Siblings and Gay Siblings

Discussion in 'Everything Else' started by Bluenote, Apr 11, 2015.

  1. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    AE posted this thread and it seemed like a good forum topic.

    http://www.afterellen.com/people/425755-10-celebrities-love-support-lesbian-sisters#/slide/1

    I have a gay sister. She has always been very supportive of me, both about being gay and about life in general. She was very understanding when I came out, was someone that I could talk to about girl trouble and is very happy for me now that I'm married. My sister, my wife and my MIL all get along, which is really important to me.

    I'm glad that I have a sister and glad that I have a gay sister. My Mom was beyond pissed to have two gay tomboy daughters, but that's life sometimes.

    Do you have siblings? Are they also gay? Gay or straight are they supportive of you? Have they always been good about your sexuality, or did it take them awhile to come to terms with things?
     
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  2. aussie_gabby

    aussie_gabby Well-Known Member

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    All my siblings have been very supportive. It was really great. It's not really a big deal in my family. It did take my mum a little while to come round to it but thats ok. Didn't help the first girl i brought home was kind of a douchebag.

    My brothers and sister have all been great about it. Actually i think my sister loves it. She loves knowing all about thegay scene. I think i'm letting her down these days as i no longer really do anything gay related (go to gay nights or hangout in the gay area of Sydney).
     
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  3. rac

    rac Well-Known Member

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    I'm an only child. The closest I have as siblings are my two best friends and the cousin I grew up with. The cousin was the first person I ever told I'm gay although I told my Dad soon after. My dad is my biggest supporter. He always got along with my gfs.

    Gf, on the other hand, has the most supportive brother and sister-in-law. I think she got really lucky with them, they are the best one can get with this type of situation. I get along with them but I find it easier to talk to her sis-in-law.
     
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  4. Farore

    Farore Member

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    My sister's reaction was brilliant, I couldn't have wished for a more relaxed attitude. One of my brothers doesn't mind at all and has been on skype with my girlfriend several times (he lives overseas). My other brother had made fairly homophobic remarks as a teenager and he was the only one I felt I had to sit down and have a conversation with. To my delight he had grown up a lot in the decade or so since he made those remarks (and I had seen him maturing in the years since anyway), and has since become one of my biggest supporters. In fact when my girlfriend and I broke up for a few months two years ago, his support really helped me.

    My siblings and I are really close, always have been and always will be. I love them to pieces, and they love me. My sexuality hasn't made the slightest bit of difference to our relationship, and I am really proud and happy about that :)
     
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  5. Captain

    Captain Member

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    I have 3 straight sisters. They say they still love me, however, one in particular wont talk to me for at least 24hours if she sees any sort of flirting etc around her. Would you call that supportive or tolerant??
     
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  6. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    I guess it depends on the situation. Of you are somewhat newly out, it can take awhile for family to adjust. If you've been out awhile and she still acts that way, then no - it's not supportive and is kinda crappy.
     
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  7. Captain

    Captain Member

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    out 2012... i suppose i could wait a few more years :)
     
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  8. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Yeah... congrats on coming out, btw.
     
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  9. Captain

    Captain Member

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    Why thank you :)
     
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  10. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member

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    I've been trying to put something into words for this thread, if I ramble on please forgive me.

    I am the youngest of four. My eldest sister is eleven years older than me. When I was very small I followed her round like a loon, one of my fondest memories is being allowed to play records on her record player as she did her home work. We weren't close growing up as eleven years is a massive gap when you're a kid. Then two brothers, a five and two year age gaps there. Eldest brother and I are similar, we were the "calmer" ones of the family but, we didn't really talk or hang out much in the teenage years. My next brother up from me, was practically my twin and best friend. I was a quiet (troubled) teen. My parents are religious (my dad is a Church of England Vicar), when I was realising that I was gay, well, when I was in severe denial and full of self hatred my brother was the only person who noticed I was retreating into myself. He was the first person I told and also took me to my first gay bar. I ran off to university where I embraced gay life but was still closeted to the rest of my family.

    My brother was my rock and as I've already said my best friend, he knew me better than I did. In 2005 he died suddenly from an epileptic seizure. Needless to say life changed dramatically for me that day. I felt cast adrift from the rest of my family. I had always made an effort with my sister's two young children but I didn't really feel comfortable with anyone else. My eldest brother and my sister made an effort to become friends with me. Although even now my eldest brother and I aren't very good at talking about feelings but we can talk about anything else. I came out to my brother, sister and parents in one fell swoop. My siblings have been supportive and pretty awesome about it all. My parents reacted differently to how I anticipated. My dad wasn't a problem at all and puts my happiness above everything, even having my back to a stuffy old church lady at a function I had to attend. My mum struggled with it all and although she's come a long way she sometimes still has little trip ups.

