Should I say something to her?

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by bluedragonfly, Sep 15, 2015.

  1. bluedragonfly

    bluedragonfly New Member

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    So I'll try not to make this too long haha. I met this girl a couple years ago and we live in different countries. I have gone and visited four times though and I always felt like there is something there. Anyways so the other day one of her friends saw a picture and messaged her saying something along the lines of "you two are such a couple, just come out already" and she showed me and I didn't really know what to say, I'm so awkward haha. I know it's really bad but I HAD to see how the rest of the conversation went because she was tilting it away so I couldn't see. I did see it later and she told him she "isn't really sure what she likes" though, but that we are just friends and it's never gone further (which is true). He said that to anyone looking, it looks like we're together. She said something like "yeah, I guess, but I don't think I'm really her type at all" or something like that. We went out to a dance party the other night and she kept grabbing my hand and hanging off me, I didn't know what to do. We talk everyday when I'm in my home country. Someone please give me some advice on what to do here because I'm lost haha, I feel like after that guy said that, something changed but I don't know what. She's also never had a boyfriend.
     
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  2. lorienczhiu

    lorienczhiu Well-Known Member

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    Here is how you tell if a girl likes you when she is grabbing your hand and showing you messages about how your friends think you might be together, provided you actually want to get with her:

    ASK HER.

    "Hey, I think you're cute, and your friend has a point - we're pretty great together. Wanna see where this goes?"

    Done. Getting the girl means taking a risk.
     
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  3. bluedragonfly

    bluedragonfly New Member

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    You have a point, thanks, I guess that thought just terrifies me because I don't want to ruin everything
     
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  4. lorienczhiu

    lorienczhiu Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, that fear is real - but that's the choice you make. You speak up, and risk the friendship, or you stay silent, and live with the regret. You decide which is scarier to you, and then you commit to the path that is right for you.

    Also, "ruining everything" can happen via a long, slow process where there is obvious interest but no one has the ovaries to take the first step. It erodes friendships just as much as confessions do. You know how you'll feel if she reacts badly and your friendship suffers; think about how you will feel in a year, if this is still how your friendship is ambiguously chugging along. It should give you some fuel to decide.
     
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  5. bluedragonfly

    bluedragonfly New Member

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    So I'm not sure what's going on at this point, I did leave her a note when I left and in it I told her, and she kind of went silent on me. I'm really confused as to why, has this ever happened to anyone?
     
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  6. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    I can only guess as you do what is going on. Hopefully she has replied by the time I post this as I am sure you would be quite anxious to hear from her. I probably have had something similar where someone just went silent when I told her my feelings. I think in my case she just didn't feel the same way. She wanted the emotional closeness that I was giving her but she didn't see me any other way than a friend. If that is your case it is best to assure her that nothing will change between you, you just want to make sure you are not passing up something more that could be between you. Tell her you can put the note thing aside and if she wants to talk ever about it she is welcome
    to.
     
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    Last edited: Sep 28, 2015
  7. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    I get that you like this girl, but do you want to set yourself up for dating someone in another country? I know that this sounds harsh, but maybe try to date someone a little closer to home.

    I understand if couples are together and then have to live apart for awhile (military service, job transfer, etc...). But I don't understand setting up to date someone that you don't get to see very often.
     
    #7
    iceblinkluck and greylin like this.

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