Should I tell her that I have a crush on her?

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by s6ixty_f4our, Dec 27, 2015.

  1. s6ixty_f4our

    s6ixty_f4our Member

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    I 'm confused about my situation... I don't know what to think and I'll like to ask for someones opinion. I have a online crush...We've met on a support website, she was my listener on 7 cups of tea.com an anxiety and depression site. At the time I met her I was going through a break up and I needed someone to talk to. She was very helpful and a good adviser with my situation. Few weeks later we exchanged our Instagram and then later our facebook. One day I told my crush:

    I am grateful that I've meet you. You understood me from the beginning and knew exactly what to say. I like that! Lol I love to talk...about anything! And if someone can keep up with my Gemini side it is a major plus! It is nice to share many things with someone who would listen and communicate. If we lived near each other I would totally ask you out lol

    Her reply:
    Me too. Haha well I am always here to talk, to share things, even when things aren't going so well.. I'm always here haha!! Well it's a shame I'm on the other side of the world!!

    She lives in the UK...

    When she sent me her reply I had to ask her what is her sexuality...
    she said "Well, so far I've been In two relationships with guys. But I haven't met anyone who I know I want a future with. And I wouldn't mind if it was a guy or a girl, as long as they made me happy. Does that make sense?"
    Although, she doesn't lable herself and she is finding more about herself...
    We've been talking everyday since I sent her that complement. I asked her that we should video chat sometime and she was willing to face time asap.
    She and I face time twice, I called her first and the next day she called me. There were alot of shy smiles and laughing. Giving each other complements and being kind to one another. We clicked very well, talked about anything that was on our mind. As of now we've been talking everyday.

    I have no clue what are her intentions with me, as far as I know now we are just friends.
    I really like her but I don't know what to think of this...
    It's a shame that she lives in the UK. And btw she is 18.... i
    I'm 28 year old lesbian moving on from my first love and ex best friend.
    And my crush is aware of my past heart breaks...because I vented to her before we befriended on facebook.

    Should I tell her that I like her or is she just being a kind friend?
     
    #1
  2. Dizzure

    Dizzure Member

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    Considering your past with a heartache, you really should consider whether or not you can handle if she said "no" should you ask her out. Secondly, you probably should think about the long distance aspect of the relationship. Are you financially healthy to travel back and forth England? The last and the most important thing is are you willing to lose your confidant? You mentioned you talk to her everyday now, now should she turn you down, will there be awkwardness between you two? Just a few things to get you thinking just in case you haven't already thought about them.
     
    #2
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  3. s6ixty_f4our

    s6ixty_f4our Member

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    A few days ago on facebook messagener I told her: You're like a best friend to me that I can tell you anything! And I want you to know that I have a crush on you.

    Her reply: "Thank You for being honest! Who knows what will happen in the future?!"

    And we are still talking everyday...
    I have never done this before or even have a girl I am into that is into me...I'm afraid to go any further because of distance and her age.
    I'm seeking help in this situation. Long distance relationships and dating someone that is younger than you.
     
    #3
  4. Eloise

    Eloise Well-Known Member

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    Things will probably go nowhere. The difference between 18 and 28 is vast. The distance between the UK and the US is even wider. Her telling you that who knows what will happen is probably he way of trying not to offend you.Try to remember back to when you were 18. You probably said whatever you thought would make the other person feel comfortable. She wants to be your friend and probably doesn't think the two of you will ever become anything other than FaceTime buddies.

    It's time to bring yourself back into the real world. The one right outside your own front door. If you are going to make friendships make them with people you can hang out with in person.
     
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  5. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    Please don't take this as harsh, but I'm going to be a little bit more blunt -- her statement "Thank you for being honest! Who knows what will happen in the future" is the nice way for her to say, thank you, that's nice...but she is just not into you in that kind of way. She's giving you false hope in an attempt to avoid hurting your feelings. Nothing in what she said should be construed as being into you.

    That statement combined with the circumstances:
    1. You met on a support website for anxiety and depression
    2. You're 28 and she's 18
    3. You live half a world away

    These all equate to you not living in reality. She gets and understands you because of your common need for support -- but it's also easy to be safe, on the computer, 1/2 a world away. You also need to think about WHY you are latching onto someone that's so young because in the real world -- she's yet to experience a lot of things that someone 10 years older has experienced. There's a big difference between an 18 year old and 28 year old...less of a difference as we get older and have experienced life. Nevertheless, you've created a fantasy in your head and are seeing what you want to see and hearing what you want to hear -- when what you're telling us could not be more clear. She's a good friend with the common denominator of seeking support for the same things you've sought support -- and that's huge because you think this must mean that she understands you on a deeper level. This may be true -- but that kind of understanding doesn't equate to something other than friendship being there.
     
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  6. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Even though she is not a professional therapist, I feel that it is unhealthy for her to be your friend outside of the site. I am not on it but know someone who is the listeners are not supposed to communicate outside the site and divulge personal information. Her behavior is a bit reckless for her own safety (you are a good person, but what about others?) and your recovery. Her listening to you is for you to heal and the focus should be only on that. Again, she is not a professional, but your relationship with a listener on 7cup does not sound too different from when I went through talk therapy. My therapist was not allowed to socialize with me at all, not even one bit. Also it is so easy to develop a crush on someone who is helping your emotional health. I know I did and she was not my type at all. Glad she handled me professionally when I started fixating on her for a moment and got me back on track to deal with my issues.

    I wish you peace and good health in mind and body. It maybe good to find a listener who is more vigorously trained. Please stay on track with your healing and take care of the issues you have and not get distracted by this.
     
    #6
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