    I cannot explain to people how important my siblings have been to me in my life so far. It'll be the 10th anniversary of my brother's death in a couple of months. The words "I miss him" just don't do the feeling justice. I hope for anyone reading this that they've had support like I got from my brother, be it family member or other.
     
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  11. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    I'm really sorry about your brother.

    I know that 'I'm really sorry' or 'my deepest condolences ' don't cover what it's like to loose your rock. Or what it's like to think of all the wonderful things in life that they are missing.

    Your brother sounds like he was pretty amazing. I'm glad the rest of your family has been good.
     
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  12. Ginney

    Ginney Well-Known Member

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    I have 5 siblings and as far as I know I am the only gay one :p I am third in line and the first girl.
    All my siblings are supportive but we do not talk that often. I think its funny when any of them meet someone that is gay they always have to mention me don't know if that's good all the time hahaha. I know they all love me and would have my back plus my brother swear they always new I was gay anyway. I think they just like to say my sister is like them meaning into girls too :) It is sad when it doesn't work out like this..
     
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  13. Just Me

    Just Me Well-Known Member

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    I've been trying to sort out how to put this, and there is no short answer lol

    I've got two older sisters from my fathers side, I just found out about/met them when I was 12. My father left my mom when I was 2, and has remained absent. I've only met them about a dozen times, one is straight, the other is defiantly bi. I haven't talked to the straight one since I was about 19, she moved across the country with her husband and I lost contact. The bi one I stayed with her, and her gay male roommate, for a night when I was 17... I ran into her at a place I was waitressing at when I was 21, she ended up having a little girl and twin boys, I haven't heard from her since though.

    Then, I have an older brother I share with my mother. He's the most amazing person! There's been a lot of times in life where he's had to be the parent of the house and raise me while my mother was off gallivanting. He's always had my back and supported me no matter how messed up the situation. However, I left "home" at 16, and he also moved out when I was 14, so he wasn't aware of most of my relations; until I was in a serious relationship with a guy when I was 20. So, he rightfully assumed I was straight. I came out to him when I was 26 and started dating my fiancee... I remember trying so hard to get the words out, and failing, and failing... I don't even know why, they have gay friends, I just couldn't say it. The night I ended up spitting it out, I went randomly over to my brother and sister-inlaw's house. They were watching spongebob with my nephew, and my sister commented on one of the characters being gay. My brother responded "yeah well, it takes all sorts to make the world go around." ... I chickened out again! Then went home, got really drunk and texted them, "I don't know why I can't say this, but I'm gay". I got the "whatever makes you happy text" the next day. I couldn't face them for a month lol... I finally had dinner with them and answered all their questions, and they've been 100% supportive. I go over to my sister-inlaw's family for Sunday/holiday dinners fairly frequently, and they've all been very accepting of me and my gf. I don't know where I would be without my brother.


    Then I've got an adoptive brother and sister from the family I moved in with when I was 16. My adoptive parents were amazingly supportive of whatever I did with my life, as long as I kept it away from my younger brother and sister. Given as they were 9-8 years younger than me, they were kept fairly blind to who I was dating. Those kids were such a blessing though! Any time I had a shitty they would brighten it up in a second. My little sister would always sit and ask me how I did my make up, or advice on life, and just hang out in my room playing with my turntables listening to music. My little brother was so sweet, he would always show up at random giving hugs saying how much he loved us, he was such a dramatic boy lol! Our adoptive mother passed away when they were 11-12, and their biological father took custody of them. He had a weird thing against their mother and her family for having full custody of the kids, and wouldn't let us see them or talk to them... So, I lost contact with them for three years, until my little sister found me on Facebook and she would sneak out so we could meet up for lunch, or to get our hair done. She left her fathers house when she was 16, and we've been really close. I came out to her when I left my ex, she's been awesome about everything. My little brother was scared to see me out of fear of how his father would react, so I didn't get to see him again until he started leaving his fathers house to stay with our sister. One of my most satisfying days was going to his graduation and seeing him walk the stage to get his diploma. It was like a dream come true! He was even sitting in the exact same seat I had sat in for graduation! His father showed up last minute like the king of all used up douchebags, while all his mothers side was there to support him. Karma is fucking amazing, they'll talk to me all day while their father can't even get them to visit.


    Life without my siblings would be a sad miserable one... I would literally have no family.
     
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  14. Merzyl

    Merzyl Member

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    I personally believe it depends on a person's character, whether gay or not.
     
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