Several Questions

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by tbd, Sep 5, 2018.

  1. tbd

    tbd New Member

    Sep 5, 2018
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    Hi.. I'm new to this so thanks for any help you can give. I actually had several questions swirling around in my mind.. an answer to any of these would be so helpful!

    1. Can you know you're a lesbian without having dated anyone but after having seen many lesbian tv show/movie characters and feeling that you deeply relate to them?: Like some others, I feel like I first figured out I might like women after seeing a lesbian couple on tv. Before, when I would see heterosexual couples on the screen, I felt nothing and would sometimes look away during intimate scenes in general uninterest. But when I see two women together, it’s so beautiful and gives me all the feels. I also have crushes on some girls sometimes, but other than that, I have no experience to know for sure that I really do like women. Can anyone relate to this or think it is possible to know solely off of this?

    2. What does it mean when a girl touches you on the thigh?: A girl I recently met has become so touchy with me lately. I never really thought of her like that before.. but we started hanging out more often lately, and she has already started to put her hand on my thigh anytime she’s laughing or realizes something. Sometimes when we’re watching a movie or something, I’ll put my arm out on the couch arm rest, and often she’ll grab it at some point to get my attention. Other than that, she doesn’t ever really reach out to me on a daily basis since we’re both pretty busy, but I just don’t understand why she does this and how I’m supposed to respond.. is there anything I can do or say to figure out what it means?

    3. How to come out after you've already denied it pretty overtly?: I’ve considered coming out several times, but this past year alone, I feel like I’ve denied being gay a lot. For example, a girl asked me out and I told her I wasn’t into girls. Also, when a gay girl asked me my sexual orientation, I just quickly said I don’t know.. I guess straight. Basically, anytime someone would ask.. I would get really nervous and answer that I like guys/ am straight - which I think pretty much gave it away. But now I’m nervous to go back on everything I said, esp since some of my responses sometimes made it seem like I am not accepting of homosexuality, even though I definitely am. I was just so nervous for people to know before I was ready, and now I feel like I’ve dug too deep of a hole. Any advice?
    Also, I realize I shouldn't have responded in the ways I have.. but I get really anxious about people knowing before I know for sure. I come from a really conservative community. There was a popular girl in my school who recently came out and it was the biggest talk of the community.. and I really don't want to be known for this. I just like to be unseen.. and coming out would make that difficult.

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