Reality vs Drunken Reality

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Elphaba417, Dec 28, 2013.

  1. Elphaba417

    Elphaba417 Member

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    I work with a girl (I am a lesbian, she's been with girls but never had a relationship with one before) and one night we went out to a bar with a few other coworkers and we ended up kissing - with tongue. She initiated it and she was super drunk. I have a girlfriend, she is into this guy. It was honestly the best kiss I've ever had. Anyway she asked me to come home with her, I did but didn't want to sleep with her because of my gf and also because she was so drunk I didn't want her to regret it in the morning, so we just cuddled. Over the next couple days we talked a bit about it and she said she doesn't regret it and had fun but doesn't know if she would ever feel that way about me but she does enjoy spending time with me and would like to keep talking to me ect... Plus I can tell she likes that guy. I said I would be happy with being just friends and she said she feels bad because she doesn't want me upset. I said I wouldn't be but honestly, ever since that night she is all I can think of. I can't even eat because I just want her so bad.

    A couple days later we went out again for a former coworkers birthday with her kinda-boyfriend and my girlfriend, and my coworker and I kissed 3 separate times in the bathroom. Again, she was pretty drunk and she initiated them. When I talk to her and she isn't drunk she says she doesn't want to hurt me and she is confused about what she wants and doesn't want to lose a friend (although before this I only ever talked to her at work) - don't know if this means anything but one time she told me about a sex dream she had about me - this was before we had ever kissed or even hung out outside of work. I don't know what to do because I am starting to fall for her and my girlfriend is not measuring up even though before we kissed I was fine (although we had our problems). And honestly, I think it likely is all sexual on my coworkers part so I don't think she would ever have feelings for me. She seems pretty into the guy. But she's like a drug and I can't stay away even though I know I will get hurt. What do I do? I just want to keep kissing her. I've never been so attracted to anyone before, even my gf. I know I should feel bad about doing this to my gf but find I don't. Which probably makes me a terrible person. She's cheated on me in the past a couple times but that is no excuse. Sometimes I feel like I should break up with my gf so I don't hurt her and just enjoy whatever happens or doesn't happen with the coworker. Like just have some fun and if it becomes friends with benefits oh well. Sometimes I think I could do that - although she's getting pretty in to this guy and I can tell it, but I am not a friends with benefits kind of girl and I've also never cheated on anyone before. So something needs to change. If my coworker was for sure into me with no guy I would choose her in a heartbeat but that's sadly not the case... so do I stay with my gf even though she's suddenly not what I want. Part of me I think is scared to be alone so if I leave my gf just to maybe have a couple makeout sessions or even nothing at all with my coworker I feel like I will regret it in the end. My gf and I have been together for about 2 and a half years.

    Oh, and also, the first night when I went home with her she was talking like she would maybe try dating me - like she was mentioning that we work together which she thought might be a problem and asking if my parents knew I was a lesbian, stuff like that which led me to believe she might give me a chance. At that time she and the guy she likes had been going through a rough patch (they've been 'dating' for maybe 3 weeks now). But obviously they were there together this last time and she still kissed me... so I am so lost right now.
     
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  2. Oxy

    Oxy Member

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    Okay, let's take a step back here, get some perspective, and lay down some facts.

    You are cheating on your girlfriend of 2 and half years. You are cheating on your girlfriend of 2 and half years on someone who doesn't know what or who she wants. You are cheating on your girlfriend of 2 and a half years with a woman who doesn't know what or who she wants and she happens to be your co-worker. This woman is still involved with this guy while drunkenly making out with you on the side, and you're willing to throw away a long-term relationship for that? Honey, please.

    This woman is new and exciting and yes, we all like to have those little butterflies in our stomachs at the thought of someone new, but get real: This girl is using you. She is playing both you and the guy she's dating. I'm sure she's a very nice person, but when someone doesn't know what they want, it is not your job to make their decisions for them. That being said, only you will make the decision that you want, but I don't see this ending well and neither do you. If you leave your girlfriend for this woman, you could very well end up all alone and you know it. What you have to ask yourself is whether or not this dalliance is actually worth the pain it may cause both you and your girlfriend in the end.

    On one hand you've got lust (the co-worker) and on the other you have love (?) and stability (the girlfriend). You could also choose neither and go your own way. That is up for you to decide.
     
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  3. tetetar

    tetetar Active Member

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    < stands up and claps at Oxy's response >

    "Okay, let's take a step back here, get some perspective, and lay down some facts. You are cheating on your girlfriend of 2 and half years. You are cheating on your girlfriend of 2 and half years on someone who doesn't know what or who she wants...Honey, please."

    I have nothing more to add cos Oxy said it all... except that it's not reality when it's "drunken".
     
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  4. KayyCee23

    KayyCee23 Member

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    2 and a half years. The only thing I've concluded from this post is the fact that you should just end it with your current gf. It's obviously clear like you stated, you're afraid of being alone. Which I'm not judging nor saying anything bad about you, we've all as lesbians probably had the fear at some point of being alone, I just honestly feel really bad for your gf.
     
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