    Don't let her mess get to your head. Move on. You'll find a nice girl who appreciates your openess, honesty and patience.

    Good Luck.
     
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  5. whitesteel

    whitesteel Member

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    Thanks for the advice and kind words. I've decided to stop trying to figure out what went wrong, it's out of my control and wouldn't really make a difference either way. I'm giving the whole just being friends a real try. Bottom line is that I have a lot of fun with this girl and I'd rather be her friend than nothing at all. It was just a crush and it didn't work out. That's life. We actually hung out a couple nights ago and it was great. It feels like things are back to the way they were before we tried taking it step further and I'm fine with that.
     
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  6. Woolmer

    Woolmer New Member

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    The other week we were out for the day and ending up kissing and holding each other while we chilled out like a couple. We walked around holding hands. It is never started by myself.
     
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  7. Just Me

    Just Me Well-Known Member

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    Wait... It took you almost 2 years to kiss and hold hands ? Am I seeing this right, or are the dates just messed up?
     
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