Should I ask her to go out with me?

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by Olivia, Apr 20, 2014.

  1. Olivia

    Olivia Member

    Apr 20, 2014
    Likes Received:
    So I am 18 and there is this girl I really like. It just turned out that she is open to almost anything and is therefore pansexual?
    Anyways she has definitely been showing signs of attracting (body facing me, does not leave my side at partys, dancing with me, I always catch her staring at me) but she also said that she has never been in love before.

    I really don't want to come on too strong and that is why I ignore her sometimes and she is the type of person who gets easily bored (is this info even relevant:D).
    Since we are graduating and we only have a few well two to be exact one mutual friend we might not see each other.. ever? again!

    Should I ask her to go out with me? I have never done this before and I am really afraid to be rejected ://
  2. Dalo

    Dalo Well-Known Member

    Oct 30, 2013
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    The keys to asking a woman out is this:
    -Let your fear of regret be greater than your fear of rejection.
    -REALLY BELIEVE that you're awesome, and she would be lucky to have you.

    A few weeks, months, or years from now, you might realize that she actually liked you too! But because you didn't do anything, you never had a chance to have her. Would you be able to live with that? I wouldn't. Remind yourself - no matter how she reacts, she's probably very flattered that you're attracted to her that way. You should never feel scared about giving someone a compliment [which is basically what you're doing when asking a woman out...]

    Since you might never see her again, what's the harm in trying?

    Just tell her: "Hey, I think you're an amazing person and I would like to get to know you a lot better over this time we have left together. Let's do something." You can give her a "wink-wink" and laugh it off if you're good with humor. Be direct. Don't be afraid to flirt. You have nothing to loose. Even if it doesn't work out - at least you got some practice and experience in approaching women. You'll only get better.
  3. TADinUS

    TADinUS Well-Known Member

    Jan 25, 2014
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    I hated being young and shy. If only I was still young with my experiences!

    Dalo is correct.

    Really. You cannot LOSE something you never had.

    You can't really embarrass yourself. You are both young, and every experience is a step towards getting better at it. View it that way. Do you play video games? Think of your favorite game... and how BAD you were when you first played it. Same with relationships.

    I had to tell a 14yr old family member that she WILL not find her prince charming at 18, graduate from college and get married at 21, have a baby a year later. But she is smart and understood somewhat I was telling her.

    You have a long future ahead of you. Going to college and meeting ALL kinds of new people who are NOT kids you grew up with. Be careful, and enjoy life.

    Have fun with this girl, become friends. Even when you both go your own way, you can chat on facebook... give each other advice, etc.

    - Pansexual: Isn't much different from bisexual. Not sure what the real difference is. Something like this: Pan falls in love with a person-type/personality. Gender doesn't matter. bisexual = attracted to both genders, can fall in love with either or both. Being turned on by two people of different genders at the same time is amusing.

    Realistically, you won't likely know what kind of person you like until you're over 25years old. One of my good friends, who I love dearly, who I have stripped naked to shower her up clean (drunk) and put her in my bed, both of us naked. We flirt and done some grabby from time to time. But we didn't have sex. She's a friend first and as much as I love her, we are not compatible as a couple or sexually. She's a hottie too. But with EXPERIENCE, I learned what I am attracted to.

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