Really need some advice, did it mess it up?

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by KelseyK1992, Jun 25, 2015.

  1. KelseyK1992

    KelseyK1992 Member

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    Hi :)

    I really need some advice as I'm really confused. Sorry if this is long. I had been talking to this girl for a while, we would talk a lot online mostly but she lived like an hour away and worked a lot. She seemed super into me. I told her all my problems, that I felt lost, she was super sweet, the coolest girl I have ever spoken too and I was getting into her and then bam, she stops all communications and deletes her profile that we communicated most on. I will admit one thing, I freaked out because she was taking things a bit fast and would say things like "That helps with the next stage =p" when I told her of course she's my type and I'd sleep with her. I lied and told her I had been with quite a few girls and my last girlfriend put me off dating and that I have 10,000 messages in my inbox on tinder, it's actually 8500 because I said I want to talk to guys and girls on the site so lots of guys like me, I'm only looking for girls though, I only told her that to let her know that I'm interested and that's why I mostly talk to her and when she writes to me I get excited because she said to me first that she stays up for hours to talk to me. She seemed a bit confused, we talked a bit more and then I checked the next day and her profile was deleted. I don't get it though.
     
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    Last edited: Jul 2, 2015
  2. KelseyK1992

    KelseyK1992 Member

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    Oh, by the way, I forgot to add that she was older than me and had her shit together and I'm a bit immature so I guess I just pushed her away, do you have any tips on how to basically stop being an idiot and talk to girls properly?
     
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  3. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    First, don't post private messages that she sent you on a public forum. It's violating her privacy.

    Second, don't lie. If you are looking for a serious relationship with a girl, don't say that you are bi and playing the field.

    She either sensed that you were lying, or thought you gals didn't want the same thing, or both.

    If her profile is gone and you have no way of contacting her, then that is probably the end of it. It's too bad.

    Third, be honest with girls and don't play games. Games can back fire and you get burned.
     
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  4. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    I don't like game playing either. But if I may, I would venture to say to you, Kelsey that you are not comfortable with what you want and who you are. I think a lot of people are to some degree but in your case you are throwing a lot of misdirections because something about the people who approach you is not really what you want. If you want intimacy but in a way where you take a while to get to know that person, it is really okay.

    You probably are not ready to rush off with this person and that is ok, only it is better if you just told the truth and not have to keep track of the white lies. (I do think the white lies are cranked out by your defense mechanism). When someone deletes his/her profile without a word and go dark, it is not someone who is in a sincere situation with you anyway. We are halfway through 2 thousand frigging 15 and someone sang "I am Woman hear me roar" way back in the 70's, so be real, be yourself and roar away. Be who you are and tell people what you want. Good luck, :)
     
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  5. KelseyK1992

    KelseyK1992 Member

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    Thanks for the advice hun :) It's not that I'm insecure with my sexuality, I'm insecure with my self right now so I get a bit confused
     
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  6. Eloise

    Eloise Well-Known Member

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    Oh Honey, everyone's confused about themselves at 22. You need to narrow things down a bit. If you honestly know you're just looking for girls, then change your profile. I don't know how tinder works but 8,500 hits is insane. How can you possibly work your way through them to determine if there's someone right for you!

    I've seen quite a few women post on the EA forums who seem very confused when the object of their affections blows them off after they intimate they're not interested. And, that's exactly what you did. She was obviously on Tinder because she was interested in you and when you said you had other interests it hurt her feelings. It's no wonder she disappeared.

    Weed out your emails. Make the necessary changes to your profile. Look only at women close to home. And, never, NEVER tell a woman you aren't interested if you are. If that scares you, just go with it and see where it leads you.
     
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  7. sela9

    sela9 Well-Known Member

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    Why didn't you guys ever meet up? An hour away isn't very far...
     
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    greylin likes this.
  8. KelseyK1992

    KelseyK1992 Member

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    Thanks for the advice :)
     
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