This song has been sung many times before but I just need to vent. I've been struggling with my sexuality for years. It didn't take long for me to accept myself because I know there's nothing wrong with being gay. But I am so afraid of what my friends and family will think, mainly my close group of friends. I can't go out and meet anyone because I'm not out, only out to two people who live miles away from me. I came out to them because they are very good friends of mine, I knew they weren't homophbic and they had no connection to my other family and friends back home. People I just meet assume I'm straight and it's hard for other girls to tell if I am or not. I pretend I like guys romantically. So I'm just stuck. My heart is heavy, I cry a lot, I feel alone. I'm SO tired emotionally. The next person I want to tell is my sister because she will be accepting and she'll understand, but even then I'm still afraid, although I feel it on the tip of my tongue. There's this strong urge to just blurt it out to her but I haven't taken the leap yet. It still feels really weird for me to say outloud, "I'm gay" or "I like women" even though it's been a long time since I knew this about myself. On the outside I seem happy and outgoing, goofing around, and yes there are moments when I do genuinely feel happy, but it takes but a moment for reality to set it and suddenly I feel alone in a room full of people. A huge part of the smiles and laughter is hiding the hurt I feel inside. Not sure where I'm going with this but I guess I just need to know someone is listening.