Part of me thinks she likes me?

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by Sarah559, Feb 13, 2015.

  1. Sarah559

    Sarah559 New Member

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    My crush has been going on for so long I am not sure where to begin. One minute I think she is into me and the next I think she is straight. 'She' is my coworker, divorced, 2 kids, Straight and religious. She is also much older than me.

    So much has happened but we got to this point over Christmas that I felt sure she liked me. Before Christmas she had taken me for lunch and after Christmas I returned it and paid for lunch. A couple of weeks later I said when are we going to lunch again? She said she wouldn't be able to make it that week as she was really busy. She is management so to be fair she could have been busy and she did seem it as she didn't stop for lunch.

    The next week she told me that she wanted to start doing gym at our workplace. She NEVER goes to the gym. I said that I'd go with her and she said that's what she hoped and let's go in the mornings together. I felt a bit rejected about the lunch but then the gym now seems like another possible way to spend time together.

    Then today I had helped out doing something for her and she sent an email to me and another coworker saying she would buy us lunch. I wouldn't be able to make the day they were going and I said laughingly she had planned that well. She said don't worry we will go when you get back. I'm wondering now if this is her saying she's on for the lunch I asked her to?

    She's so hard to read. Some days she will talk to everyone but me it seems but then later in the day it's like she breaks and talks. I've tried to watch how she behaves with others and she seems to behave differently towards me but I'm not sure if it's because she sees me as a close friend? Sometimes when she walks passed me she pushes me or punches me- I never see her do that to anyone else. And the compliments she gives...the other day I wore a new top. She said she liked it, it was a nice top but even if it wasn't, my body looks so good so would make it nice. I feel that's a bit more than saying 'nice top'? And she has said how sexy she thinks I am and pretty on other occasions.

    Yesterday as I walked passed her she started a conversation and then she said she needed a massage. I rubbed her shoulders a bit jokingly and stopped but she said harder so I massaged some more- at which point I needed a cold shower so had to stop!! But I thought she must have liked me touching her as she wouldn't have said harder to make me go back?

    Another example of how puzzling she is.... Yesterday we were talking about burlesque girls and she said everyone looks at them and when she is stood there watching she is thinking 'yes, no, yes, no". After I thought does that mean she doesn't know what she likes and today we spoke about it again and she said "no matter the type of dog, if there is a piece of meat they will go for it".

    But then she has talked of the men that hit on her and mentions when she has seen a fit guy.

    Any ideas?
     
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  2. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    Co-worker scenarios are always the worst -- I just think it's a bad idea all around even if there were some reciprocation of feelings.

    However, by what you've written...there's nothing that gives me pause to sit and think "this girl likes you in a way more than friendship." Having lunch...going to the gym....even massage (if two friends are comfortable, a massage can be completely platonic). Even thinking a burlesque girl is attractive -- doesn't mean a girl is gay. I think that you're seeing what you want to see -- projecting things onto her because you've had this crush for so long that any little morsel of attention she gives you is being interpreted the way you want things to happen. Sorry to break it to you, but unless you're leaving something out in what you've written...I just don't see that she's into you.
     
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  3. LPretreat

    LPretreat Active Member

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    I think there is a small chance that she likes you. But what you've described just sounds more like two friends who are comfortable with each other. I know I've had my moments with my straight friends, but it means nothing to either of us. I wouldn't get too invested in liking her unless something clear cut happens.
     
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  4. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    For the love of all things holy and good, don't even think about going there.

    A relationship with your older, Manager that you work under regularly would be exploitative and damaging.

    Older women don't date much younger women. (I'm guessing you are mid 20s and she is at least mid 40s). They sneak around to use them for sex, then dump them. (I speak from experience).

    You could loose your job and get caught up in a sexual harrasment complaint.

    Even if you don't loose your job, it will hurt your professional standing. People will gossip. They'll assume you are getting preferential treatment because you are banging the boss.

    Nothing good will come of it.

    Stay away from her, sign up for an online dating account and try your luck with available women your age.

    (As a non-sequetor, I've also had women offer to be my sugar momma. Creepy).
     
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  5. Sarah559

    Sarah559 New Member

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    Thanks for your replies. She has said to me before that if she was younger she would date me. I have also said to her before that she should be with me but she has said she can't as I am too young for her and people would accuse her of cradle snatching.

    Yes I am in my mid 20s and her mid 40s. Age doesn't bother me but I guess it bothers her. I keep thinking that if she doesn't actually feel attracted that should would say something like "if you were a man I would date you" rather than the age thing. Maybe it's just nicer to say that?
     
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  6. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    Frankly speaking age doesn't bother you... But being in my early 40's I'd be hard-pressed to get involved with someone in her mid 20's... Life experience matters. I couldn't imagine feeling that someone in her mid 20's would be a serious contender for a relationship.. I wouldn't view you on an equal playing field.. And I mean no disrespect but honestly...No.. Not trying to be elitist but someone in her mid 20's just hasn't experienced the same kinds of things...

    She's flattering you... Sure.. But I hardly think she's got any sense of seriousness beyond that.
     
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  7. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Your manager shouldn't be saying stuff like that to you. What the hell is wrong with her? Jesus WEPT!!

    She is a lot older than you and a lot more emotionally mature and powerful. 40 year olds don't have much in common with 20 year olds. If I had to talk with 25 year old me, I would find her immature, niave, incredibly walled off and too self absorbed - yet oddly lacking in self awareness. I'd get really sick of hearing about doing Jagerbombs and how deep NIN lyrics are. I wasn't a bad person, but I had a lot I needed to sort out.

    Emotionally and experience wise, the older person is way far ahead. She can easily wind up manipulating and hurting you, without even meaning to.

    She already has you very confused from her fucked up handling of all the emotional stuff. And by that I mean having no boundaries. She really needs to think about what she says to you and not wind you up saying things like "I would date you." Or blurring the lines between professional and personal with all this office grab assing and lunch buying.

    She is enjoying the fantasy of having a young female lover (though she doesn't want to act out that fantasy in real life and is embarrased by it). And she is enjoying feeling sexy and desirable and in control. Which doesn't mean she actually wants you, she just likes the fantasy. And she is gonna keep jerking you around in this fantasy until - she fets freaked out by it, or you guys get caught at work.

    But she is not stopping to think what jerking you around in her fantasy is doing to you, to the office and to your career (or hers, either). Which are big red flags that she is selfish and self centered.

    Have some self respect and don't get played as some bored housewife's PG-13 fantasy. At least if you are going the to be used and dumped, get a proper fuck out of it, which isn't going to happen here.
     
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  8. Tato

    Tato Active Member

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    No..the answer is just "no" she's not into what you think it is.

    I need not say more as most of the comments already said it good. I'm just here to support them.

    Sorry my friend but you are just dreaming. Please wake up before you get lost.

    When you see some chic looking at you in the eye while biting her lower lip. Thats when you come back and ask those questions again. :D
     
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  9. Emm

    Emm Well-Known Member

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    She's mid 40s. divorced. Straight. Religious. Has 2 kids (who have, I'm assuming, been through that divorce). And she's your manager, who makes casual (inappropriate for a workplace) comments you can read into as being slightly sexual.

    And you are mid 20s.
    even if she was into you, and that is a big If based on what you've said, there is a whole world of life experience between where she is and where you are. @Bluenote is totally right, you're running the risk of being some bored housewives fantasy.
     
    #9
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