Please, please help. I’ve got myself in such a pickle.

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by Only for awhile, Oct 17, 2018.

  1. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    I obsessively worry I am mean to someone who posts and someone asking for help. One time I called someone despicable for wanting to entice someone to cheat and another long term poster said I did not need to be mean. That stuck with me. Soon as I responded to you, the writer, I wondered if I were being mean to you and went and asked my gf for advice. I disagree with people at times. If I happen to disagree with you it does not mean I am stalking you. I worry often if I were doing the right thing trying to help someone who seems to have no one else to talk to about the situation they are in so they went to a forum of hopefully welcoming women. I tried to be diplomatic in my disagreement. I was surprised you addressed me directly. I did not mean anything to anyone here but want to help the people who post.
    —- Edit:
    And truly, I do not remember interjecting anything else you, the writer have posted. It was mothers day and I took time away from our family to see if the OP was ok. I meant what I said that I worry how she is doing. She had been in a bad illness. We are in a pandemic. Emotional stress don’t help.
     
    #61
    Last edited: May 11, 2020
  2. Coffee Addict

    Coffee Addict Well-Known Member

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    I have two things to address... first

    @Only for awhile
    You have arrived at quite the dilemma (it does not matter how you got here). On one hand, you best friend is having a momentous occasion and she feels like share the joy with close friends and family. On the other hand, you have feelings and a wife.

    From afar, it does not look fair to your friend to tell her now right before her wedding. What would she do with that information... in all likelihood nothing other than changed and rethink every interaction she has ever had with you. You will be passing on the burden to someone who did not ask for it.

    Maybe you need a symbolic telling of your story. Put your thoughts and feelings in paper, and burn it at sunset. Release yourself from them and with all the love you are capable of... release your friend as well. Didn't mean to sound dramatic, it's more like an exercise of letting go.

    As everything we say here, it is easier said than done.
     
    #62
  3. Coffee Addict

    Coffee Addict Well-Known Member

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    The second thing ...
    @greylin is a long time member of this forum and has always shown respect for the OPs by giving sincere, respectful opinions, whether those opinions are in favor or not for the OP.

    I am shocked to hear that someone would even imply that Grey would stalk, or even seem disturbed. It gives me the impression that it's the other way around.

    We all come here with the best intentions to provided our two cents for the people who bravely share their stories. They come here seeking advise.

    We all have the option to express our opinion; however, we are also compelled to keep our forums a safe space, and call out someone who may be going over the line. I do not think attacking Grey or Only for awhile, just because they don't agree with you.

    and with that... *ignore*
     
    #63

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