Server hinting or being typical charmer for t...

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by carrie4, Jan 13, 2014.

  1. carrie4

    carrie4 Member

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    Can't believe I'm doing this, but here it goes:
    In August a friend and I went to a local restaurant for a late night snack. Right away I made nice with the waitress by joking and making small talk, as one would with a friendly waiter. It's very rare that I meet someone and feel that comfortable with right away. Ever since then the same friend and I have frequented that place on about a monthly basis. I'm basically trying to figure out if the waitress, whom I'm now on a first name basis with, is just being a typical waitress or if she's dropping hints.
    The friend I go with is a guy. I can't tell if she thinks we're a couple or not. She doesn't treat us like one, thankfully. One night we're there I order an alcoholic beverage. I gave her my ID and she looked at it, for what seemed like a longer amount of time than the typical waiter would look at one. One could argue that she was just doing the math, but with my birth year it's obvious that I'm in the clear. My friend even gave me a look knowing that she was taking her time with it. The next time we were there my friend had ordered a drink, I tried it and liked it. She noticed and brought me out one. She didn't charge me for it. The time after that, as we were walking in she walked by and said (paraphrasing), "I know you want that drink again." My friend and I looked at each other kind of surprised that after a month or so she had remembered. Plus I wasn't even the one who initially ordered that particular drink. My friend's mind was kind of blown with the fact that he was the one who ordered it, but it was me that she remembered with it. Anyway, that same night she did something that they're really not suppose to. I even asked her if it was allowed and she replied, "Technically we're not suppose to. I like you though." When she said the "I like you" part she made direct eye contact with me and gave a little smile. Now two things I definitely noticed are, that when she talks to us she only looks at me. My friend will ask her a question, but she'll look at me when answering. The other thing is that she does that typical waitress thing were some of them call customers, "honey, sweetie, etc.". The only thing is, I never hear her call anyone else that when we're there. I've tried to listen when she's at other tables and I haven't heard her call anyone else any of those words. I'm the one that always pays, so I tend to tip her generously. That makes me wonder if she's just being extra nice to me because she knows I'm the one paying. Or if there's more to her actions toward me.
    I'm not quite sure what to make of all of this. I know that if I want to get to know her I'll have to start asking questions. I'm a fairly shy person, who isn't the most confident when it comes to initiating conversations. I'm always worried that I'm going to offend someone by asking a personal question. Even though it's actually pretty basic questions that they probably get asked all the time. I don't know how much longer I can go without getting anywhere with her. The worst that can happen is that she can turn me down. Not a big deal, I'd get over it. Like I mentioned earlier, she is very easy to talk to. I just don't want to come on too direct while I'm trying to get to know her. I'll have to ease into it without making a complete fool of myself.
    If you read all of this, thank you. Sorry it was so long. I tried to stick to the point.
     
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  2. rabbitheart

    rabbitheart Well-Known Member

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    Re: Server hinting or being typical charmer f...

    Why don't you ask her if she would like to hang out sometime? It's a pretty innocent question that doesn't necessarily have to make subsequent trips to that restaurant awkward in the event that it turns out she isn't actually interested. When you hang out, you can start to gauge whether she is gay, single, or actually interesting to you (since you probably don't know her well enough at this point to tell if you really want to date her). Worst case scenario you pick up another friend to hang around with.
     
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  3. julie

    julie Well-Known Member

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    Re: Server hinting or being typical charmer f...

    from what you are saying it does sound like she is being extra nice to you. so you should definitely ask her to hang out sometime outside the restaurant. or if you are too shy to ask her directly, just write something on the check :) that's how i would do it. Keep us updated please and good luck :)
     
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  4. carrie4

    carrie4 Member

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    Re: Server hinting or being typical charmer f...

    Thank you for the replies. Both actually seem to have the same idea. I'm definitely taking that into consideration. I've asked one of my girl friends to come with me, to see if the dynamics change in the waitress' behavior. Plus then maybe I can see if she's assuming my guy friend and I are a couple. Then I'll know that it really is just for the tips.
     
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  5. Counselor

    Counselor Member

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    Re: Server hinting or being typical charmer f...

    this thing seems like it's been going on for a while, and that is not good, cz the longer you wait, anticipation builds up inside you and if u eventually do get the girl she will be way less than what you excpected...that is why one must not wait so long before actually taking a step.
    being extremely shy myself to the point that i have never ever made a move myself, i totally understand what you're going through, and the fear of rejection that you have.
    now here's the skill that ive come to master in my years and it will help you make people always take the first step:

    1- i introduce myself to ppl as someone who is never ever serious
    2- use sarcasm as often as possible. SARCASM IS YOUR BIBLE
    3- declare carelessness as often as possible to people, events blablabla
    4- show intense moments of caring and interest but for short periods and very scarcely

    that being done, you can drop serious hints hidden in the first step and second step of the program, entice a challenge in ppl to make you care, and show true brilliant surprising and amazing colors that will get them addicted and pray for more.

    now if you do this, this girl will be confused as hell and the truth abt her feelings towards u will slip out.

    good luck
     
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