public affection

Discussion in 'Advice (Dear AE...)' started by Shelly, Mar 3, 2014.

  1. Shelly

    Shelly Member

    Feb 27, 2014
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    Hi AE,

    Me and my girlfriend have been together for 5 yrs and we have problems whenever were in public, see I see no problem holding hands and acting like girlfriends but she will not have anything to do with that. I feel like shes embarrassed of me and it makes me so angry when we go out her not even paying attention to me the only time she shows affection is in the bedroom and then I feel like she just wants me to rub her back cuz she dosent want sex. We really get along great and each others best friends but I don't know what to do. She says she loves me but again she doesn't do anything in public not even in gay bars or when were with our gay friends! Help me please!

    Thanks S
  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

    Jul 4, 2013
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    I have a problem with PDA myself, as in I don't like making out in public. Holding hands in gay friendly situations and having affectionate body language with each other, I love. As shy as I am it would frustrate me what you are describing and you two are not on the same page, especially when it comes to the bedroom. Maybe you can compromise where you do not expect any pda and she can be more attentive in the bedroom. You are not feeling the love and it is definitely something to work on. Otherwise, you two are simply mismatched.
  3. Dalo

    Dalo Well-Known Member

    Oct 30, 2013
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    I think you should sit her down and have a proper discussion about where her behavior is stemming from. It doesn't sound like she simply has a problem with PDA - she seems to have a problem with physical intimacy in general. You both should address this head-on.
    -Is it just a dislike for PDA only?
    -Does she have some internalized homophobia?
    -Is she happy with your relationship?
    -Is she concerned about your safety when out in public as a same-sex couple?
    -Was she raised in a "conservative" religious household?
    -Has she had a past experience with sexual assault, domestic abuse, or a violent relationship?

    There could be several reasons behind her actions, be patient and talk to her.

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