So confused

Discussion in 'Advice (Dear AE...)' started by emz, Jun 18, 2016.

  1. emz

    emz Member

    Mar 3, 2016
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    I've given up on serious relationships, so over the past few months I've just decided to have some fun. Easier said than done I have been honest with women I've got to know but I don't know how much they've been listening. Now I'm in a big predicament . Little old me against 4 women with different feelings I'm in deep shit idk what to do .
  2. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

    Jul 2, 2013
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    You continue to be honest with them...remind them what you told them at the beginning. If you've made your intentions clear, this should not be a problem as long as you actions and words actually correspond to one another.
    rainydaze likes this.
  3. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member

    Jul 2, 2013
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    Now that's a pickle and a half.

    Sounds to me like you need some space from all these women (and quite possibly all women) to get your head (and heart) sorted. When I say space I mean telling these women "I'm taking space, please don't contact me," not just "ghosting" (is that what the cool kids say?). Take some time to be yourself by yourself and hopefully it'll help you work out what you want/need.
    rainydaze likes this.
  4. rainydaze

    rainydaze Well-Known Member

    Nov 22, 2015
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    emz - You know the saying "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence?" is so true!!!

    People in relationships having struggles tend to think, "oh, it was so much easier, when I was single, and playing the field" - you know, none of the complications of committed relationships, responsibilities, communication, blah blah blah!

    People who are single and lonely tend to think, "oh, how life would be so much better if only I had someone I could come home to every night."...- you know, no more loneliness, no more wondering if you are ever going to find true love, and on and on.

    The truth is being coupled or staying single but "just having fun" - all of it involves humans! And aren't humans just so complicated!?! They have feelings and needs and expectations! They tend to Hear what they want to hear and See what they want to see....and what was supposed to be easy-breezy, always seems to be more involved and emotional than we planned when others have to be considered. Women! Can't live with 'em, Can't live without 'em! :rolleyes:

    Keep being honest & as kind as possible - even when the truth is likely going to hurt someone.
    And be Respectful and Consistent (as Spygirl pointed out)...always do what you say, say what you mean, and don't give mixed messages. Someone might not like it, but you if you are not lying and cheating or playing someone for a fool, you don't have any thing to be remorseful about... Just don't expect anyone to be happy with you, necessarily.

    Also, never a Bad idea to take Nancy's advice and give it a REST! If you are "giving up" on relationships, that is a good sign that you need to spend some time with yourself and not invite more chaos into your world. More women, more problems! Seriously!o_O
    Gyldenragg, Frazier and Bluenote like this.

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