This is my second try from my phone because the first didn't post so forgive me if it's not as coherent as I'd like it to be. I met a friend at work who set off my gaydar. We can call her D. Over the holidays I thought to myself, I'm going to become friends with her. (Don't worry, I don't work there anymore and I'd never do that anyway). We hit it off immediately and have become friends who talk and text daily, hang out regularly, and she has met my friends and family. Most of her friends live elsewhere and her family is sadly very complicated. Early on she was dating guys via a dating website. I was very supportive of this and encouraged her to engage, as she is so closed off when it comes to relationships. When we spent our first long weekend together I asked her about relationships (yes, on a whim I asked her to go with me and friends on a long weekend and she agreed without hesitation. This was 3 months in to this friendship). She has not had any serious relationships and has many excuses as to why. Too busy, family issues, poor body image, I dated him but "I don't know it was just weird", type of comments. She is in her early 30's. So the dating tapers off and she now spends much of her free time with me instead. I've been open since the beginning that I'm gay and I joke about my past relationships. She doesn't flinch. So as this progresses, I am feeling things and it got to be a little much for me. So I have a talk with a mutual work friend who just "gets" both of us. Turns out this friend (H) had just said something to D about me being her "girlfriend who isn't her girlfriend" and D said "it's not like that". My mouth dropped open. I asked of there had been other conversations. She said that when D and I first started hanging out they worked an event together and D told her she thought I liked her and then proceeded to spend 45 minutes telling H all the reasons she wasn't gay. H said "well straight people don't have to spend that much time saying why they aren't straight" and somewhere in there she told her not to mess with my feelings. I got a little mad when I heard this because I felt played. But when I think of D I see a person who is either so closeted or who maybe had a trauma that doesn't allow her to get close to anyone, guy or girl. So where she is so open with me emotionally she is closed physically. I could list the million examples of why I think there's something more but I'm old enough to know when a person is being a friend and when they feel a little something more. I'll just say that I have plenty of friends and I am not in as much contact or spend as much time with any of them. She texts me first thing when she gets up, does incredibly thoughtful things for me, and it's just more than a friendship that's "normal". She just may not be able to handle it or she may go screaming so deep into the closet I'll never see her again. I don't want that. But I also don't want to feel like I'm being used for all the non-physical intimacy of a true relationship. If that's all it will be I have to move on and meet other people. So there it is. Rock-me-hard place. Thoughts?