she treats me.badly

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by travelbug209, Jan 29, 2014.

  1. travelbug209

    travelbug209 Member

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    I could use some advice. My girlfriend and I have been together for 6 months. The past couple of weeks I've beeaher house because I hadnt quite started the lease at my new place.I wasn't expecting to hang out with her anymore than usual but she ignored me the whole time as she was gaming all day. Her friend came over once , they ignore me akl day,and they got really drunk and started being dicks to me and then had the audacity to askme to pick them.up some dinner. At this stage I told her how much this was upsetting me and that I felt like she didn't care about me and that I was alwe t priority. She hadn't.realized and felt really bad about it. She put in.more effort after that. The last night I was there I was about to go overseas for a month. She went to a party durin the day (at like 12) so we would hang out that night as I had a really early flight She didn't return til 10.30 pm with no effort to contact me. I was really mad and sent a message saying that and that I was going.to.bed.in their spare room so.I could.get enough sleep before my trip.and.not.ve woken by her getting.home. I also said I could get a lift with someone else if.need be. She arrived hone and I.hadnt.slept yet because I was so mad and she burst into tears and I comforted her for a while. We talked about it.and she said she thought it would be fine when were both back at uni.because we had.never had this.problem.before we were living together. Now a few days later I'm.overseas and managed to find.an opportunity yo Skype her. We talked for five minutes before she said that her friends wanted her to Skype while they were gaming so she had to go. I was visibly annoyed vut didn't say anything and we hung.up. I sent a message that said wekk that's kinda annoying. She hasbt replied a day later.

    I don't know what to do because I feel like she's treating me badly, she even said she's been taking me for granted but then she gets so.upset and renorseful about it that.its hard to be mad. We kind if concluded the other night that she knew that I would always ve there so she could ignore me as much as she wanted and still get enough time wjth ne. I on the other hand kept sacrificing other things I coumd be doing so we would.have time.together. I don't know how to approach it from here. Im sicj of feeling like the nagging girlfriend. Ive thought that I should just step.back and wait for.her.to actually out some.effort in again. If she wants to skype saying.that ill only do it if she makes.the time because I'm really busy and can't be bothered putting tge effort in.if.she's going to bail on me in five minutes. I don't think im.clingy. in.fact ive thought about breaking up, not that I want to, but its really driving ne.off the edge. But she says shed hate to.give me.an excuse to leave her so its not like she's doing the slow fade and I'm.clinging on unnecessarily.

    I would really appreciate any insight as ive lost all perspective on.this.
     
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  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Expectations can be tiresome, can't they? I think this (staying at her place) was a good test of how compatible you are with each other. If you happen to like doing similar things, (like gaming) then things would have been a hoot during your stay with her. Your expectations are not crazy or clingy it is just not what she can always handle.

    Btw, I would not compare what you do for her vs what she does for you. Because that can cause a list of wrongs and sacrifices to form. Those lists can really bind a relationship with all the wrong things and scar a person's heart. I think you two are not ready to call it quits because you had good connections when you dated, yes? Try dating again and just do the things to set aside time to be gather. Make your meetings fun and special. Don't go into living arrangements and future planning yet. If you can take it back and it is still fun, then there is something there to go on.
     
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  3. sundancer

    sundancer Well-Known Member

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    One of my favourite sayings is that what we think is common sense actually isn't common. It can be applied to almost anything that we feel is logical, such as your gf treating you the way she does versus what and how your want her to treat you. From what you're saying, you're feeling like you want her more than she does you, and that she takes your for granted. Have you considered what it means to truly value yourself / figured out your self worth? Thoughts about your girlfriend aside, what would you envision your ideal relationship to be like? Would it be worth it for the both of you to try and work the relationship out together?
     
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