So I told my best friend.... and....... (AKA I can be so dense sometimes)

Discussion in 'Coming Out' started by CherryBerry, Jan 30, 2015.

  1. CherryBerry

    CherryBerry Member

    Jan 14, 2015
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    To recap - I'm the person who posted a couple of weeks back saying that I have always been attracted to women but instead of exploring that and working out what it means to me I decided to bury it deep down and proceed with the life that was expected of me. Marriage (to a man), a child..... but it has just become too big to keep buried now. This forum was the first place I had ever been honest about how I really feel.....

    Well, it was strangely empowering. Almost immediately, I began to feel more relaxed and in a better place to start working this stuff out without making any rash decisions. I'm going for bi at the moment and am working on recognising and accepting that part of me while simultaneously trying to save my relationship with my husband. I'm in no rush to come to any big conclusions but I'm open to the idea.

    Along with accepting myself as bi came an overwhelming desire to tell people. :eek: So.... last Friday I met up with my best friend for a drink. I've known this girl for 29 years - we have been inseparable since we were 5 years old. I was so, so nervous. How would she react? What if she thought differently of me? Well the conversation went like this:

    Me: So.... I've got something I need to tell you. [dramatic pause]. I've got this huge crush on a work colleague and... she's a woman. [pause for reaction]

    BFF: Okay.... [nodding, as if prompting me to go on]

    Me: Well... she's a woman.... [pause] It's big, right?

    BFF: Has anything happened with her?

    Me: No! I'm married!! And she's with someone, too. Besides, as far as she knows I'm a married, straight woman who would never be interested anyway.....

    BFF: [confused] Oh! I thought you were going to tell me you were having an affair with her!

    Me: No, I'm telling you I'm gay! Or bi, or something!

    BFF: [still confused]. Well, I know that.... ! For as I've known you you have always said that people love who they love and you don't care if people are male or female, if you liked them you would go for it!

    (I have said that! A lot!)

    Me: Yeah, but..... umm.....this is different because it's real! [looks sheepish] I thought you were going to freak out....!

    BFF: You know about my crush on Andrea Corr, right?

    (Andrea Corr???!! WTF?? )

    Me: I thought that was, like, an admiration thing....? Like, you want to be her?

    BFF: Umm, no! I would leave my husband for Andrea Corr in a second. And a young Meg Ryan! Before all the surgery.

    Me: [pushing at the boundary a little bit] I'm more a Sue Perkins kinda girl. She's perfect!

    BFF: Oh yeah, she's gorgeous! And funny too!

    So...... there we have it!!!!! Not at all what I was expecting!! :rolleyes:
    rac, Spygirl and Just Me like this.
  2. Just Me

    Just Me Well-Known Member

    Jul 4, 2013
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    That's awesome your friend is so supportive! Funny how much better you feel when you've finally blurted it out :)
    Bluenote likes this.
  3. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

    Jul 2, 2013
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    You'll find that if people -- friends, parents, family members -- really know you..then often our coming out is not as big as a surprise as we expect it to be :)
    Nancy, Just Me and Bluenote like this.
  4. Johille Anderson

    Johille Anderson Well-Known Member

    Feb 1, 2015
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    Hey. I really admire your friend's reaction, very accepting and relaxed. At the same time, adding a little of that sarcastic sense of humor towards the end was just convincing. I'm glad you had the chance to tell her about it. #HighFive

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