Sex with the ex..

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by annalyseme, Sep 25, 2013.

  1. annalyseme

    annalyseme Active Member

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    So here's the thing. I just needed to relate this story, cause i can't relate it to many people in my entourage.
    My first true love story happened about 8 years ago in high school.
    After almost a year dating, my gf and I broke up due to social pressures and due to my crazy belief that, i should let her live a normal life. I left her heart broken but, she was able to carry on with her life and was almost married to some guy. After a very long relationship (about 6 years) they broke up and I got back in the picture again. We never really lost sight of each other. But after she broke up, we grew a little closer and talked almost everyday, i was there to comfort her.
    We as grown up adults decided we would be having some fun. IN other words, fun & sex.

    I thought i could be the detached one but it seems like after doing it, it was her who was the most detached about it.
    After this night, i couldn't stop thinking about her. I wouldn't stop asking her questions about our "the night".
    To make things worse she told me that it felt like it was something "unfinished". she's even worried that it might have stirred old feelings.
    This made me go a little mad and then am thinking - never do it with her again. I have some ego issues now lol!!
    Even though, I am really into her and want to be hugging her and kiss her. I don't believe that i am in love. Cos' after my first relationship with her, i've fallen madly in love with other girls and i got really crazy for them. I had great alchemy with them and felt like the most happiest person on earth. It might also be a like a quest. I like the idea to conquer the hearts of people.

    But one thing for sure is even if it was 8 years ago, this girl here is my first love. I don't know if i have a chance to start a relationship. Don't know if i want to have a relationship cos i want her to live her happy married life.
    Anyway, i don't even know if she even wants me.
    SO here I am just wanting to share my story finally!

    thanks for taking the time to read
     
    #1
  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    I can't tell if you are asking for advice, but I would just like to say that if you really like someone, all you can do is try your best to be sincere and see if she wants you. It is very unfair for you to decide for her that she should have a "normal" married life. Her decisions and choices in such matters are hers only as she is an adult. Good luck and I hope you find what you are looking for.
     
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  3. annalyseme

    annalyseme Active Member

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    Thanks for the advice. I tend to make decisions for people and usually forget that they're adults too and make their own decision.

    I know love is different with different people. I am a bit lost and not sure whether i am in love with her.
    like i've said it before i've known girls after her and have felt so much happiness and euphoria with them. we had a lot of fun together.
    With this girl, i feel stable and want to make her happy.
    I just hope that time will tell.
     
    #3
  4. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for taking my criticism with such grace. I didn't realize how gruff I sounded till I reread it!

    I think I would be very confused about my feelings when I meet with an old flame from my youth. Even though I have grown in to a ripe old woman, I can meet with someone from high school and I could almost react the way I was when I was a teen. I would get really surprised by myself for I thought I had matured (at last) and grown in confidence. I thought I had learned what was really important in life and if I were to go back in time knowing what I know now I would own that period of time hands down. Well, yet, meeting someone who was very important to you can really take you back.

    In the same way you were probably taken back in time, she might be too. She is probably reliving that broken heart and wonder if this is just a thing and should keep it as no big thing. I can understand that you are confused and cautious, certainly you would not want to break her heart again.

    If you were to take away your mutual history and what you think her life should be, who would she be to you? Would she be someone you can fall madly in love with and want to be together with?
     
    #4
  5. annalyseme

    annalyseme Active Member

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    Haha no it wasn't gruff! and i appreciated your comment cos it made me realise that bad habit of mine.

    I think that you got the exact point of what i am going through at the moment.
    To answer your last question (very good question indeed) i think i need to think about it and the answer is i don't know.

    If she was a total stranger, i might not have fallen for her at first sight. But i might have fallen in love with her personality.
    I believe i need to think about it.

    Last time i was with her was a week ago and being next to her is a torture to me. Cos i have that need from deep inside to hug her and kiss her. Plus it was also her birthday and i kinda exaggerated buying her a gift and even met her on her birthday just to give it to her.
    So am thinking as a friend, i wouldn't have gone that extra mile.

    AM totally stuck.. but i am going to think about it! :) thanks a lot for your support
     
    #5

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