Same College Dilemma! Help!

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by smiles4miles, Feb 16, 2014.

  1. smiles4miles

    smiles4miles Active Member

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    Hi! So I have a kind of a long confusing situation that I desperately need help. I’m a senior in high school and so this is the time of college apps and acceptances. Recently, back in December, my best friend got accepted to her early decision school. I was beyond thrilled for her, but there are two important things about this: this was a school I considered my #1 school too (secretly) and I have feelings for my best friend (also secretly).

    I’ve known this girl for years and I’ve had feelings for her since 8th grade. But we have the most amazing, wonderful friendship. So while I have strong feelings for her, I would never act on them because I never want to screw up this friendship and she’s straight (and she doesn’t know I’m bi yet, but I know she’ll be accepting of me if I tell her, I just haven’t come out yet to anyone). I just love her and don't want to ruin/lose a good thing.

    Also, the school she was accepted to is also my #1 choice. I never told her or any of my friends this because I didn’t want to cause any awkwardness or possible competition. My college guidance counselor suggested I apply in the Early Decision II pool to that school since she knew how much I loved it and wanted to better my chances after my best friend got in (since she goes to the same high school as me right now). So I did that, not telling my best friend or other friends that I did this, and on Monday I was accepted!

    So now I know this is the college I’m going to in the fall, which is super exciting! However, I haven’t told my best friend yet and I’m nervous to do that. I’m not sure if she’ll be happy having me there or not. Also, I don’t know how she’ll react to hearing that I secretly applied ED II right after her acceptance. I need advice on how to tell her. How should I do it?

    Also, just in general, I’m nervous about what going to college with her will do to our friendship. The fact that I have feelings for her (which I’m trying not to) complicates things too. I really just want to have a super great friendship with her and become nothing more in college, but I also don’t want to lose her. I’m scared that having her at the same school could damage our friendship. If any of you went to college with your best friend or a girl you really liked, how did it turn out for you? Were you able to stay as close as you were in high school and if so, what did you guys do to maintain that closeness?

    If you have any advice about any of this, please let me know. I’m struggling so much right now. Thank you.
     
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  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Friendships should not be that fragile in the first place. It should be able to withstand a person becoming all she can be. You just want to succeed in life and do your best, she should understand it being your best friend and all. If she doesn't then she is not even at the level of an acquaintance. You applied after her acceptance, you didn't try to compete with her so you are really really in the clear.

    BTW, you are so smart about the college stuff and went about it the best way and have the best outcome imaginable. I would be dancing up and down the street telling my best friend. Go to your favorite college and enjoy your experiences there. You will find interesting people and so will your friend. If it is meant to be you two will work out your friendship naturally.

    Congrats and I am so happy for you.
     
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