Scared or attention seeker?

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by Prennu, Aug 19, 2015.

?

Is she...

  1. Scared of being gay

    1 vote(s)
    100.0%
  2. Likes the attention

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. Prennu

    Prennu New Member

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    This is my first ever post so please be gentle. My story starts like this, I met this girl at work and I didn't think much of her until she started pursuing me. We became close friends and she shared with me that she had just broken up with her bf because he got someone else pregnant. She was pretty heartbroken and I was there for her. Nothing really happened we would just text each other all night and then see each other at work but no one ever knew we were friends *red flag no.1*. We eventually went on a date and it was amazing and she had a good time but then a few days later I see from her status updates that she is back with her ex wtf *red flag no.2*. So I was kinda hurt but we had never discussed being more than friends so I had no reason to be jealous. Eventually we go out and her bf is there too but we get so carried away talking in the bathroom that we miss the whole show. Her bf get mad and leaves her. she starts crying but eventually she goes to look for him. She still ignores me at work and talks about her bf to everyone except me. We stop chatting as often but eventually we go to the show again this time without her bf. We get drunk and then we start making out in my bed. I stop her cause I was too drunk and it didn't feel right. The next day it's all good and we go to work but a few days later it's back to ignoring me and now she spends her days on the phone with her bf. Eventually I leave my job and I tell her the truth mainly cause of her and how working together is too difficult. She says she gets it and tells me that I made her realize something but she won't tell me what. There's a lot more to this story but I fear its already too long. Anyway now I don't work with her but she still yo-yo's me. One day it's me the next it's all posts about how she loves him. He doesn't like me much or her talking to me. He asks her if she's lesbian and why does she talk to me. I can't figure out if she is scared or just an asshole. Please help!
     
    #1
  2. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    It doesn't matter. She is in an emotionally unhealthy relationship with her bf. She is in an emotionally unhealthy relationship with you.

    It doesn't matter why. Is it because she is scared to be gay? Ok, so she would then be an emotionally unhealthy person who is scared to be gay.

    Is it because she likes attention? Ok, then she is an emotionally unhealthy person who likes attention.

    Neither bodes well. Your options with her are 1) get jerked around by an emotionally unhealthy closet case or 2) get jerked around by an emotionally unhealthy drama queen. Neither is a good option, neither is 'happily ever after.'

    It is easy to rationalize what we want to happen "if she just came out, we would be gfs. We would be so happy ." But the truth is, she is mixed up about more than just her sexuality. She plays you off the bf. I am guessing she says bad things to the bf about you. She is stuck in an unhealthy relationship. She treats you like a dirty little secret. She has you both hooked into her game. It got to the point you had to switch jobs !! All this drama doesn't just come from her sexuality- it comes from her. Gayness aside, she has real issues about how she treats (uses) people. Gay, straight, bi or fauxbian - she still will have those issues.

    So listen to your gut about those red flags. And run, do not walk.

    There are lots of nice, cute, out, not crazy gay girls. Do not settle for drama girl and her bf who is someone else's baby daddy.

    Read those last two sentences over and over. Do you want a) cute, out, not crazy? or B) drama queen and her bf the baby daddy?

    I know she has you pretty reeled in and you have lost perspective (hey, it happens) But just keep reading those two sentences over and over.
     
    #2
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  3. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    She sounds really scared and fear can turn someone into an asshole. She is a train wreck and she is going to get you or some other girl in trouble with her guy. People have been harmed for a lot less out of jealousy.

    Speaking of a jealous boyfriend, please consider not posting your rl picture here with a story of making out with her.

    And, above all, learn to be happy. A happy person who encounters the first yo, or maybe 1/2 way through the second y..o would have stopped the wtf in its tracks long ago. Perhaps youth has afforded you more patience with her. I hope you find people and things that will bring you joy in the near future and you are happy in your new job. (So unfair you had to quit).
     
    #3
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  4. Eloise

    Eloise Well-Known Member

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    You did the right thing by putting the breaks on your romantic evening together. You don't want to get involved with this one.
     
    #4
    Bluenote likes this.
  5. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    The answer to your question is: it doesn't matter. Scared? Likes the attention? It does NOT matter. This person is not healthy on so many levels -- from taking the boyfriend back AFTER he got someone else pregnant, to playing you and the boyfriend off of each other. Even if she were gay and proudly admitting it, you can bet that she'd still be playing you much in the same fashion she is now.

    For people like her....everything is about "ME." What is good for her in the second. The minute she thinks you're pulling away, she comes up with crap like "she's realized something"...to keep you interested and hanging on. Her actions shows she has absolutely no self-respect and if she doesn't respect herself why would you even remotely think that she'd care about you?

    Get away from this one for good.
     
    #5
    Bluenote and Nancy like this.
  6. Prennu

    Prennu New Member

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    Thank you sooo much for the feedback. I know you are all right. I just needed to hear it from someone other than my bff. The only reason I let it go so far is because I remember once falling for a girl and then running scared to my ex bf. Worst mistake of my life and losing her was painful. I've long since changed my ways and am sure of myself these days. So I can understand fear. I guess I will have to move on. It's not that easy but I shall be strong...I hope :) and profile pic removed thanks for the heads up greylin.
     
    #6
    Bluenote likes this.

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